A Broken Mask
by riot3672
Summary: How Korra and Amon's endgame would've gone down if Amon hadn't been lying about his identity - he really was a non-bender living in the Fire Nation who'd gotten burned and then granted his abilities by a powerful spirit - and his subsequent fate. AU post-finale; AmonxOC; M for later chapters - sexual situations
1. Neutral

**A/N**: Set during the season finale. What would've happened if Amon really was a non-bender from the Fire Nation who had gifts given to him by a powerful spirit, and how it would've affected his fate. AU

* * *

Minutes before one of his biggest rallies, Amon seemed no more anxious than his usual calm exterior. His hands casually intertwined behind his back, he beckoned the Lieutenant closer.

"Are they here?" he asked.

The Lieutenant nodded. "I stationed them on the far right balcony."

"Excellent." He caught a glance as the Tenzin and his children were escorted past them, bound in chains. "And the airbenders? No surprises from them?"

When the Lieutenant looked back, the airbenders were already gone. "You still want to keep the baby with Councilman Tenzin's wife? He could be a bender too."

"Cleansing a baby, although would help the direct cause, wouldn't go over too well with the public, wouldn't you say? The older boy of Tenzin's—you said he could fight?"

The Lieutenant still cringed at the thought of that loss back on Air Temple Island. "Yes, but only as well as a young child can. Wild bending, not much control."

Amon nodded. "Yes, we won't spare the older children." He paused, making sure he'd hit every point. "Tarrlok. Would he have had enough time to drop the bait for the Avatar?"

"I didn't visit Tarrlok thinking he may have still been with them." A pinch of fear crossed the Lieutenant's face, mostly obscured by his uniform.

Amon remained neutral. "Well, if he didn't, we'll simply dispose of him." He smiled at his second-in-command from behind his mask. "Everything is set in motion. The Avatar will never see it coming."

The Lieutenant gave his leader a brief bow before tending to other duties. Amon looked to the large clock hanging behind the stage. Five minutes. Five minutes before he could finally destroy the Avatar for good.

She'd been a good adversary, Amon concluded. Young, impulsive, and ultimately, fearful. Taking her bending, once she was subdued, would be a simple task. He almost felt sorry for the young bender, so sure that she finally had an advantage on him. So sure that today was her day, that she'd take back Republic City. How far would she push the lie Tarrlok was feeding her? She'd proven to be quite stubborn, as well as productive under pressure. His thoughts moved back to that night he took Tarrlok's bending. He could still recall the coursing adrenaline and the bubbling pride once he was cleansed.

_He tried to bloodbend me_, Amon thought. _It was so cute._ How naïve Tarrlok had been, as if Amon wouldn't have been able to see through his lies, as if he'd have let Tarrlok put the blame on _his_ movement. As much as he disliked thinking about it, he'd _enjoyed _seeing Tarrlok's face as the events progressed steadily out of his favor.

Even so, the memory had moments of uncertainty, of pain. It wasn't easy to watch his fellow Equalists writhe on the floor from the councilman's dark power. He could even recall the feeling of the bloodbending: an unsettling sensation, as if his veins were being twisted out of place, as his blood struggled to do its job, leaving him just a bit lightheaded.

Then, his protector stepped in. He could imagine his voice, imagine how he calmed Amon, told him that he was invincible to the abusers' powers. The confidence jarred by the feelings of being bloodbend returned as he kept walking. Within seconds, his foot touched ground, and walking was effortless again.

In those moments when a scared and confused Tarrlok questioned him, he'd felt so self-assured that he'd even cracked a small joke. _The solution, Tarrlok. What else would you like me to say? I'm a human, if that helps. I'm not a bender either. _He'd smiled bigger than he had in months when Tarrlok was cleansed. Bloodbending was an awful force—even benders thought so—and he, Amon, had taken one of the most powerful bloodbending lines from the world.

He paused from thought. As opposed to the other elements, he was fully aware of its genetic possibilities. Airbending or waterbending could show up again, but if bloodbending such as Tarrlok's reappeared—perhaps he would have to take a life for the revolution. The idea wasn't pleasant, but it could be necessary.

"One minute, Amon," an Equalist told him.

Amon nodded and strode into position. Yes, the young Avatar had matched his men that snowy night, and even Amon himself. Not that it was much of a dapper to Amon; he'd only planned to keep her for a couple days, perhaps try to understand the girl more through personal contact and conversation. Surely she could've realized that their goals were one in the same.

But, alas, that fork in the road was passed, and this plan was foolproof. _Stop_, he warned himself, _Never let yourself get too cocky_. He took a deep breath and readjusted his precious mask. He moved his hands behind his back and looked down. Just one more rally, and the Avatar would be out of his hair.

He began the rally as any other, thanking his supporters, illustrating the progression in their movement, and even touching a bit on his past, about why he started this revolution.

"Amon's lying!" he heard far from his stage.

He smiled and looked up to see the Avatar and her firebending friend, both disguised as Equalists. "Don't be worried by the Avatar's appearance, my brothers and sisters. She's our special guest," he said.

"Amon's a fake," the Avatar said one beat before Amon finished his last sentence. "He's really a waterbender named Noatak from the Northern Water Tribe. But worse, he's been using bloodbending to take away people's bending. He's Tarrlok's brother, Yakone's son. His family was never killed by a firebender."

Amon smirked as he grabbed for the straps keeping the mask to his face. "The Avatar seems a bit confused." Amon removed the mask, revealing his face: Fire Nation ethnic features—amber eyes and pale skin—and burn scars that crossed his cheeks, giving a reddish pink color and a wrinkled, dried out appearance. He pushed his black hair out of the way, as if to fully display his past. The Avatar and her friend gasped. "Anything to say, Avatar?"

"You—you're—no, you're a waterbender, a bloodbender. You can't—"

Amon refastened the mask to his face, where he smirked behind the shield. "There's no reason you shouldn't stick around for the events." The Airbenders were brought out, bringing out that spark of determination he'd seen in her eyes many times before. "Tonight, I rid the world of Airbending."

He only managed to catch a few seconds' of the fear on the Airbending children's faces before the Avatar and her friend were on his stage, ready for the attack.

Now came the fun part.

The young benders' attacks both came in the form of fire, as if they were aiding his point established with his face. Fear having left his mind years before, he dodged each attack effortlessly, even able to show his followers his prowess without the all powerful bending they'd grown to fear. The Avatar removed herself from the offensive and worked to free the airbenders. Once Tenzin was free, Amon counted his moves. One dodge; the airbender would've just been working out his strategy. Two dodges; he would've been trying it out, but it was still rusty.

On the third blow, Amon allowed it to knock him off stage. When he collected himself, he made sure that the Avatar would follow him, and scurried offstage.

He could imagine the disappointment for his followers as the airbenders escaped. In truth, out of all the bending disciplines, he tolerated airbending the most. From what he'd seen, airbenders never abused their powers. They were a peaceful people, and legend said that even Avatar Aang had refused to use his bending as an offensive for the beginning chunk of his fight against the Fire Nation.

Of course, he'd be back for them. Eventually.

He met the Avatar at a corner, where she shot a blast of fire at him, large enough to hinder his chase. Still running, he spread his hands out and watched as his protector formed a gap in the fire. Sticking a graceful landing, he kept running, unaware of she'd seen the feat or not.

Allowing the Avatar to pick the location of their final confrontation, he soon found himself walking through a large empty storage room, her hiding place childish. He stepped loudly, making sure her anxiety rose the farther he went.

He took two steps past her table, waited, and kicked over the table. His movement was met by a gust of fire, which he avoided by allowing his off balance from the kick to bring him to the floor. From there, jumping to his feet saved him another blow.

But, as he dodged the Avatar's attack, her friend served him another. Even Amon's reflexes still allowed the fire to singe a bit off the side of his clothing. He surveyed the situation; without his workers to hold down one of them as he cleansed the other, the task at hand proved to be a bit more difficult.

Unsure of his protector's intentions, he played it as if he were alone.

He ran for the Avatar first, evading blows as he'd done with all his victims, and soon enough, the Avatar's uncertainty and fear put her in the position where he could put one hand on her spine and one on her forehead.

She held in a scream as he cleansed her, and slumped forward as they all did. He hoped his protector was pleased with his work. He could still remember him—

An exhilarating pain ripped through his body as he realized the firebender had shot him with lightening. Unlike the gloves or even the Lietenant's kali sticks, he knew how deadly a firebender's lightening could be.

Following only what he'd observed powerful firebenders do over his years, he moved his arms, now pointed at the firebender, and watched as the lightening passed through his body. Disguised by his mask, Amon could feel his protector temporarily possess his body, briefly sharing his wisdom with Amon.

A significant amount of his energy had drained with the brief possession, but Amon sauntered forward to the shocked and injured firebender.

"You _are _a bender. Maybe not a waterbender, but still a bender," the Avatar's friend accused.

Amon smiled behind his mask. "Not exactly."

He removed the firebender's bending and stood tall, the Avatar finally defeated. Now, what would he be doing with his trophies?

His head whipped to the side as he watched a pile of wood suddenly implode, causing the material to fall as debris. How could that have—?

A gust of wind hit his face.

It was amateur. It couldn't even knock him off his feet for a second.

But it did succeed in knocking his mask off. He watched in horror as the porcelain mask tumbled to the floor and shattered into hundreds of pieces.

Amon suddenly felt lightheaded. It had been his one rule. _This mask is our connection. If it breaks, I cannot give you power._

He managed one glance at a proud yet very lost Avatar Korra before he felt himself leave his body. One moment he was standing in a storage room and the next he was inside a dark cave, a familiar malevolent presence surrounding him.

_Show no emotion, Amon. You know what he'll do_.

He lowered his head, closed his eyes, and opened them to find a black and white mask staring at him, inches from his own face. His heart jumped, but he kept his face neutral.

"I'm a bit disappointed, young one," the spirit said as a shard of Amon's mask appeared in his hands. "I thought you could've lasted longer than this."

"It was a poor mistake. I'm sorry, master," he replied.

Koh's face changed to a Water Tribe woman's. "You were arrogant. You should've taken better care of our mask."

"I'll do better next time."

Koh circled around Amon once, then moved back into his face. "I don't know if there is a next time, young one." His breath stank, and it was almost bad enough to crack Amon's façade. "Making these kinds of connections isn't easy. And, well, if I can't connect with you, your ability to block bending goes. Where would that leave you?"

"The revolution. I can't abandon it. All those helpless people still being oppressed—you have to make a new mask."

Koh's face turned to a blue devilish mask with tusks coming out its bottom lip. "You'd be nothing but a scarred Fire Nation boy without a face without me. I give commands."

Amon swallowed. "I apologize, master. What will you do with me if I can't take away bending?"

Koh turned around. "Do you miss them, Amon? Your family?"

"Yes."

"Which more? Your face or your family?"

"I miss them both."

Koh swayed back and forth. "You were such a good pawn. You did a superb job. I can't help but wonder what brought you down."

"The Avatar."

Koh's face turned to a young man's face, where he looked inquisitive. "Ah yes, the Avatar after the boy. It was such a shame that I couldn't add the child's face to my collection. The new one—yes. Do you think the spirit realizes that I kept my promise? We met again." He smiled. "Through you." He paused switching to an old man's face. "Are you proud of your accomplishments, young one? You're one step from eliminating bloodbending from the mortal world."

"If I could kill Tarrlok."

He made eyes contact with Amon. "Will you do it? Even after I release you? If I do?"

Amon nodded. "I'm still your servant, Koh."

Koh changed into a curly-tailed blue nose and grinned. "You're weak. You've always been just a little weak. It's a part of being human. I don't blame you, of course. You were a bit scared when you first felt bloodbended. It was tiny, young one. Good for a human. But, I'm a bit curious as well."

Koh slithered away, then returned to Amon, nose to nose, his face still the blue nose. Inside, Amon was shaken, but he kept his face.

"You're right, you know," Koh said, changing back to the black and white Noh mask. "Your revolution has done good for the mortal world. You'll be a hero when you return. You've grown into a masterful tactician. Your father would be proud."

Amon smiled. Just the tiniest curl of his lips, but Koh saw it. As Amon fell woozy from the impact of what he'd done, Koh's mask went from surprised to gleeful.

"Oh, Amon. Oh, my poor young one. That's twice this has happened."

Slowly, the centipede-like creature approached him. "Please Koh, I didn't mean—"

"I already took your face as a child, didn't I? The burned face. I gave you a new one with time, though, didn't I?" Some phantom limb of Koh's reached out and touched his face. "It looks healed now. You almost look like the handsome man you should be." Koh's eyes lit up. "We can swap faces. For all you did for me, it works. It's not like you had much of a face when I found you." Koh chuckled. "Only slight remains of a nose. Blind in one eye, deaf in one ear. Cheek still sinewy from the deep burn. Oh yes, hardly a face. Anything else to say, young one? I fear we won't meet again for many years."

"Thank you."

With that, Koh's spirit touched Amon's face and he screamed, the pain like the spirit was literally ripping his face from him. Sometime in the excruciating process, he fell unconscious and was returned to his body.

Still weak and disorientated, he put his hand to his face for support, only to realize that he was touching the charred remains of his cheek. He didn't even need a mirror to know what had happened. He wasn't sure where he was, but he knew the Avatar had moved him.

They hadn't noticed his awakening, and, with the last of the tactical mind he had relied on, he jabbed several chi blocking points and knocked them both out. Had Koh somehow messed with them as well? Did they think he was dead? As a child, after his first meeting with Koh, he woke up in his town's healer where she announced that he'd risen from the dead.

The Avatar had brought some of his mask with her. Despair tried to wash over him as he thought about his powerlessness. What would his followers do if they knew the spirits had severed their connections to him? He would fall as their leader.

He squeezed his eyes shut, unable to bear the idea of his revolution falling because of a broken mask. He'd rather they think him dead than a failure. He glanced at the pieces of his mask and a window at the end of the room. What if his followers saw him as a martyr, having died in a fight with the Avatar? He picked up the mask shards, pulled off all his armor, and stuck them on a couple pieces of loose wood. Tucking the mask into the dummy, he broke the window and threw the wood out into the water below.

Amon pulled his hood over his face as best he could and walked out of the rally arena and found a motorcycle an Equalist had left.

At the closest town, he bought a new mask for when's Koh's "face" disappeared and he would be left expressionless. He'd done a similar process to him as a child, but the face had grown. All it took was one look in a passing river and he saw that he had a flesh wound on his chin that exposed bone, an injury he hadn't sustained as a child.

The motorcycle ran out of fuel, so he switched to public transportation for the remainder of his run, shame rushing over him as he saw people glance at his monstrous face and turn away. He stuck the mask on his face and secured it, but it was nowhere near as comforting as the mask Koh had given him.

Even with his gaze down, he watched as a young girl held a cup of tea. "Mama, it's cold now."

"I'm sorry honey, there's nothing we can do," her mother whispered back.

Non-benders, always at the short end of the stick, always two steps behind the benders. Anger simmered as he realized how cowardly he was being, and how his revolution very well may die with his own "death." People like this would never—

A young man with black hair, amber eyes, and pale skin approached the girl. "I could heat that up if you want."

The girl smiled and handed the firebender the cup. Amon watched as the bender heated the cup until it was letting off a soft steam before handing it back to the girl. "Thanks, mister," the girl said before moving back to her mother.

Amon couldn't take it. He buried his masked face into his arms.

"Where ya going?" the firebender said as he sat next to Amon.

Amon raised his head. "Home. Nowhere."

The firebender raised an eyebrow. "The bullies got you, didn't they? The firebenders who still have the crazy notion that Fire Lord Ozai's reign was for the good." Amon didn't answer. "My mother has a scar that she hides too. Until the Avatar does something about it, guys like you and me ought to stick together." Every instinct Amon had told him to grab the firebender's spine and forehead, but he knew he couldn't. He sighed and put his face back in his arms. "You look tired. When's the last time you had a good night's sleep?"

_When I was a kid,_ Amon thought. "A long time."

The firebender smiled. "You should sleep. I'll make sure no one touches your mask."

Amon wasn't sure why, but he placed his elbow on the armrest, propped his face in his palm, and lulled himself to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks everyone for reading! I'd always liked the Koh theory best and thought it really kept Amon in character if his biggest threat was a powerful spirit. Plus, I never really saw him as a hypocrite, and the Noatak identity was compelling, but I felt like Amon and Noatak's stories just didn't mesh well together.


	2. Integration

**A/N: **Thanks to several reviewers egging me to continue this, I figured that I might as well try out something new and attempt to write a whole fic. I'm estimating it to be pretty short (20,000-30,000 words), but hopefully it'll be a good story (I've never done this before, so please be kind :P)

* * *

Amon was amazed to find how clearly he knew the way back to his hometown. Once escaping the train and the over-friendly firebender, he waited on the docks of a lazy Earth Kingdom port town, weighing his options for sea travel. The humble farming town he grew up in wasn't_ too_ deep into the Fire Nation, but it didn't make the trip free.

He pulled out the money he'd taken off the motorcycle he left a couple miles outside of Republic City. Like Amon himself, the Equalist who owned the bike wasn't prepared to run away across oceans. There were a couple public steamboats that could take him to the mainland, but the money saved would be spent needing to navigate back to his town.

He glanced at the few speedboats docked. Perhaps he could bargain for a cheaper ride. For the first time since setting out in public, he removed his mask, hoping it could serve as a pity factor.

After pacing the docks a couple times, he found a hardened Earth Kingdom man with a child clamped to his leg.

"You taking private trips?" Amon asked.

The boat owner looked Amon over head-to-toe: a man in all black clothing in the middle of summer, probably in his twenties or thirties, with Fire Nation features and a facial scar. "How much will you pay?"

"What happened to your face, mister?" the child asked.

"Lee, don't ask him about that," the man chided before turning back to Amon.

Amon pulled out his money. "This is all I have."

The boat owner raised an eyebrow. "Where do you want this to take you?"

"The central islands of the Fire Nation."

The boat owner did not look pleased. "That trip will at least take a day nonstop, and just for this. It's not a good deal, sir."

Amon was already getting frustrated. Wasn't it less than twenty-four hours ago that he had almost full control of the capital of the United Nations, and now he couldn't get a measly ride to the Fire Nation. He slumped his shoulders. "Please sir, this is all the money I have. I haven't seen my family since I was a child. If you get nothing, you can have some good karma." Amon forced a smile. "You need that on the sea."

The child tugged at his father's leg. "Please say yes, Dad. I want him to tell me about his scar." The boy looked to Amon, who smiled. "Besides, you haven't gotten money in days. Let us take him. He looks brave."

Brave? If he were so brave, Koh wouldn't have taken his face and cast him off. He wouldn't have abandoned the Equalists.

"Alright sir, we'll take you." Amon handed him most of his money, and jumped in the boat. "No belongings?"

Amon shook his head. "Just the mask. I travel light."

Amon took a seat on the left side of the boat, Lee sat beside him, and Lee's father started the engine.

"So, how did you get your scar, mister?" Lee repeated.

Amon hadn't had much experience with children, and wasn't sure what would happen if he didn't give in to the child's demands. "What's your name?"

The boy crossed his arms. "It's Lee, weren't you listening?"

"Sorry." Why was he apologizing to this kid? He didn't apologize to Lin Beifong when he took her bending.

"What's your name?"

Amon had been contemplating this his whole trip over to the port. "Takeo."

The boy paused for thought. "You're from the Fire Nation, right?" Amon nodded. "What's your town like?"

Amon hadn't actually recalled details of his home in decades. What were generic Fire Nation qualities? "Quiet. People farmed and sold products in the marketplace." Memories slowly faded back: how it was surrounded by a forest, and during the right season, fire lilies bloomed. "Lots of plants."

Lee shook his head. "So how did you get your scar?"

Amon caught his reflection in the water, and something occurred to him: his face wasn't the vile images Koh had presented to him. In fact, the only scar was a bright red patch on his left cheek. Hadn't Koh stolen his face, given him the carcass? He blinked, suddenly aware that he didn't notice any handicaps. Completely forgetting the boy, he covered one eye, and then the other. They were working fine.

He stared at the water in confusion. Koh stole his face. How did it look _better _than when before he saw the spirit? Was he seeing something wrong? Was this a trick of Koh's, and he was the only one who didn't see the monster? He touched the scar, remembering the texture from his first few moments out of the Spirit World.

"I was impaled by a hot fireplace poker."

Amon stopped, realizing how disturbed he must've sounded right about then. Lee struggled to make eye contact with him, dodging around the seat. Amon quickly grew tired of the game, and met the boy's disappointed eyes.

"I thought you got it from fighting a saber-tooth moose lion."

Amon's eyes widened. If he'd been fighting one of those, he could imagine it would be more what part of his face was left. "I'm pretty lucky _that_ didn't happen."

"Please ignore my son; he's got an overactive imagination."

Lee picked up Amon's new mask from its spot between Amon's feet. Amon jerked downward, automatically wired to protect his fake face at all costs. All it got him was a head butt with the boy, who smiled triumphantly, his front teeth missing.

"This mask isn't that nice. You could've gotten a better one."

_I had a better one_, Amon thought. Lee's father glared at him, and the boy handed the mask back to Amon. He studied the child as he was forced to sit on the opposite side of the boat. Was he a bender? Was the father a bender? He couldn't stand the thought that he didn't know. He took a slow breath; he shouldn't be disturbed, especially if they weren't bending to power the boat. It was gas powered; his hand was resting near the opening to the fuel tank.

As he gazed out at the ocean, he wondered how the Lieutenant and the Equalists were doing without him. Ignoring his mask slip-up, his plan had gone perfectly. So long as his followers believed the Avatar had killed him, they'd have a fuel to the fire without him. That, combined with Tarrlok's fabrication, would keep his ideas in their minds for years to come. Who would take command of his revolution, Hiroshi or the Lieutenant? As much as he admired Sato, he was too concerned with his daughter to serve as a stable leader. Although he'd told Sato that his daughter would return to him, Amon knew the girl wouldn't. All it took was one lie, and teenagers tended to turn away from their parents. Besides, Sato's daughter—Asami, wasn't it—was a strong girl. He didn't want to imagine where Sato was then. Yes, the Lieutenant would surely step up for the revolution.

"What're you thinking about?" Lee asked.

Kids were pesky things, weren't they? He remembered why he'd had the Lieutenant deal with the airbender children. He wasn't sure whether to cringe or laugh at how the Equalists had been defeated by Tenzin's children and Beifong. Whenever Amon casually brought up the subject, the Lieutenant would turn red and steer the conversation away. He still couldn't believe the kids had made such a significant impact, and wondered what this Lee child could do.

"Nothing."

"You had to be thinking about something."

What was he supposed to say? His dislike of children? "How someone I know fell off a cliff." The boy stared in horror. Amon coughed. "...and lived."

Lee's eyes brightened. "Really? How did he do it?"

In all honesty, Amon didn't know. He figured the Lieutenant was slightly invincible or had oxymoronic luck. Amon simply shrugged.

"How old—?"

"Lee, leave the man alone! Can't you see he's tired of your questions?"

The boy's silence was a relief, but it left him to do nothing but stare at his hands, wondering if he could do anything besides chi block with them.

"Are you a firebender?"

Amon fought to keep the contempt out of his voice. "No."

"I wish I was—"

"Lee!"

To Amon's surprise, the boy didn't ask him any more questions. Then again, he did fall asleep for about nine hours, but it was still impressive.

* * *

An unfamiliar wave of emotion washed over the former leader of the Equalists as his tiny childhood town came into view. It was just the right season for fire lilies, and he could imagine their bright color cascading across the meadows by his old home. For the first time in so long, he felt peaceful. No more plans to make. No more followers to keep happy and benders to keep manipulated. No more Republic City and the bender scum it housed.

He glanced back down at his reflection. Would anyone recognize him? It'd been twenty or so years since he'd been home. He'd spent so long behind a mask, it was foreign to think of people actually seeing his face—recognizing it, even. Would any of his childhood friends still be around?

Well, if he could remember a single name or face of a friend. It seemed as if after the attack, he'd erased personal memories of the town.

He kept his goodbye to Lee and his father quick and professional. He walked forward and stopped in front of the entrance to the public square. It looked almost identical to what it had once been: too small to have much more than one Cabbage Car, people bustling around the marketplace, and the forest a strong shield against the outside world.

He ended up at a tavern that must've been put in during the years he was gone. It was much simpler than the trendy bars he'd visited in Republic City: wood "décor," one radio sitting behind the bar tender, a ten seat bar, and a couple tables placed randomly throughout the room.

He found his way to the bar, wanting to know right away if there was gambling allowed in the establishment; if luck was on his side, he could make enough money to stay in the inn whose owner would jump at a creaking floorboard.

"Are bets allowed here?" he asked the tired-looking man mixing sake drinks for the crowds.

"Yes, but there's no games going on."

_Off to the woods_, he thought.

"Hi."

Amon turned around to find a girl a bit younger than him, smiling a flirty smile. He was taken aback; he hadn't exactly been sought after as the masked leader of the Equalists. "Hi."

"Are you a local?" she asked.

Amon nodded. "Homecoming."

Unless this girl was going to give him a place to stay, he really needed to figure out how to reject her. "Could I buy you a drink?"

If he wasn't going to be able to afford dinner, he might as well get a drink. "That would be great."

He allowed the girl to order for him, and swigged the drink down as he watched the crowds. If he waited long enough, maybe an opportunity would present itself.

Sure enough, he watched a young woman with shoulder length black hair, heart-shaped lips slathered in dark red lipstick, and clever amber eyes pick up her hands and place them on a smug-faced man in his early twenties. They interlocked fingers and thumbs, wrapping them around the back of the others' hands. Amon furrowed his brow. He'd seen arm wrestling, but what was this? He'd been out of socializing for way too long.

He watched as the two patrons attempted to bend back the other's hands. His first reaction was to wonder if that pain felt similar to being bloodbent.

He watched the hands struggle backwards and forwards, groans escaping the man's lips, but not a single peep from the woman. Even when her hand was pushing 89 degrees with her wrist, she muttered "mercy" from between grit white teeth.

The man smirked as the woman handed her money over. Amon shook his head in disdain; what man was proud to defeat a woman at a physical test then take her money? He took a swig of sake and bounced the liquid around his mouth. Then again, winning a contest could mean not camping out in the woods.

"Anyone up for a little duel?" Amon asked the crowd, pulling out what little money he had left. Double or nothing." He smirked. "I'm a non-bender."

Several men stood, but the woman who lost the hand game slapped her remaining money down first. "I'll take ya. Just a warning, though: I'm a firebender."

Amon figured. "Won't make a difference."

The woman searched him for a weapon. "What'll you fight with?"

Amon smiled. "Nothing more than what the spirits gave me."

As Amon jumped out of his seat, the woman smirked. "I won't lie and say it won't be fun to bring you down."

Such a bender attitude. She'd see how she felt once he was done with her. It was as if benders had forgotten that chi blocking existed. The two walked outside and into a patch without much vegetation.

"Since we can't do an Agni Kai, whoever pins the other for thirty seconds wins."

Amon nodded. "As the lady wishes."

For a brief second, he wondered how he ended up in a duel with a firebender after less than a day in his hometown. He had no idea what powers he still had, and it occurred to him that Koh wouldn't protect him from the fire this time.

He took a deep breath; he didn't need Koh. He'd been training for years, and was a skilled fighter without him. He'd fought some of the most powerful benders on earth and won; this girl would be nothing.

She began the duel with a quick blast toward his feet. He easily lifted his feet from the blow, and bent sideways mid jump to avoid her second blow to his head. He completed his flip and landed with two feet on the ground. He brushed a strand of loose hair out of his face, appearing unimpressed.

Hoping he could finish the fight before it got too dark, he ran at the woman, sliding left and right to avoid her rain of short puffs.

He jabbed one pressure point in her left arm, leaving the limb limp and her brow creased. "You're chi bl—?"

Amon stole a smile. "What did you think?"

He attempted to get her working arm around her back, but she shot a line of fire from a kick, him only able to dodge it by letting go of her. She then took a crouching position and sent fire in a ring around her. Amon jumped to avoid it, but miscalculated the fire's position when he landed, forcing him to stumble back to avoid singeing his foot.

Impatient with his mistakes, he grabbed her arm, and forced it back.

Instincts he thought he'd be able to avoid caused him to clamp his left hand around her upper spine and his right thumb on her forehead.

* * *

**A/N: **Whew, so there we have it. The concept of the story is still how Amon deals with his defeat by Korra, and shall remain Amon-centric except for maybe a few brief cameos from others. Thanks for reading and I hope everyone chooses to continue.

As a huge note for this story, does Amon's character remain consistent and in character? It's one of my main goals. :)


	3. The Offer

**A/N: **Hey all, sorry about the long wait, but this story is definitely still going! Thanks to everyone who's been reading this story, and especially those who've liked it enough to favorite it, alert it, or review it. It truly is because of you guys that I'm continuing this. I hope it keeps being as good as you guys think it is.

* * *

The still significant part of him that was in denial waited for the girl to slump forward under his power. Of course, instead of the contracting pupils and sudden loss of energy from his victim, the firebender simply stayed put.

"…What are you doing?" she asked with nothing more than utter confusion.

Every misguided thought he'd held while in the energybending position washed out of his brain. What was he doing? He couldn't take bending any more. How could he have let his guard down enough to forget the events at the arena? No longer could he feel the power rushing through him like with Koh, but human things: how soft the firebender's skin was, the slight breeze as it ran across his mask-less face, and the vulnerability of working without his armor.

He pulled his hands away from her. What a pathetic slave he'd become to Koh's power. He could win the fight without bending. A moment later, her realized that the woman's hesitance was draining. In fact, he was caught completely off guard when she grabbed his waist and flipped him over her head, his head landing roughly by her knees.

Disorientated from just his train of thought, he failed to nudge out of her pin.

A smile of victory crossed her lips as she let him go. "Good match." She held a hand for him, but he pulled himself up. "My name's Emi."

Amon shook the dirt out of his hair, completely locked in disbelief. Did he just lose a duel against some villager? "Takeo."

Needing some honor to remain his, he handed over the money.

"I'll see ya around?"

Was she flirting with him or taunting him? Amazing how that mask had made life so simple. He left without an answer, figuring he'd be the good guy and attempt to fish instead of stealing from empty homes. Plus, he had no stomach for begging.

After several hours of sitting in front of a stream with a sharp stick, he caught one tiny fish that was probably on its way to die anyway. Nostalgia overwhelmingly present, he collected some loose sticks and a stone.

Gritting his teeth against the obvious conclusion that he'd spent far too long in the city and how pathetic he'd become, he didn't notice a companion join him.

"No flame?"

He turned around and found the firebender whom he'd dueled kneeling down beside him. "No. And, for the record, I'm a bit concerned that you're stalking me."

He rubbed the sticks harder, hoping maybe his frustration could produce a flame. "I could get that wood burning in seconds, if you'd like."

What was she doing here? "No thanks."

"You sure?"

He threw the sticks down. "I'll eat it raw if I have to."

Why hadn't she left yet? He looked up and saw her with a tiny smile on her face. "You're probably gonna regret eating it without cooking it. Lately, the fish have been a bit dirty."

She picked up one of the sticks stuck it in Amon's pile, only for the pile to finally burst into flames. Amon was far from amused. "I'd rather risk poisoning myself than using bending."

Emi's expression turned to shock. "Wow, quite the extremist, aren't you?"

Amon ignored her, scooping water into his hands and quelling the flame. "Don't you have somewhere else to be? Isn't this forest haunted?"

Emi chuckled. "That was over a hundred years ago. And come on, I feel really bad about taking your food and shelter money. You could stay in my place and I could make you some food without using bending."

The idea should've been enticing, but Amon's mind was far from logical. "Thanks for the offer, but I think you ought to be heading home. I'll be fine."

She glanced at his impaled fish. "You sure?"

"Certain."

Emi shrugged and left Amon in the forest. He stared at his fish, unsure if he should believe what the firebender had said. Upon removing the stick from its body, a brown substance began oozing out. Startled and disgusted, he threw the fish back in the water, sighed, and dragged himself to a nearly meadow, fire lilies all around him. Curling himself into a ball, he stared up at the mountain so many people had told stories of. They were fuzzy in the wake of his aggravated mind and displeased body.

What would he have been doing if everything had gone as planned with the Equalists? Perhaps he'd be asleep in his bed, amenities abound thanks to Hiroshi's generosity as of recently. Or, more likely, he'd be sipping tea or wine with the Lieutenant as they went over plans for the next rally. He could imagine the warmth and hope in the room as he and the Lieutenant realized how their hard work had finally paid off. Bending would be illegal. He had just recently been considering how to bring the news to the quiet benders who had stayed out of the process. Somehow, he had to cradle the neutral ones from turning to the benders' side, encourage his brothers and sisters, and keep the active benders in their place.

Just thinking about it gave Amon a slight headache, but it could've easily have been hitting his head on the solid dirt.

_That's not your life anymore_, Amon thought. _Now, all you have to worry about is yourself._

And what a wonderful job he was doing at that. Getting food would have to be his first goal the following day. If the innkeeper was in a good mood, he could probably offer to buy groceries and snag a free meal.

With the beginnings of a plan and the summer night warm enough not to freeze, he fell asleep.

* * *

The next morning, he woke up in a delusional state, swearing he could smell fresh food right in front of him. He sat up, picked a twig out of hair, and stared at a tied up red bag a couple feet from him.

He crawled over to it and opened it, finding a still steaming loaf of ash banana bread, komodo sausage, and a note. _None of this was made with bending. – Emi_

He still didn't understand this young woman's intentions, but his head had cleared quite a bit from last night; free food was free food.

Forgetting himself, he ate wolfishly, hardly tasting the food, yet inviting memories he didn't even know he had to surface. His family had been grain farmers, and his mother would make tart pie when the harvest was good. His father used to tell him stories how his grandfather met his grandmother by slipping her free komodo sausages whenever she stopped by.

The food left a pleasant heat in his mouth, something he knew could only come from real Fire Nation food. Maybe he was broke and lost, but he certainly wasn't missing Republic City that much. He'd have to thank the girl if he saw her again.

He walked through the town's bustling market, where he still received a long glance and a smile from some of the local girls. Venders and customers chatted as they shopped, the dirt roads were clean, and kids chased after one another, laughing. The town's light atmosphere seemed too good to be true.

Amon kept the grip on his mask tight, waiting for the perfect little morning to collapse into the fear and chaos he remembered. However, he managed to walk to his old home without a single scrap with the local gangsters he imagined hadn't left yet.

The house threatened to wash an uncontrollable amount of emotion on the hardened man, so he rejected entering the home in favor of climbing onto its roof, like he'd done to watch the stars as a child.

As he swiftly climbed to the top, he knew six-year-old him would've been proud; it had always been so difficult to reach the roof, and would need his father to lift him from the skylight in the attic onto the gradually angled surface. The red shingles were a bit uncomfortable on his back, but it felt…right.

He crossed his arms, the mask coddled to his chest, and watched the fire lilies blow in the light breeze. There had to be another destiny for him. If he couldn't be the leader of the Equalists, there had to be something else he could do to bridge the equality between those born with power and those who had to earn it.

"Hey you!" Amon flipped to his side and looked down at the man standing in a confrontational stance by his home's front door. Amon didn't answer. "Hey man, you must've been drinking too much last night. You're lying on private property."

_Of course I'm on private property_, Amon thought, _since this is my home. _Amon sat up, dangling his legs off the edge. "What was that?"

The man seethed. "I said get down from there."

Amon smoothened his hair. "Why?"

The firebender sent a blast of fire right at Amon's head that he dodged easily. Still maintaining his calm disposition, he hopped down and met the man eye-to-eye, slightly pleased that he was a few inches taller.

"Are you sure you want a fight?" Amon asked.

Amon took a couple steps back and placed his hands behind his back. The firebender smiled. "I'd actually _love_ one."

Amon allowed the bender one clear shot before he slid his feet forward, avoiding the blow. Once on the ground, he waited until the firebender approached slightly to jump to his feet and deliver a couple jabs to the shoulders. With his arms limp, Amon grabbed his shoulder and shoved it forward, giving him full access to the big block points on his back. Another two jabs, and the bender was collapsed on the floor.

Amon surveyed his surroundings, and found only one witness.

"You are incredible. Does anyone tell you that?" Emi asked.

_A monster, yes, but incredible is not common_. "Why do you keep showing up in my life?"

Emi shrugged. "It's a small town." Amon returned to his spot on the roof, and Emi followed suit, using fire to jump-start. Amon rolled his eyes. "The truth is I admire you." She paused, moving her hand from its spot a few inches toward him into her lap. He watched the hand move, still too unsure to look her in the eyes. But, once it lay in her lap, he figured it was safer to look up. "Not romantically, like the sheep girls gawking at you." He had the slightest doubt in his mind of this. Or, maybe it was his own mind playing tricks on him; she was pretty. Maybe not as pretty as Hiroshi's daughter or high class socialites of Republic City, but certainly not hard to look at. "For your skills. You are the best non-bender fighter I've ever seen." He instantly thought to compare his and her skills. She was a considerable fighter herself, and her ability to ignore his major slip up with the extreme chi blocking was a rare quality. It almost reminded him of himself before everything got so messed up.

"And, well, I've noticed your predicament, and I have a plan that could benefit us both." She pulled at her shirt, and he was back to watching her hand as it stroked the fabric protecting her chest. He shook his head. _Focus_. "I'm going to mess with the Moon Monster Triad tomorrow. They've been bullies in this town for decades, and it's time someone stood up to them."

His head cleared, and he remembered who they were talking about. Cold thoughts about the day the Triad tortured and murdered his parents flashed back into his mind. He could still remember naivety and youth pushing him to same place Emi was at. _I thought the same thing, and then I got my face burned off_. A twinge of compassion surfaced, causing him to momentarily forget that she was a bender. "That's probably not a good idea. Trust me, the Triad members are not guys you want to go up against. Messing with them, as you claim, could easily cost you your life, or leave you mangled for the rest of your life. I've lived here long enough to know what kind of monsters they are, but vigilantes won't bring them down."

She put a hand on Amon's shoulder, and a shiver ran down his spine. "That's why I need _you_: you're a master at fighting without bending. They'd never see it coming. We could be an unstoppable force."

Amon shook his head. He wouldn't put himself back in that position. "What benefits come from this, anyway? I'm not in the mood to die for my town's honor."

"Money. What do you think I want to do, go in and beat them up for my pride? No, we'd be raiding their savings. You need money, don't you?"

Amon nodded. He _did_ need money, and something inside him really wanted to show those gangsters what they'd created when they messed with his family. He had to remind that little boy cowering inside him that he was a full grown and extremely powerful man. He wanted to see the limp body and defeated face of that firebender who'd threatened him. There was even a part of him that just wanted to show Emi that he really was capable of beating any firebender who dared to fight him. He was Amon, leader of the Equalists, chosen by the spirits to house a power beyond benders' wildest nightmares—

_You're just Amon, the chi blocker_, he reminded himself.

"I'll do it," he said, "but I have some conditions. You treat me as you would a master bender, because my work holds to that esteem. That means no patronizing me like you did last night with the fire. Just because I can't bend doesn't mean I can't function on my own."

Emi laughed. "Okay, okay. Look, I get you: my nephews are non-benders and say the same thing. Would you like me to give you some cash for the inn or could you swallow your pride and stay with a firebender for the night?"

He had never been a huge fan of the inn, especially after realizing that its legends were true. Plus, there was something alluring about this firebender. He would never admit it—not even to himself—but he wanted to see her again. "I'll stay with you." He jumped down from the roof, and caught Emi as she jumped down. As he would've done had the roles been reversed, she pushed him away and started leading the walk. He remembered his manners. "Thanks for the food, by the way."

Emi nodded. "My sister makes good ash banana bread, doesn't she?" Amon nodded.

She stared at him for a moment, brow creased. For a moment, they were staring at each other, but she smoothened her expression and they both turned away. _Don't get involved, Amon. She's a business partner, if that._

* * *

Emi's house was populated by twin boys that looked somewhere between awkward and uncaring. Amon already knew he was in for a trip.

"Aunt Emi, who's this?" one of the boys asked.

"Takeo. He's a local."

The boys grinned. "Why'd you bring him home?" the boy Amon assigned as Twin One asked.

"We're going to work together tomorrow and he need a place to stay. Did you guys do your homework?"

The boys exchanged a look and Twin Two spoke. "We'll convince Mom to make komodo chicken if you do our writing."

Amon smirked, and Emi glared at the boys. "Get going or I'll tell your mom about why her garden was ruined yesterday."

The boys ran off, leaving Emi to roll her eyes. "The boys are Ran and Kyo. Eleven years old and no hope in sight."

"Sounds about right."

She invited him to take a seat. "I haven't seen you around before yesterday. I'm gonna guess that you came back broke?" He nodded. "Dreams lost?" Another nod. "Aww, well, think about it this way: if it failed as it did so much that you had to come home, it probably wasn't meant to be."

If he wasn't in the presence of a near stranger, he would've blurted out something along the lines of "My revolution _was_ meant to be!"

"I feel like we're underestimating the Triad," Amon stated instead.

She shrugged. "You're a chi blocker who could work with difficult circumstances. I see no issues."

"And if we find some difficulty?"

"Trust me, Takeo. I know what I'm doing when it comes to these guys. It's their fault my sister's husband is dead and the kids live with me. I've been preparing for this."

He wasn't sure whether or not to believe her. On one hand, he'd seen how tenacious she was, yet he wasn't sure if this was an emotional or tactile endeavor. From personal experience, he knew fighting skills were lost when emotions got in the way. But, before he could decide, the boys came rushing back into the room.

"What now?" Emi demanded.

"Is Takeo a firebender too?" Twin One, or was it Twin Two, asked.

Emi smiled. "Takeo here's the most amazing firebender I've ever seen. Spent years learning his discipline and respects it more than the sun gods themselves."

Amon glared at the floor. _Just wait one day and you can leave this insanity._

Twin One/Twin Two made some kind of battle cry and ran at Amon, calling, "For the United Nations!"

Without looking, Amon thrust his fingers into the boy's shoulders in two motions and reset his hand to a resting position on his knee. Emi's eyes widened.

Twin One/Twin Two slouched over in confusion as his arms hung like two limp noodles. The shocked boy waved his body back and forth, amazed that his arms didn't move. Wonder crept into his eyes. "That wasn't firebending. What did you do?"

Emi watched with her legs crossed and hands cusped together, the situation lightened by the boy's naivety. Twin Two/Twin One ran up to his bug eyed brother and smacked his arms around. Although Amon still hadn't gotten their names straight (and probably never would), the distinction between the brothers was clear. "Do the same thing to me!"

Amon looked up, but Emi answered, "Kyo, you don't _want _to be chi blocked." She patted Amon's back, causing him to fully straighten up. "He's a non-bender; I was just teasing him." She leaned in and whispered in his ear. "Did you really just chi block an eleven-year-old?" Her voice was playful.

"That or he's a _bloodbender_!" a twin said.

Amon froze at that, despite it being so preposterous.

"Kyo, he's not a bloodbender!" Emi protested, pulling away from Amon.

"I bet he is." Kyo picked up a glass of water with intention to simply hand it to Amon, but hit it against his brother's arm, leaving the water to splash onto Amon's feet. "Okay…maybe not."

Amon turned to Emi. "If you turn the wild one around, I can make him paralyzed for an hour."

Emi glanced at her nephews. "I would, but my sister would kill me."

"Did you know Hama?" Ran asked Amon. Amon furrowed his brow; how old did he look? He shook his head. "Did you ever meet a bloodbender?"

"I met a worse bloodbender than Hama." The boys' eyes turned the size of moons, and even Emi's eyes seemed to light up. He couldn't identify an exact reason, but something about this place felt like home. Or, maybe not home—he couldn't remember his real home clearly—but some place of comfort. He liked how these boys were non-benders, yet clearly weren't scared to face a potential bender. They treated their firebending aunt like a flighty older sister. If they ever wanted to, they'd make excellent Equalists. Maybe he could entertain the family, just this once. "His name was Tarrlok, and he could bloodbend without a full moon."

"Did you fight him?" the rambunctious twin asked.

Amon nodded, feeling the first burst of pride in his work since taking the Avatar's bending. "He had me for a second, but I broke his hold and stopped him from bending."

"Like permanently?"

Two days after dying was not a good time to out himself. "No, just like what I did with you."

"And you're not a bender?"

Amon shook his head. "Chi blocking is one of the most powerful disciplines because no one can resist it and anyone can learn it. You boys ought to learn it too."

"So you just hit people?" Kyo asked.

"Kind of."

Kyo full force punched Amon's arm. "Are you chi blocked?"

Amon, for the boy's sake, rubbed his muscled bicep as if it was his limb that was throbbing, not the boy's hand. Emi smiled at him, and he quickly looked back to the boy. "No."

* * *

**A/N: **Hope everyone enjoyed! I'm still not sure how this chapter turned out, and I might keep editing it. Does Amon's character still seem consistent? This story is really about him losing himself and how he tries to hold fast to his old life, so hopefully his struggles will come out cleanly.

Thanks so much for reading and please, if there's any comment or suggestion you have to improve the story, feel free to drop a review.


	4. The Job

**A/N: **I'm still thrilled with how many people have been reading this story and giving comments. For my first fanfic, this is doing pretty well, and thanks for the support! I hope everyone enjoys this chapter.

* * *

Amon still had a hard time believing it, but he woke up with actual bruises the next morning from the twins punching and jabbing places they assumed were pressure points.

"Okay, let me try one more time," one of the twins said as Amon attempted to eat his breakfast.

In the purest form, he did want these rambunctious non-benders to be able to chi block one day, so he'd been letting them try the techniques out. He held his free arm out, assuming he'd try to put a bruise on top of the spot he or his brother had hit the night before.

"Fire chakra!"

The boy then jabbed his ring, middle, and index fingers into Amon's gut. While Amon attempted to push through the pain and not lose what breakfast he'd already eaten, Emi turned in a rage to her nephews.

"If you brats keep injuring Tak, I'm going to give you the punishment of a lifetime!" she yelled, flames appearing in her hands.

The boys took a step back, and Emi glanced at Amon.

"What're you gonna do to us?" one of the twins asked.

She let her flames die.

"No, I'll do something worse: Tak will chi block you two and we'll tie you to the chimney, where only your mother will be willing to pull you two down."

The boys turned to Amon in hopes of someone siding with them. All they got was an apathetic glance, partially from Amon's lack of experience with punishing children and his mind already elsewhere.

"I don't think Takeo would side with a firebender," Ran said. "Right?"

Without thinking in context, he nodded to the boys, making Emi's expression darken.

"This isn't over." She grabbed Amon's arm. "C'mon, let's go find you some clothes."

Amon had to admit, getting new clothes was a simple but tremendous pleasure. Wearing only the simplest layer of his armor felt wrong, and the black rags had done nothing but increase the heat on him as well as gotten dirty and sweaty.

After a quick bath, Amon pulled on the clothing presented to him without protest: a red shirt he pulled up his forearms, a light jacket and dark colored trousers that would be tucked into his knee-high boots.

"You look good," Emi commented.

The outfit was lighter than his made-for-his-fighting-style uniform he wore as the leader of the Equalists, and the red brought out the color in his eyes and contrasted well against his pale skin. He felt like a member of the Fire Nation again.

* * *

Amon found a place outside to settle down to think, swiftly avoiding any more chi blocking lessons. This would be his first true test of his skills without Koh. Fighting one person at a time was child's play; now he'd be against several opponents at once, with no shield whatsoever.

He thought back to the reflection he saw in the water this morning. His face still only had that one red splotch. Why would he have thought that Koh was going to take his whole face? He said that, didn't he?

Was it possible that Amon had heard him wrong, or misinterpreted his riddle? What if Koh giving him his face back was the spirit's way of pushing him to regain all that he lost? Was it possible to regain his extreme chi blocking abilities?

It had to be possible.

There had to be some human part to the inhuman abilities Koh had given him. Koh didn't just _not_ take faces without purpose. That had to be the purpose the spirit had given him. If he could regain his abilities, he could stand back up as the leader of the Equalists, or start a completely new movement all together.

He glanced at the front door of Emi's home. All he needed was the money from this robbery.

He never thought of himself as a criminal, and it was strange to consider himself on a similar platform as the gangsters whose bending he'd taken. Of course, it was quite a bit different, but somehow still left a tiny crack in his pride.

Then he thought about who he was stealing from. The Moon Monster Triad. Pure locals, having taken their name from the supposed monster that terrorized the town seventy or so years ago, stopped only a couple mysterious kids who were later confirmed to have been Avatar Aang and his friends. The young firebenders were utterly ruthless, freeloading and going to extremes to get what they wanted. Amon's father had been brave, and he lost not just his own life, but his wife's life and his son's face.

He wondered if any of the men who killed his family would be still working in the gang. He took a meditative position and tried to clear his mind. It was distinctly an Air Nomad practice, but Amon found it comforting. He took several deep breaths and emptied his mind of every vengeful thought in his racing mind.

He stopped meditating when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Ready, Tak?" Emi asked.

Amon stepped to his feet. "Yes." They managed to walk across the town before Amon realized what he really didn't want to acknowledge. "The summertime slightly enhances firebending, doesn't it?"

"Believe so."

Amon took a slow breath, resisting the urge to lash out from his own anger at himself. He flexed his fingers, as if there was some actual technique to preparing to chi block.

"Who's on defense and who's going in?" Amon asked.

"Well, which would suit you better? Do you prefer stealth or full on attacks?"

"I could do either, but they wouldn't expect the chi blocking."

"How good are you with lightening? You know how to deal with it?"

He thought back to the Avatar's firebender friend and Lightning Bolt Zolt. "Yes, I'm adept at not electrocuting myself."

"I'd recommend you stay back and I'll grab the money."

Amon didn't mind the arrangement; it meant he didn't have to do on the spot thinking just to figure out where the money was. "Where will I meet you?"

She gave him a dismissive wave; maybe this Emi wasn't as tactile as he wished to believe. Swallowing his doubts, he allowed her to lead them to the base for the Moon Monster Triad. The building was the biggest in the town: three stories and the length of two village houses combined. Otherwise, it had the off white walls and red roofs of every other building in the town.

"Ready?" Emi confirmed before she pushed the front door open.

"We're not doing a stealth maneuver?"

"Sounds like it!"

Emi shoved the doors open and was met by about six Triad members lounging around, girls fanning them. One of them smiled upon Emi's entrance. "Finally decided to join us, Emi?"

Emi smiled. "Not today."

She sent one quick blast toward the guy standing in front of stairs and went barreling past him. The man whom originally addressed Emi seethed and ran after her, leaving with an action call to the remaining Triad members in the room. Mimicking firebender stances he'd observed, he waited for the attacks.

The benders in the room were all young, in their early twenties. Judging by the overly dramatic arm thrusts, he guessed they weren't disciplined benders. This was what had killed his family? _How the mighty have fallen_, he thought, thoroughly disappointed that he wasn't fighting a real threat.

Effortlessly, he wove his way through fire blast after fire blast. Picking out who appeared to be the best bender among the group, he slid up right to his face and, and when he tried to blast him at point blank, flipped around, so his back was all but touching the bender's.

With a huff, the bender kicked a line of fire behind him. Amon stepped forward, narrowly avoiding the fire. He let out a low growl of pain, causing the firebender to turn around.

And, as he did, Amon showered him in several jabs, causing him to fall to the ground.

In the moment of realization, Amon took jabs at everyone man he could, throwing down four of the six men a minute later. Flicking a stray hair out of his eyes, he studied his remaining opponents: one bulky guy with an angry glimmer in his eyes and a sheepish looking boy barely past manhood.

He allowed the bulky one a near point blank shot that a quick side step avoided.

Well, he thought he avoided it, anyway. He clenched his teeth when a soft burning sparked on the skin of his shoulder. _Just like with Koh_, he thought as he swallowed his grimace and continued to approach. The determination in the Triad member's eyes dimmed for just a moment. Amon stepped forward, but threw himself backward when the Triad member sent a wall of fire in front of him. While the fire died, Amon moved in a half moon shape to where he was perfectly behind the firebender, and took him down.

The fire vanished, revealing the fallen firebender and Amon, still looking as if he wasn't even breaking a sweat. The sheepish firebender stared at him with big eyes, and Amon smiled. Amon lifted his arm, and the firebender broke down.

"No, no, please, please don't paralyze me!" he pleaded, falling to his knees.

_Looks like chi blocking is a novelty here_, Amon mused as he moved into the next room to find Emi.

Once he stepped into the room, he caught himself in the middle of a scuffle between Emi and the original Triad member who ran after her. Amon attempted to jump in, but Emi motioned for him to stay out of it, instead throwing him the bag of money.

Ignoring the small part of him that wanted to run off with the money, he observed his partner in crime while she fought. She fought with a combination of non-traditional firebending moves, yet performed them with grace and precision. It was almost earthbender-like, with minimal dodging and lots of forward attacks. The Triad member seemed to be trying to tire her, constantly moving and performing defensive moves with the occasional offense for show. Amon would watch anxiously, tossing either jumping into the fight or being wary of their distance around his mind in indecision.

He shot his senses back into overdrive when a fire blast from Emi nearly hit him. She passed over an apology, proceeding to pummel the Triad member in subsequent blows. Using a shield as a final resort, the attacks sent him backward.

In fact, right into Amon, who had moved near the doorway. He glanced at Emi, still with that unyielding determination in her features, and made his decision. He stepped forward to meet the Triad member, and delivered his usual jabs. He resisted a smile when the bender fell. Emi smiled as she wiped her brow.

"Nice job. We'd make a good team," she said.

Amon shrugged. "One good maneuver doesn't tell that much. How are we going to divide this?"

Emi's eyes widened. "Tak, behind you!"

Amon whipped around, but didn't see anything. The moment of confusion only lasted a few seconds, soon followed by a digging pain in his back. The hit was so perfect that the pain was disorientating, and couldn't move when he tried. Not that he had much time to try; the following seconds were spent with Amon's head barreling toward the solid wood wall.

* * *

Amon regained consciousness while lying flat on the floor, his first observations being a constant breeze and the smoothness of wood. As his senses crept back, he took the discomfort in his stomach as slight motion sickness. Slowly, he used his hands to push himself up, his back still throbbing, not to mention the headache.

He was half surprised to find Emi captaining the speedboat that's floor he lay on. "Spirits, asking me on a boat trip could've saved us a lot of pain," Amon muttered as he held his head, faintness edging through his senses.

Emi chuckled. "I figured you'd be too stubborn." She kicked a bottle toward him, unable to leave the wheel. He reached for it and took a few sips, the water quelling the thirst he hadn't even realized he had. "Now, please refrain from the basic accusations." She switched into a bad impression of Amon's deep voice. "What the hell are you doing? Why'd you kidnap me? Are you crazy?" End impression. "I'm on a boat." It must've been his head, because he swore she said "Amon a boat." "I'm not crazy, and I think you'd benefit from us teaming up. I'm trying to run away from my life, and for all your cash, you just made major enemies with the controls of that island."

Anger welled inside of him. "You knew that by dragging me in I could never go home? That place was the only home I had!"

Perhaps still tender from the knock out, Amon began to see black dots across the bright blue of the ocean and sky. Feeling weak, he sunk his head into his arms, but the blackness didn't stop until it covered his vision and took over his conscious.

_"I know, I really ought to stop baiting you," Koh's smooth voice said as the centipede form wrapped around Amon's tired form. "It's rather cruel, you know." His breath still smelled vile, but Amon wasn't going to fall for it this time. "But…I couldn't help it. You were just so pathetic looking."_

Amon jerked out of the dream-like state, senses fully into the physical world, but still dull. He had to physically remember that he was angry.

Emi snickered. "You were living in the forest; I probably did you a favor. Now come on, where's your adventurousness? We're gonna go to the Earth Kingdom, maybe even the United Nations."

A twinge of dread joined the rage. "I wouldn't go to the United Nations; they're in the middle of a civil collapse from the Equalists. Republic City's under siege."

Her eyes flickered with uncertainty, and Amon couldn't stand it. He didn't leave being the leader of Equalists for becoming some self-taught firebender's slave. The blackness took hold of him and pulled him under once more.

_"Don't fear, young one. I have other motives. You want your powers back, don't you?" Amon nodded. "You can get them back. Prove to me that you're worth a second chance."_

_"What about my face?"_

_Koh's expression etched into the Noh mask changed to confusion. "What about your face?"_

_If Amon pushed the subject, he'd surely show some emotion. "How do I gain my power back?"_

He resurfaced, poured a bit of water into his hand, and rubbed the back of his neck. He really ought to take his jacket off; maybe he was getting heatstroke. When he looked over at Emi, her expression was still smug. Shaking his fatigue and confusion away, he decided he would end this little clash, and he refused to accept failure.

"That's it! I'm tired of listening to you and all your crazy plans," Amon said as he forced himself to his feet, despite the pain. "You obviously have no idea what you're doing, so we're going to let a more capable planner take hold of our little 'adventure.' We're not going to the United Nations, and that's final."

Emi raised an eyebrow. "Then where are we going, Captain?"

Now the hallucinations played in the back of his mind, as if he were crazy.

_"You reach to me, reopen everything the mask closed when it broke. Go to the swamp…"_

_"What swamp?"_

_"_The_ swamp. The only one with a strong enough spiritual hold to reach me."_

Amon, in the moment of anger and desperation for controls on his own life, realized what Koh had meant in these visions: the Foggy Swamp, the swamp countless men had reached enlightenment in. "The Foggy Swamp."

Emi still didn't look convinced. "And, dare I ask what we'll do in a giant overgrown tree full of backwards people?"

"Spiritual experience."

Emi would admit that she was not spiritual in the least. But, it wasn't her old life, and there was still so much to learn from Takeo. "Okay then. Where do we go?"

Amon attempted to take control and walk over to Emi, but pain shot through his back. He groaned and returned to a sitting position. "Give me a map." A map slid over to him. "Southeast. When we get closer, I'll give you more specific instructions." Cautiously, he lowered himself back into a lying position. "Karma better pay for your stupidity in injuring me."

She laughed. "I'm sorry about your back. It was supposed to uh, chi block you."

Amon wanted to roll his eyes. "If you keep obedient, maybe I'll show you how to do it right."

"Ooh, goodie! I get lessons from Master Tak the Chi Blocker. Crawl over here so I can give you some pain killers."

Considering how he felt, painkillers were enough to drag himself over to the bow of the boat. "You're not going to knock me out again?"

"I have no reason now."

She handed him another bottle. He uncapped it and sniffed it. "This smells like straight liquor."

Emi smiled. "Alcohol is the best numbing agent!"

Amon blinked. "You didn't bring any medicine, did you?"

She shook her head. "Food, water, and blankets were at the top of my list." Amon continued to stare at her. "The medicine lady was out."

"Pathetic."

"So now the guy who can't make a fire—"

"Not that!" He took a deep breath. "It's been a long few days."

He lifted the liquor to his lips and took a healthy gulp. "Aww, tell me about it."

He could sense her joking tone, but wouldn't have talked even if he was in a good mood and she was talking with a life-or-death serious tone. He responded with a quirked eyebrow.

She turned back to the ocean. "I'll tell you if I need anything."

About an hour passed in silence, Amon replaying his meeting/hallucination with Koh over and over again.

"You mentioned the Equalists," Emi began.

Amon's attention fell on her. "Yeah."

"Did you live in Republic City before this?"

"Yeah."

"Do you believe in what the Equalists believe?"

He couldn't make his associations too obvious. "They have destructive means of getting their points across, but I wholeheartedly believe in their message. Non-benders need more representation and power in the world. It was sad seeing how my kind were treated; it was if we were animals and the benders were herders."

"I have a hard time believing that. If it weren't for the Triad guys, benders and non-benders live harmoniously together. Bending isn't the source of all evil; humans who abuse are."

"Bloodbending. You know the legend of Hama, of its illegality, its benders. What good could possibly come out of bloodbending?"

"Well, okay, so maybe bloodbending is pure evil, but the other disciplines can be lethal _and_ improve life. Take uh…firebending."

Amon resisted a smile. "Firebending? All firebending has ever caused is death and destruction."

"And life." She created a small flame. "The wisest firebenders explain that firebending is about the life the fire creates, and bending it is like holding a life in your hands. It's born, it breathes, and if not taken care of, it dies. And hey, when you're freezing to death, generating fire can come in handy." Her eyes fell on Amon's scar. "Not all benders are like Hama and the Triad members who gave you that scar."

* * *

**A/N: **I guess if I had to divide this fic into three acts, this was the end of Act I. How is the story going? Do you like this interpretation of Amon? If the Koh parts were confusing, don't feel bad because they're supposed to.

Oh, and if anyone's looking for some more work of mine, I recently posted a one shot AmonxAsami fic.


	5. Treading Water

**A/N: **Hello, all. Just a quick note: thank you so much to everyone who is reading/reviewing/favorite-ing/alerting this story. It truly means a lot to me.

As well, I hope everyone is excited to hear the news about LOK season 2 and next two seasons. :) Even though our good friend Amon cannot join us (I don't think? Where do humans in this world go after death?), there's still a possibility that Koh could wreck havoc like we all want him to. :D

* * *

With their remaining boat trip spent in relative silence, Amon began to tolerate Emi. When the atmosphere was light enough for conversation, she'd tell him about how she'd always dreamed of seeing the world. Even though she claimed she couldn't make a coherent plan to save her life, Amon could tell that she orchestrated a vast majority of his capture: how the firebender moved that made him unsure, how he ended up backed into a solid surface, and made him trust her. If he weren't already embarrassed that he'd allowed it, he would've admired her for her work.

When the boat reached the shore and the edge of the Foggy Swamp, both were astounded by its sheer size and density, but only Emi made it evident.

"This place is way bigger than the little forests back home," she said.

Amon smiled slightly. "What were you expecting?"

She shrugged. "I have no idea. Uh, how far in are we gonna go? I mean, unless we make friends with the locals or you actually let me make us a fire, we have limited supplies."

Amon slid his hands behind his back. "We'll go in and see how far we can get. My goal is to reach the heart of the swamp."

She pulled her hair up, already sensing the muggy atmosphere. "I really hope you know what you're doing."

Amon gave her a dismissive wave, packed some supplies into a pack, slung it over his back, and started into the swamp.

"Wait, what about the other supplies?"

"Cover it. I'm sure there's animals in here who'll want it."

Emi stiffened. "What…_kind _of animals?"

Amon tensed, moving his hands from clasped together to one gripping the other's wrist. "Swamp animals? I'm a native of the Fire Nation who traveled from city to city my whole life! I don't know."

Emi raised her eyebrows. "That's the most emotion I've ever seen on you." She smiled. "We're progressing!"

He kept walking, hoping Emi couldn't tell how annoyed he was that water was already soaking into his boots. The farther he went, the more he began to rely on stepping on the sprawling plants slightly above the wet floor.

"The last time I saw balance that good was at a circus," Emi commented as she watched Amon walk effortlessly on the couple inch thick branches hours into their walk.

"Thanks," he grunted as he started scaling up a tree.

"Where're you going?"

"Trying to find out where we are."

Amon climbed higher in order to avoid hearing her response. "What do you mean find out where we are?" Amon ignored her, and kept climbing. "Keo, wait!"

Amon took a strong grip on the tree and looked down. From all the times he'd used the airships, heights weren't a fear of his. "What?"

"Just…be careful. Since you can't fly, if you fall, it'll be," she made a falling and spattering motion.

"I'm fine. Keep going forward."

A bit loopy from nothing but a few scraps of food, Amon felt a tiny sense of fun he hadn't felt in years well up inside him. There was a system of branches that twisted around the area and landed on the floor Emi was walking toward. Balancing himself, he stepped onto the branch and let the lack of friction shoot him forward.

Forgetting himself, he let a smile cross his lips as the wind whipped his hair back. He could hardly remember who'd taught him his footwork, but it improved so much since his time as a teenager. When he let his mind wander, he could remember how someone had described his techniques as airbender-like. In that moment, he didn't mind that he was being compared to a bender. As he neared the bottom, he stepped off and kept a few more steps, subsequently scaring Emi and knocking her off her feet.

"Holy—where did you come from?" Emi demanded as she pulled herself out of the mud. Amon simply smiled, his hands still behind his back. A few seconds passed, and she smiled as well. "You move really gracefully. It's Air Nomad-like."

He instantly remembered who had originally made the comment: none other than Emi herself. Back to being offended. "Dodging techniques and being light on my feet are not restricted to Air Nomads."

Emi rolled her eyes, wiped some mud off her, and flicked it at Amon. "I'm not saying you're an Air Nomad or learned from one, but it looks like that's where the influence came from. I guess it's what they teach non-benders, how to dodge attacks." She smirked. "After all, if non-bender can't chi block like you, how can one fight?"

Amon took a deep breath, flicking the bait aside. "Pick up the pace, Emi."

"And the first time you said my name! This swamp idea was your best yet."

The pair walked for hours, pushing past fatigue, humidity far worse than even that of the Fire Nation, and hunger and thirst that couldn't be sated with rationed supplies.

"Spirits, it's time to forget decency," Emi breathed as she rolled up her pants and completely removed her shirt, leaving her in a wrap around her breasts.

Amon watched with a combination of shock and an embarrassing amount of arousal.

"No one said decency was a bad thing," Amon commented, hoping the lighting was bad in case he was blushing or something.

Emi laughed. "I didn't realize you were so shy. I can…" she look down at her now swamp muck covered shirt, "…not put my clothes back on."

Amon took a few steps back. "It's okay."

She studied him. "Keo, what's wrong?"

He disappeared into the swamp before she had a chance to catch up. He dipped his hands into the nearby river and splashed it onto his face. _Look how close you were to losing it, all over a firebender girl you hardly know. _He wiped the water off and sighed. These feelings were natural; she was pretty and he was a man. He shouldn't be angry with himself for something he couldn't control, and would simply have to be more self-aware. He began climbing up the trees. _She's just a pretty girl, Amon. There are thousands of prettier ones, ones who aren't benders…_

Amon stiffened when he felt a presence hidden among the foliage.

"_Hello, Amon_."

He took a deep breath, and could even guess that he was wearing his black and white Noh mask, and saw staring at Amon's back. "Hello, Koh."

"_You're not doing too well for yourself, are you_?"

"I'm just following your orders."

Koh hesitated. "_Why don't you turn around, young one_?"

Amon shut his eyes, turned around, and opened them. Koh didn't give him much breathing room—perhaps a few inches—and his black centipede form wriggled in an almost casual dance. Yes, he was wearing his black and white Noh mask face.

"Now what?"

Koh raised an eyebrow. "_In terms of what? I'd mostly suggest you tend to your human needs._" One of his stick-like arms brushed Amon's cheek. "_You look a bit faint_."

Amon took a deep breath. "I feel fine. I've taught myself how to ignore humanity, even in myself."

"_Mmm, how fascinating. Still so tough, aren't you_?" He smiled. "_I'm glad to hear this_."

Amon swallowed. "What game are you playing with my face? You described the face of my childhood, yet I still have the only slightly blemished face I've worn in my current age."

Koh's face changed to a chid's face, with big gold eyes, thin yet beautifully crafted pink lips, slightly arched, dark eyebrows, pale skin, and black hair that was cut shorter, but still waved in the breeze. The face smiled wolfishly. "_I always appreciated your addition to my collection, you know_."

"I thought you took my burned face. That was me before."

Koh nodded. "_It looks good on me, doesn't it_?"

"Koh?"

The face changed, this time to a face Amon had only seen in his nightmares as a boy: his mother's. "_Why didn't you save me, Amon_?" Koh asked in a mocking voice.

Amon gasped, and fell backwards.

Although not pleasant, the mud he landed in after having been standing on a thin tree branch woke him out of his trance. Panicked, he threw his hands onto his face, making sure he still had it. Hair, eyes, nose, ears, burned cheek, chin—yes, it was all there. He took a deep breath; spiritual places like the swamp probably caused hallucinations. That still didn't explain what happened on the boat, but at least he still had his face.

When he found Emi again, she didn't seem to have faired well without him.

"Where did you go? This…this swamp, spirits, it's got a mind of its own. I don't even—" she said as soon as he walked into her view.

"I just fell ten feet. Please don't," Amon replied.

"Where'd you go?"

Amon stopped. "Uh," he looked around, "no idea." There was a rustling in the plants, and Emi all but dug her nails into Amon's arm. "So you can go up against the leader of the Moon Monster Triad like it's nothing, but nature scares you?"

"It could be—"

An awkward looking creature with a chicken's body and a possum's head stepped out of the brush.

"Is that food?" Emi whispered in Amon's ear.

Amon went back to aware of his rumbling stomach. "Looks like it."

As quick as she took the Triad leader, Emi shot several fire blasts at the possum-chicken. The animal was lucky enough to dodge the blows, and went darting away. As any predator would, Emi went running after it, all logic left in the dust.

"Wait, Emi, you can't go shooting fire into a mystic swamp!" Amon called as he pursued Emi and the possum-chicken.

The chase was chaotic, with Amon's mind constantly several places at once: one part keeping him from tripping on the uneven ground, one making sure he didn't hit a stray branch, and one keeping his eyes on Emi. The feeling was oddly nostalgic, like the chases he used to instigate with the Avatar and his enemies back in the Equalist days. Except, of course, now the chases had nothing more significant than a chicken-possum at the finish line. Luckily, the swamp's moist plants didn't set fire when Emi missed the panicked animal.

By the time Emi and Amon burst into a clearing by the river, the possum chicken was already struggling a sack.

"Hey! That's our food!" Emi yelled at the small gathering of Swamp People who'd caught the possum-chicken.

A Swamp Tribesman with a full face of dark stubble and a bit of a gut stepped forward. "Sorry, folks. Didn't realize this was yer dinner."

Emi thrust her arm out for the sack. "Thank you for your cooperation, kind Swamp Man."

"Emi, don't bother—" Amon began to recommend, but someone caught his eyes.

Kind of tall, very fit, with a head of lots of black-purple hair that sagged downward into a messy curtain in his face. Sunburns beneath stark white skin. A major frown on his face.

Amon's brow crinkled. Was that who he thought it was?

Could it really be…he hadn't seen him since that night at the arena, but he'd heard some funny rumors about where he'd ended up.

Amon shook his head.

And he was in a Foggy Swamp Tribe uniform. No pants, unless a leaf skirt counted as pants, a giant leaf on top of his sad black hair, his torso bare and almost revealing too much, and clear discomfort capping off the entire look.

"Tahno?" Amon finally blurted out.

* * *

**A/N: **A-haha, I told you guys there would be some brief cameos. Yes, Tahno in a leaf hat!

Oh, and on a separate note, in my writing ahead for this story, I realized that it might be safer to give this fic an M rating, which I'll change when I post chapter 6. In case anyone's curious, it's M for sexual situations and some brief graphic descriptions of violence.


	6. A Warning

**A/N: **Whew, sorry for such a long update! I promise, no matter the update gap, this fic will be finished!

Just so everyone knows, the story is not rated M for this chapter in particular. I'd say the M stuff comes in around chapter 9. Hope everyone enjoys Tahno's little cameo and this chapter as a whole. Once again, thanks to everyone for all the support. :)

* * *

For a moment, both Amon and Tahno just stared at each other, Tahno completely clueless. As far as the former Wolfbat could tell, he was staring at a younger adult aged Fire Nation guy with a scar, and something very familiar about his presence.

"Oh lookie here, Tahno! These folks know you," Lu, the man who'd first captured the possum-chicken said.

Tahno tried not to cringe. "Uhh, do _I_ know _you_?" he asked Amon, who'd shaken away his shocked expression.

Amon knew it would serve him no good to let Tahno know who he was, yet there was still something about the former waterbender that caught Amon's attention. It was…the way the young man stood. As opposed to the perfect posture he recalled from the arena, Tahno stood with a slouch that cut several inches off his height, with his head always slightly bowed. He had been stripped of more than his bending over the past few weeks—his dignity and brashness was gone as well. Even if he did figure out he was Amon, there was no way he'd react in a way that'd be threatening to him.

Amon smiled. "I'd think so. I like the new look, Tahno. It's very pure."

_Stop, Amon! You're underestimating him. What if he isn't the scared little boy you think he is? You're less powerful too._ Despite it all, he hadn't felt this kind of power and influence since he was leading the Equalist attack, and the feeling was addicting.

Tahno's glass blue eyes widened. "You're…Amon?"

The Foggy Swamp tribe didn't seem moved, but Emi's expression turned to shock. "Amon?" she parroted.

Amon nodded. "Oh, how the strong fall. You know, it doesn't take this much effort to get your bending back. How's that going for you, by the way?"

Tahno took a step back. "You're not Amon. Amon wears a mask—"

"To hide a burn." He motioned toward his cheek. "So, how's that bending?"

Tahno looked down. "I figured it out. I can bend now."

Amon nodded. "You're impressing me. I never thought you'd be the one to unlock it, ever."

Tahno felt a bit insulted. "Why not?"

Amon took the back of Tahno's neck. The suddenness of the move had Tahno's head reeling back to memories he hoped he'd never have to experience again. For a moment, even Amon could imagine himself back as the masked man. "This chakra right here deals with fear. The more fearful you are during the process, the harder it is to unlock your bending." He chuckled. "And, well, I imagine you blocked the memory. In case you forgot, you, Tahno, captain of the Pro Bending Championship for four years running, went onto your knees and begged me to let you keep your bending. You said you'd do anything to keep your abilities." Sweat was running down Tahno's neck; Amon had guessed correctly in terms of his fear. He lightly pushed Tahno away. "Lucky, I suppose."

"How are you—you're—you're human. How is that possible?"

Amon turned back to Tahno, a couple feet from the river. "What about it? Too ashamed of yourself now that you realize that you were bested by a non-bender, a human nonetheless?"

Amon realized seconds too late that the cool feeling crawling up his legs was swamp water being bent into tentacle like forms. The moment he thought to escape, he was thrust backwards and into the dark water. The swamp water stung his eyes and filled every cavity—ears, nose, and mouth. Pushed deeper and deeper, unable to struggle, he was relieved when the pain from his burning lungs and aching ears cut out as his mind faded to black.

On the surface, the tribesmen and Emi had turned to organized chaos. While one younger tribesman held Emi back from jumping in, another several subdued Tahno.

Amon stopped being pushed down, but still didn't gain consciousness. His clothing had turned him into a living weight, slowly continuing his descent. A black, centipede like form suddenly wrapped itself around Amon's falling form, and its masked face smiled as it watched Amon sink.

"Your pride makes you weak, young one. You put me to shame today," Koh muttered, casually lowering himself with Amon. "You don't deserve the vast amount of blessings I've given you."

Once the tribesmen had subdued Tahno, Lu moved to the river's edge and worked to find the sinking body.

"Just like fishin'," he chuckled to Emi, who was still freaking out.

Using his bending, he grabbed onto Amon's body and began pulling him to the surface.

Koh wasn't disturbed by Amon's sudden lack of sinking. "Hopefully you'll learn soon." He brushed one of his arms against Amon's head, forming a deep red burn mark around his ear, mangling the cartilage and the burning the small bone structures into uselessness. When Amon was propelled upwards, Koh disappeared.

An overwhelming amount of relief washed over Emi as she watched Amon's body shoot out of the water and be placed on the banks. A female tribe member stepped forward and waved her hand over Amon's chest.

"He's gonna be tasting swamp for a couple years, with the amount of water he took in," she commented as she pulled a fair amount of water from his lungs out his mouth.

The former leader of the Equalists twitched to life, tossed his head to the side, and threw up the remaining swamp water.

"He's alright, got the dangerous water outta him," Lu said to Emi as she struggled to go to him.

"Why did you guys do that? Amon's the one who took my bending! You have no idea what you just did!" Tahno protested to the tribesmen.

Lu put his hand on Tahno's shoulder. "What you did was not right, and whether or not he is a bad man don't matter." Amon groaned and rested his head on the ground. "You sure hit him hard, though." Lu frowned. "I'm almost unhappy that your bending's improved. Thought we talked about usin' yer powers only for good."

Emi couldn't believe what she was hearing. She ran right up to Tahno and got within inches of him. "Is this about him taking your bending? Did it even occur to you that you punished him for taking your bending with _waterbending_?"

"I know I don't know who you are, but you've been played, sweetheart. Do you even know who Amon is?" Tahno replied.

Even though the heavy clothing and his weak body didn't work well together, Amon pushed himself into a sitting position with his upper body. "Emi, he doesn't—" An awful feeling—perhaps even worse than the sensations of drowning—fell over Amon as he realized that his hearing was seriously impaired. _Your ears are filled with water still_, he reasoned.

Emi moved over to Amon, pulling him into an embrace he didn't have enough energy to mind. "Em, help me up."

"You almost drowned. I don't think you should be walking."

Humiliation at his public display of helplessness already gnawed at his mind, and he was in no mood to give them more material. He'd survived being shot by lightning at point blank range; water should not be a serious problem. "Tahno's lucky I'm not returning his little trick."

Tahno smirked. "It's not like you'd be able to."

Amon needed no more information from the former Wolfbat; he knew that Amon was no longer a threat. With the last of his shredded pride, Amon pulled out a shuriken, stepped out of Emi's arms, and threw it toward Tahno's head.

The resulting movement landed Amon's face back in the mud, and the shuriken missed Tahno by a large margin. Amon looked around, but couldn't focus because the vertigo was so strong.

_What's wrong with me?_ he thought before submitting to a black out.

* * *

Amon awoke in what he assumed was one of the Foggy Swamp tribe's huts, a simple structure with mats for beds and blankets covering the floor.

"Good evening, sleepy head," Emi greeted as Amon slowly sat up.

"How long was I out?"

"Twenty minutes maybe. Long enough for the tribe to invite us to their camp for dinner. I told them you wanted to see something and Lu said he'd help you once you feel ready."

"Where's Tahno?"

Emi smiled. "The tribe's kind of mad at him, so last I heard, he was out collecting fire wood alone." She licked her lips. "Could you clarify some things for me?"

Amon never expected himself to fall so low that he couldn't even keep his identity a secret. Then again, he didn't expect to lose his powers either. "Whatever."

"So…your name's Amon and you can take away bending?"

Amon sighed. "Yes, my name is Amon and no, I cannot take away bending anymore."

"But you could?"

He nodded. "Tahno's got a story with him. He used to be a pro bender on one of the best teams in Republic City." He snorted. "He got there by cheating and using such lovely moves as headshots and stuffing rocks into water hits. I took away his bending in front of several thousand people. I guess he got it back."

Emi crinkled her brow. "Did you know it was reversible?"

He nodded. "But it was supposed to be difficult. I suppose it was difficult for Tahno, but I don't know." Amon paused. "So, you gonna jump ship now that you know who I am?"

She shook her head. "You being a successful extremist only makes me want to join you more."

It might've still been the water leaving his brain, but that made no sense to him. "What?"

"You heard me."

"No, no, say it again. You're a bender, yet you can just accept me like that? Was I the one who drowned or was it you?"

She laughed. "It was you. Look, you've made quite a reputation for yourself, especially just before you came to the village. In an awful way, it's like hanging out with a celebrity."

After years, Amon had grown used to the infamy. He could take people frowning or mutterings of distaste when his name was mentioned. Never once had be met a bender who liked bending yet didn't hate Equalists. There wasn't a middle ground, and there also plain wasn't a person who didn't fear the masked monster he'd created.

"You're not…scared of me?"

"No offense, but you stopped being scary the moment I realized that you already tried to take my bending the first night we met and failed. Now, if your shuriken had actually sliced itself into Tahno's brain, I'd be scared of you."

Embarrassment crawled back into the focal point of Amon's thoughts, and he fought to keep any signs of it off his face.

"Do you know where that shuriken is? It belonged to my father."

Emi chuckled. "You nearly died, and you're concerned with finding your family relics? So Fire Nation; it's family honor or death."

Amon resisted biting his lip. "I don't care about honor."

"Oh yeah, that's why tried to kill Tahno after he turned you into a dead human fish."

"I died?"

"Dunno." Amon tilted his head to the side and hit the side of his head, hoping some of the water would come out. "I mean, I don't know much about water healing and drowning and stuff, so maybe you didn't and were just unconscious. All I know is the healing waterbender took water from somewhere—I assume your lungs since you still had to puke up water—and you kind of came back to consciousness. Do you remember any of it?"

A bit of water spilled out of his right ear, leaving that pleasant warm feeling in his ear. He tilted his head the other way and repeated the process. "Not really, to be honest. I kinda wish I did. I feel like something happened down there, something important."

Emi raised an eyebrow. "What important thing can possibly happen under water? A fish tell you the meaning of life?" She glanced at Amon, who seemed to be injuring himself he was hitting himself so hard. "Tak—Amon, whatever your name is, I think the water would've come out by now!"

Amon's frowned. "I can't hear anything still. It has to still have water in it."

Emi moved over to him, and her eyes widened. "Uhh, Amon, is it possible for water to burn your ear off?"

His heart leapt into his throat. "What?"

"You have this pathetic bit of cartilage where your ear used to be, and the area is screaming red."

_Don't worry, little one. I'll make sure you can hear._

_Your injury looks really bad. Can you hear out of that bit of skin?_

_Deaf in one ear…_

Amon tucked his head into his knees as the lightheadedness washed over. Koh had been down there when he was unconscious. He finally took some of his face away. The spirit knew exactly where to hit him hard, and hadn't been bluffing all that time. He was partially deaf, just like that first moment before he fell unconscious.

Had he ever really been deaf? Koh had fixed his hearing even when he didn't fix the burned ear. What did living handicapped even entail? Did this new "injury" have something to do with why he couldn't stand before?

"Emi, was anyone in your family doctors?" Amon asked.

She shook her head. "Businessman and housewife."

"I think I lost half my hearing."

"I don't think so unless the pressure down there—"

"No. I know it happened. He—"

Tahno took that moment to march in with a couple possum-chicken kabobs. "Dinner."

"You've got some nerve," Amon grumbled.

Tahno smiled. "If you couldn't kill me at point blank range before, I don't think you can do it now."

"I'll show you." He reached into his pocket for the shuriken, but it was in Tahno's hand.

"I think you're missing something."

Emi stood. "I know I don't know you well, but Amon here's had a bad day, and I think out of basic human compassion, we could keep the taunting for tomorrow. Thanks." She took the food and the weapon. "Your hair would look better if you styled it."

He waved his hands, and a chunk of Amon's still soaking wet hair stood as if spiked up. Amon scowled, and Tahno replied, "Maybe I will start styling it again."

Once Tahno left, Emi handed Amon his weapon and the food and smirked. "Looks like the Foggy Swamp has discovered another form of waterbending: hairbending!" Amon smoothened his hair and took a bite of possum-chicken. "So uh…who is 'he' and why did he take away your hearing?"

Amon shook his head before swallowing. "I'm not gonna talk about it."

"How about a picture?"

Amon considered his options. "Fine."

He finished his dinner and used the stick to draw a rough picture of Koh between them. Emi's eyes flickered a moment of fear, but she otherwise remained composed.

"Looks like a nice guy," she commented. Amon nodded. "I was being sarcastic."

"I just can't believe he did it. I thought he loved me, cared for me. He said I would change the world. Just a month ago I had Republic City in my lap."

Emi shrugged. "It could always be worse. You could be Fire Lord Ozai and be known as the failure Fire Lord who lost the Hundred Year War to a twelve-year-old." In retrospect, that did make sense, but Amon figured the weight of the day was weighing down on his logic. He erased the picture of Koh and lay down. "Ooh, or you could be dead."

Why hadn't Koh just killed him yet? He failed the spirit, so why keep him around? He knew too much. Amon knew if that owl—spirits, what was his name?—Wan something, had killed for knowing too much. Amon could almost feel his veins freeze over. Did Koh's conspirators know that Amon had failed? If Koh didn't want to kill him, would they?

"Emi?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't dry me off while I sleep."

"Challenge accepted." He made eye contact, his gaze pleading. Her smile faded. "Okay."

* * *

A day or so passed before Amon's newfound patches of vertigo from the deafness were manageable enough for him to make his journey with Lu.

"If you don't mind, I think Tahno would benefit from this," Lu said that morning.

Amon didn't want to insult the man who saved him any more than he probably already had for not thanking him. "He won't interfere?"

Lu shook his head. "Tahno ought to learn to meditate."

Tahno and Amon exchanged a quick glance; Tahno had tried to use his bending to style his hair, but it wasn't nearly as perfect as he had it in Republic City. Tahno scowled at Lu and Amon pulled out his shuriken. Before Tahno had registered the weapon, it had pinned his hair to a nearby tree. Lu chuckled and Amon smirked.

"Looks like my aim's back to normal," Amon commented.

Tahno pulled the weapon out of his hair and threw it back at Amon. He dodged the attack, and the shuriken dug itself into another tree.

"Tahno, we don't try to injure the swamp," Lu chided. "Don't make me bring out the swamp monster like Huu used to." The tribesman winked.

There were a few moments when Amon had to sit down because of the vertigo, and he didn't risk walking on the vines like before, but the trip was otherwise pleasant. Lu reminded him a bit of other old men he'd met over the years who had knowledge of spirituality. Koh truly hadn't been lying when he said the world Amon lived in didn't have many spiritual people; when even the Avatar can't go into the Avatar State by age seventeen, it was clear that something was wrong.

Lu talked of the tribe's traditions, and how they viewed the entire world as connected, even life and death. Amon found himself unable to believe the man, but it was nice to hear a wise man's viewpoints.

"Can you explain the hallucinations?" Amon asked, paranoid that he'd seen Koh far too many times.

Lu nodded. "What'd you see?"

"An old friend, I guess."

"He dead?"

Amon shook his head. "Well…just…do you ever have spirits use this place as a portal between worlds?"

Lu's expression turned puzzled. "Suppose this is as good a place as any for spirits. Why? You got a spirit yer tryin' to call?"

Amon nodded. "Exactly."

"Well, you could try, but I can't guarantee anythin'."

Amon glanced at Tahno, who was dragging his feet behind them. "How did he get his bending back?"

"I taught 'im about illusions and illusion chakras and such. He unlocked it, and then he's slowly gettin' his bending back. I think his fear is still blocking him a bit. He'll get over it with time."

"Can you lead someone fully through unlocking chakras?"

Lu shook his head. "Only guy who can do that is some guru down in the Eastern Air Temple. When Avatar Aang came visit us, he mentioned that his guru had died and had taught some other guy how to do it for the next Avatar."

"How long ago was that?"

He shrugged. "Fifty or so years."

Amon frowned; the new guru might not even be alive, and getting to an Air Temple was still not an easy feat. "I'll try meditating for now. I think my spirit friend can help me with the other part I need done."

Lu nodded, and motioned toward the center of the swamp, a massive banyan-grove tree. Amon found a spot and let the world fall away. Once in the proper position, he focused on his breathing, letting his now limited amount of sounds leave his mind.

Hours passed, where Amon would go in and out of a meditative state, broken up by stray thoughts of doubt over the whole ordeal. By the time the sun set, Amon received a nudge to the shoulder.

"We should head back," Lu said. "Didja find what you were lookin' fer?"

Amon shook his head. "My friend and I'll be moving on tomorrow."

As Amon and the others walked back, he couldn't help but let his failure truly sink in. The Foggy Swamp, not only one of the strongest spiritual locations on the planet but also the place his master told him to go to, held no power in connecting him with Koh. It was so frustrating; Koh could just show up and mess with him whenever he liked, but it was all but impossible for Amon to cross into the Spirit World.

_It's not like you should be able to_, he reminded himself. _Only a handful have made it into the Spirit World. Maybe you should just accept—_

Amon shook the thought out of his head. He couldn't let himself give up. He was Amon, chosen by the spirits to punish the world for wronging them. He was subhuman, a soldier created by the guardians of the world. He couldn't just let one failure define him. He'd get his powers back. Surely if he could prove himself, Koh would forge a new mask, and a new connection to his power. After all, Amon had done as Koh wished: he took away the Avatar's bending. _Except airbending._

Was that the trick? Someone in a faint memory had told him that unlocking chakras was the key to great power. If he could somehow regain his ability to take bending, he could go on a quick mission and take the Avatar's airbending. Then, Koh would accept him again.

The logical part of his brain told him that his plan made no sense, but he was far from the tactics and composure individual he was when he led the Equalists.


	7. Looking to Extremes

**A/N: **Hello all and welcome back. This chapter...is actually pretty pivotal, and leads to end of the second act of this fic. I hope everyone enjoys and once again, and you so much for reading!

* * *

The goodbyes to the Swamp People and Tahno were kept brief and concise, the only fading regrets being Amon still refusing to thank them specifically for the drowning incident. As if karma were following him, the first hour or so of the return on the speedboat were spent with Amon leaning over the boat's edge, the vertigo aggravated by the toss of the waves.

"You have no idea how amusing this is knowing that you're Amon," Emi commented when Amon finally collapsed onto the boat's floor.

"Yeah, not being able to see straight is completely hilarious. Enjoying people suffer: such a _Fire Nation_ trait. Oh, excuse me, fire_bender_ trait."

Emi smiled. "You feeling better?"

He squeezed his eyes shut and opened them. When he made sure the world wasn't moving where it shouldn't be, he answered. "Okay."

"How does the dizziness thing work?"

"Ears control balance and since one of my ears was kind of destroyed, the other ear has to figure out how to keep balance without it."

"How do you know this stuff?"

"I read a lot as a kid."

Amon's thoughts went back to the exact time he "read a lot." He hadn't been a kid per say, fifteen to be exact…

"Eastern Air Temple, right?"

"Yeah."

"So Mr. Leader of the Equalists…are you any more willing to talk now then before?"

He shook his head. "Unless you'd like to understand the trials and tribulations of running a revolution."

She played with a piece of hair. "Yeah, sure. Does it involve you being too busy to have sex cause that'd get me down too."

Amon resisted pushing his palms against his face. "No, it _doesn't_ involve sex." He took a deep breath. "Explain something to me: why is losing your bending such a tragedy?"

"Uhh…why wouldn't it be a tragedy? Bending is awesome." She looked back, and Amon, as usual, was not amused in the least. "Well…why don't you tell me why you think it wouldn't be? Then I'll give you my opinion."

"After each bender lost his or her bending, there was this mourning for it, as if they'd died. People called me a monster, as if I'd gone into homes and murdered children. I took away bending. No one dies from it. So someone lost some special skill. It shouldn't be taken with a reaction like that. The way people would cry and mope about it was revolting."

Emi bit her lip. "Well, I think you're looking at bending the wrong way. Don't think of it as some special power that we flaunt and boosts our pride or whatever. Think of it as a talent, something you discover you have, nurture, and it becomes a part of you. Take you: are you an excellent acrobat. What if someone pushed your forehead and you could never stand on your two feet again?" Emi didn't even realize how close that hit to home. He thought about his ear, and how considering how he'd been, he'd probably never be able to do the balancing tricks he showed her in the swamp. "It's a part of us, Amon. I guess you wouldn't know unless you had it. I mean, look—I don't hate you because of what you did. You have your reasons if your scar story is true." She swallowed, and Amon swore she was almost crying. "You have no idea how lucky you are."

Amon's brow furrowed. "Why am _I_ lucky?"

"Because people don't still view non-bender Fire Nation people as automatically evil. You lived in our town—you know how the old people used to talk about the firebenders. We started a war, Amon. People can't just forget that. Sure, maybe non-benders were part of the war, but it was the benders who killed and killed and killed. We slaughtered an entire race, were willing to burn another to ashes. And then the Triad members just won't let us forget."

"What's with all the self-pity?"

She shook her head. "I just wish you could've taken my bending that night. All my life, even my own sister viewed me as a threat, despite the fact I'd never hurt her. I spent day in and day out fearing that I'd accidentally hurt her and she'd never forgive me. My mother, a non-bender, always clung to my sister because I was too much to handle with the bending. I don't use firebending in whatever job I would eventually require, and it really only has two positive uses."

"Are you just saying this to make up for—?"

"Amon, please, I'm being serious right now." She locked the wheel. "Taking away bending is all about illusion, right? Give me a good illusion."

She got down her knees and pulled him up. "I really can't—"

"Why aren't you taking this opportunity? You've met your first bender who doesn't want to bend."

Amon swallowed and put his hands in the right places. "You will now be cleansed of your impurity."

As opposed to every other time he'd said that, his voice was deflated, confused, and unconfident. Even so, he shut his eyes and tried to feel for the ability he once possessed.

_Amon couldn't say he was happy to have to follow Koh's particularly un-human-friendly commands, namely hitching a ride with sandbenders to find a buried library. He'd only been lucky enough to find a Knowledge Seeker fox-like animal that knew how to dig in the right places. Now, walking through a dim, dusty old library, his distaste had turned to wariness. For one, he looked down an aisle of this friendly library and saw a corpse. _

_"Are you sure this spirit is friendly?" Amon whispered._

_Since his mask was on, he didn't worry when Koh's form came crawling up from behind him. He hadn't seen Koh's full form since he was six years old, but he hadn't changed from his nightmarish look. "Don't worry, young one. Wan Shi Tong is an old friend."_

_Although Amon wasn't exactly used to wearing the mask, it felt like a protective wall between him and Koh. Since the original meeting nine years before, he had almost forgotten how massive Koh was. _

_"Your chi blocking training is complete, correct?" Koh said._

_"Yes, master. Ty Lee herself said I was better than she ever was at her peak."_

_Koh smiled, the current face being a Water Tribe woman's. "I am powerful, young one, but not in the ways as Wan Shi Tong. Perhaps he could give you spirit-like perks. Being human is a bit bothersome, wouldn't you say?"_

_Amon shrugged. "I wouldn't know it any other way."_

_Amon couldn't keep his eyes off the books. There were just so many. As a farm boy, he didn't grow up with a great amount of time for reading, and probably couldn't even read most of the books inside. A Knowledge Seeker rubbed against him, and he stroked the fox's back. _

_Koh ordered Amon to stop, and when he did, Koh wrapped his horrible bug-like body around him. But, he couldn't say he didn't appreciate it, for Wan Shi Tong didn't come without a grand and terrifying entrance. The spirit turned out to be a giant black owl that got his beak inches from Amon's face. _

_"Is this it, Koh?" the spirit demanded._

_"Don't underestimate him, Wan. He's perfect: his family was murdered by a firebender, he has literally no one, and is already a master chi blocker. All he needs is your power."_

_"Get your protective hold off him. I want to see how tough he is."_

_Koh unraveled himself and Wan Shi Tong removed Amon's mask. Knowing Koh would still play his games, Amon kept the straight face he'd been practicing for years. _

_"Very serious eyes. Wise for his years. What's your name?"_

_"Amon."_

_Wan Shi Tong looked to Koh. "And he'll perform our mission, no more?"_

_Koh nodded. "He's an obedient human. In fact, the only setback I can possibly think of with Amon is his humanity. You know the strange and tedious routines of humans more than me: eating, sleeping, and such. Perhaps you could help him with that too?"_

_Wan Shi Tong approached Amon again. _

_"He's a handsome boy, isn't he?" Koh commented._

_Wan Shi Tong took a deep breath. "Yes, I think I could help you a lot. Put the mask back on and sit still."_

_Amon did as told, and watched as the owl began circling around him, Koh wrapping around the outer ring. When the owl and Koh dispersed, there was something different about him, and Amon could feel it. He took a deep breath, a smile spreading across his face. _

_"My powers are channeled just as Koh's." _

_Amon looked up, and Koh continued Wan Shi Tong's talk. "You now have the ability to take away a person's bending, permanently."_

_"Not permanently, Koh. If a human can discover the ruse and unlock his or her chakras, they can reverse it, but it is very difficult." The owl turned back to Amon. "You take one hand and put your thumb on the middle of the forehead, and one on the back of the neck. Make sure they fear you, and it will be nearly impossible to reverse." _

_Amon stepped out from the huddle the spirits were making, amazed at what the bird had done. _

_"As well, while most humans can only go hours without food, he could potentially go a few days. Is that enough, Koh?"_

_"It's perfect. Don't fret, Wan Shi Tong. Amon will not disappoint us."_

_A moment later, Koh was in front of Amon. "You have one task, little one: the next Avatar was revealed this year to be a four-year-old girl from the Southern Water Tribe. When the time is right—when you can terrify people out of their wits, you are going to take her bending."_

_Amon nodded. "I won't fail you, master."_

_Koh smiled. "I know you won't."_

Amon let Emi go, and she fell forward for effect. But, she recovered immediately. "Did I do it right?"

"Can you bend?"

Emi made a couple firebending motions, but nothing happened. "Illusion achieved." She smiled deviously. "Now do you like me?"

Amon feared he'd admit his true answer to that question. "It's an improvement."

She smiled. "Definite progression." She paused. "So…can you explain to me how you got your power?"

If she was changing mindsets, he figured it was a good time for reward. "The simple version of the story is after the Triad member burned my face, I awoke in the Spirit World, in Koh's lair. He didn't face me, but told me that he was going to save my life if I'd become his agent. Naturally, I chose not to die, but when Koh turned to face me, I was scared. I mean, I was six, and knew nothing about Koh. He kind of smiled and said instead of taking my face completely, he'd slowly 'take' it, which in his case, meant he would slowly give me my unburned face back as I aged. I'm not sure, but I think he kept my burned face and my unburned childhood face. Anyway, afterwards, he made me train for years with the original user of chi blocking and when I was fifteen, took me to another spirit's lair—a library—and the other spirit gave me the ability to take away bending. Both powers were channeled through the mask which just recently broke."

"How'd it break?"

Amon suddenly empathized with the Lieutenant whenever he made him talk about losing Air Temple Island. "I was fighting the Avatar, and even after I took her bending, she…she somehow still had airbending—really amateur airbending—and one gust managed to knock the mask off. It was made of porcelain, so it shattered."

Emi nodded. "That's…really unlucky." She shrugged. "But hey, maybe it was meant to be. You know, the universe telling you that maybe it's time to stop being the leader of the Equalists. Do you…think Avatar Korra will regain her bending?"

Amon considered her fear level. "She was terrified when I performed it, maybe less than Tahno, but still scared. But, she's perseverant; I imagine she will."

Emi tried not to smile. "You don't necessarily sound like that's such a bad thing."

Amon stopped all conversation just to consider that. Did he really not care if the Avatar got her bending back? Of course he did! If she got all her bending back, it would be just that much harder to take it again! He couldn't think like that. He was going to regain his abilities, find Korra, take away her bending and make sure she _never_ gets it back, find and kill Tarrlok, then come back to his revolution with a bang.

"You misinterpreted my tone."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say."

Amon moved from his spot on the floor near the back to standing beside Emi. "It's beautiful out here, isn't it? For me, it's almost uncomfortable to be away from the view of the ocean."

Emi nodded. "Without a doubt."

She left her hand hanging at her side, and Amon accidentally brushed against it when he tried to get his hair out of his face. The slightest blush pinked his cheeks, and he sidestepped a fair distance between the two of them.

The instinctual man part of him wanted so badly to just watch her, the wind blowing her hair and that content smile on her lips as she drove, but he kept his gaze forward. _Well now she's not mentally a bender…_ that inappropriate part of him thought. He shook his head; he'd barely known her a week. Or, at least not long enough for the Fire Flakes she brought to lose their flavor. He wasn't sure how long that took, but it couldn't be that long.

_She wants you too_, his dangerous thoughts continued.

Amon took a deep breath; this was not the time to be chasing after girls. He didn't even chase after girls when his teenage hormones would've liked nothing more than that. He was twenty-eight years old and such frivolous things should've been a childhood desire turned to fading memories.

A few more hours were spent with Amon battling his desires against his power quest, with neither able to really stomp the other into nothing.

"Hey Amon, uhh, I think we should take a quick port stop."

Amon finally turned to Emi. "Why?"

"We…don't have food?"

Amon looked around the boat, and realized that before he started feeling sick, Emi had mentioned something about animals "burgling" the ship. "I didn't think you used a real word."

"Soo…port?"

Amon nodded. "Port."

The Earth Kingdom port they stopped in wasn't anything magnificent, but both figured it wasn't so impoverished that they sold food that would not pass a basic health inspection.

When they disembarked, Amon picked up his mask instinctually, but Emi swatted it out of his hands. "You shouldn't be ashamed of your scar. Fire Lord Zuko wore his burn scar proudly, and he got it as a shame mark from his father. Be the Fire Lord, Amon!"

_Her bubbly personality has its lines between cute and annoying_, Amon thought as they entered the town, him mask-less.

"Let's get in and out, okay?" Amon said.

"I'll try."

While Emi began scouting out food vendors in the city square, something else caught Amon's eyes.

A couple kids were playing earth soccer, while some played with marbles on the floor. Amon figured from the fact that the kids looked the same age that the ones with the marbles were non-benders.

A guy with a head too full of brown hair in a shoulder-revealing shirt and a teenager's posture strode between the boys.

"Hey Tyro, look at the bottom feeders. Come on, Wu. Why aren't you and your friends playing soccer?" the teen said as he looked between the groups of kids.

The kid who must've been Wu glared at the dirt. "Why don't you go hang out with your friends, Tao? I'd just slow down the game if I played."

"Yeah, come on. Wu doesn't want to play," Tyro said.

Out of his group of friends, Tyro seemed oldest, perhaps thirteen while the other kids were about eleven. Despite the slight defense, Tyro did nothing as Tao picked up Wu and placed him at the goal.

"Give me the ball," Tao said to the boys playing earth soccer. He smirked. "Actually, give me all the kids too."

The bender boys, excluding Tyro, took one of the non-bender boys and held him standing in front of the goal. Tao shot the ball over to his foot, stood back a bit, and used a rock flying out of the ground to propel the leather playing ball right at the boy's gut. The boy cried out in pain and fell forward. Just when Amon thought Tao would let the boy go, a perfect rectangle shot itself out of the ground and hit the boy back to his feet. The boy came up tears rolling down his cheeks and he looked vaguely nauseous. Amon had his own share of fast shot rocks to the gut, and could almost feel the sting and ache.

Amon's fingers twitched in anger as he watched the boys throw the first non-bender aside and pick up the second of the three who were playing with the marbles. The boy was already in tears when he was placed up front, and Tao laughed at him. Amon took enough steps forward to move from the public and into this little game as a spectator. Tao pulled the ball into the air with a quick lift from the earth, and coated the ball itself earth. Amon ground his teeth as he watched the ball rocket through the air.

The shot seemed to even surprise Tao himself, the ball landing on the boy's chest, causing the boy to fly backwards into the stone wall that dead-ended the alley the boys were playing in.

"Spirits, Tao, I don't think he's breathing!" one of the earthbenders shouted.

The non-bender boy was unconscious, blood pooling out of a wound in his head. Amon took another step forward, just waiting for one more trigger.

"Forget him, kid. Give me Wu," Tao said.

"You must think you're something special," Amon growled as he approached the boys.

Tao took one look at Amon and grinned. "Look at the way he walks, gentlemen: just another non-bender with big dreams."

Even so, the kids who could ran out, Wu and Tyro carrying the bleeding boy. "He could be dead, you know. Do you care?"

"Benders are the predators in this world. Simply keeping the world in check."

"It's people like you who turn this world to war and hatred."

Tao smirked. "Look at the Fire Nation non-bender trash here. Who gave you that scar, man? Your old man? An angry firebender? You're just like the rest of your kind: too weak to defend even your faces from melting off."

Amon knew he shouldn't have taken the bait, but it was too easy. "Don't incite me, boy. I can do things beyond your wildest nightmares."

Tao looked at his dirt-encrusted fingernails. "Y'know, maybe if you were a firebender, I'd be scared of you. But, since you're clearly not." He straightened up. "This'll be a quick fight, Scar Face."

_I know_. Amon shot forward, and was able to feel the earth beneath him cracking up with enough time to let it take him upward and still land square on his feet. A second passed where Amon let a smile spread across his face as Tao's eyes widened. The next second, a sheet of earth came up and smashed Amon against the wall of the alley. Amon shook off the pain and ducked to avoid a rock hurled at him.

"You fight with strength, but no finesse," Amon commented as he jumped to avoid a couple shards of earth meant to cut his feet.

With Tao within feet, Amon began his final attack, using the wall to push off the wall and land behind Tao. Once at full access to his back, he chi blocked him with jabs that would leave bruises. The young earthbender fell to the ground where Amon grabbed him by the arm and thrust him back to his feet and against the wall the boy had been thrown against. There was a crack, and Tao cried out in pain.

"What did you do?"

"Bending is a gift, kid, and you've done nothing but abuse it." Amon put the toes of his boots on Tao's feet, and put all his weight onto them. "You're disgusting, the way you use your bending. I wonder every day why people like you can slither through life while good people die early and horrible deaths. I think it's time that reality is twisted a bit."

Amon let go of him, and watched as he slumped to the floor. Gripping the young man's good wrist to the point of nearly breaking it, Amon pulled out his shuriken. Sweat rolled down Tao's face as his eyes filled with fear.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you. Please, just—just don't do this."

"Do what?"

"Take my—"

"Your what? Your bending?"

_I don't need spirit magic to make my vision a reality. All I need is some broken limbs and death. _

"Amon…"

He knew who was behind him, but didn't look back. She didn't understand, and knew she never would. She continued to speak, but Amon lost her words in their uncertainly and the quiet tone.

"I can't _hear you_," Amon snapped.

"Killing him won't solve inequality. It'll just further divide the two sides. You even knew that as the leader of the Equalists."

The young man's blood was already dripping onto his hands as he pressed the shuriken into his neck. "Stay out of this. If this guy thinks non-benders are _afraid_ of him, it's only fitting I can correct him."

"Even your spirit wouldn't have wanted you to go to this extreme."

_Do everything you have to, little one._

_"So you really want this offer to work out?" Hiroshi Sato asked as the two of them stood in front of the recently turned former firebender and leader of the Agni Kai Triad, trembling at the sight of the masked man Amon at age twenty had already become. _

_"Yes. I've showed you my power, and all I need is you."_

_"I need to know that you're committed to every part of this movement if I'm to fund it."_

_"Anything."_

_Sato looked down at the Triad leader. "Kill him."_

_"My movement is not about killing."_

_"I know. This is about a connection between you and I. I want to know that you're fearless."_

_Amon pulled out the shuriken his father had given him as a child and threw it at the man. He died almost instantly, and Amon was over digging the weapon out of the Triad leader's head before Sato could voice his approval._

"He told me to do whatever I deem necessary. I told you to stay out of this, Emi. Back down."

Emi put her hand on Amon's shoulder. "You know you'll regret doing this."

_No one ever found out about the Triad leader. Is that why Asami looked at me with fear, even without the mask? Did she see the walls I'd broken down in myself?_

"Stop talking."

She moved her other hand on top of his, where she slowly massaged the skin in little circles. "You need to relax, Amon. It's been a hard few days."

He let go of Tao, and Emi turned to walk back.

_You're crazy, Amon. A monster. Amon-ster, that's who you are. It's like Mom and Dad knew from the beginning._

In one last fit of rage, Amon took the toe of his boot and kicked Tao in the jaw, sending his head bashing against the wall. Emi tightened her grip on Amon's arm and they walked silently back to the boat. Amon collapsed into hugging his knees to his chest, his head turned to the ocean.

"Just give it some time, and you'll cool off I think," Emi said as she checked to make sure she didn't forget the food she bought. "Look Amon, I get it—I get the anger, the pain when people bring up stuff like that."

"How long were you there?"

"Long enough to see your fight. My mom was killed by firebenders too. I don't have a scar or anything, but I hate it when people try to make you seem weak because you couldn't save them. You're not weak because you didn't save your family. I'm glad that you came to your senses, though. You're stronger than you think, mentally."

She knelt down and wrapped her arms around his waist, and he didn't pull away.

* * *

**A/N:** It's funny thinking that ABM!Amon is willing to kill. Now that we know Noatak was a bloodbender, it makes me wonder if even canon Amon was secretly a bit of a killer. Those of you who find it a bit strange that Amon was led to an emotional extreme, it _is_ touched upon in the next chapter. Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter regardless.


	8. Cracking Shells

After several hours of meditation and a quick meal, Amon was much calmer, and very reflective.

"I just—I've never been that angry before. Looking back, it's almost scary. I mean, yeah, I've gotten into fights with people who bully non-benders, but I never had the gall to kill one." He shook his head. "Am I crazy?"

Emi smiled slightly and shook her head. "Believe it or not, anger is a totally normal emotion. Did the spirits dampen your personality or something?"

Amon had to admit that he was hard to irk when he was Koh's agent. At worst, he'd always just been disgusted with the way benders treated non-benders, never angry. "Why would they do that?"

"To make sure you didn't do anything stupid is my guess. Young men aren't known for their emotionally driven decision skills."

The idea was interesting. Was he…inhumanly composed during his time working for Koh? He supposed he didn't really know the difference; the last time he'd been "human" was when he was a very young child.

"I'm just a calm guy, Em. I don't think they'd go to so much effort."

Emi pursed her lips. "Let's test that out, shall we? Any girls tickle your fancy while you worked on your world changing mission?" Amon shook his head. "Don't lie to me."

"I really didn't go after women while working. I had major priorities, and that kind of stuff was at rock bottom."

Emi thought back to all the news she'd read about. "Hiroshi Sato worked for you, didn't he?" Amon nodded. "So…you must've been in close contact with his daughter." She smirked. "His hot daughter."

Amon made a disgusted sound. "Asami was ten when I first met her, not to mention that she hated me."

"She didn't always hate you, I bet. I bet she didn't even know who you were for years. You could've hooked her in. I mean, even if you were the masked guy, you have a nice body, even though you move like an airbender or ballerina—whichever hurts your bravado less—you still move with confidence, you have that sexy baritone voice, and hey, take off the mask so she can see your handsome face, and she's sold. You could've had her if you tried."

Amon was surprised to see how much this conversation bothered him. Far more than just annoyance. "Yes, and then risk Hiroshi going protective daddy on me when he's my sponsor. Sounds like a great move."

"But you see what I'm saying, right? You _could've_ had women, but you _didn't_. You didn't because the spirits didn't let you be a human. How many hours a day did you spend with down time or eating and bathing and sleeping? Honestly."

"Three hours on average. It was an indulgence if it was more than that."

"See? They made you like that. It's not natural, especially for a guy who honestly is human. So see yourself now: you've gotten more than human needs back, but your human emotions too. So yes, you're going to feel angry and sad and frustrated, but it's not all bad. You have desires now, and if you fulfill them, you can be happy." She put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't you see it, Amon? The mask isn't holding you back anymore. You're free to explore the world and be happy. See a pretty girl? Go after her. You're free now. Don't hold all this in anymore cause you still want to be subhuman. Being human isn't all that bad."

He shut his eyes. Accepting this lower form would be accepting defeat. It was like any other temptation placed in front of great people. He could give up and go forth in being a normal man—find a town to settle in, get with a girl, and maybe even marry and father children. Or, he could be more than just another black dot in the world population. He could make a difference in the world. Just going through that Earth Kingdom port confirmed it: the world was still full of benders who abused their powers, and wouldn't stop unless it was taken from them. Even benders who didn't abuse didn't appreciate their gifts. If he gave up, they never would.

"I can't give up yet. It would be selfish, and my job isn't done until all my sources have run dry. Please try to understand this."

Emi turned to face him. "What about a middle ground? You always seem so unhappy. Why can't you at least let yourself smile once in a while?"

"Emi…"

She rested her hands in position as if she wrapped her hands around his neck, but only rested her wrists on his shoulders, not letting her hands touch his neck. "What? Am I making you uncomfortable?" She smirked. "Turned on, even?"

"Get off me."

She shrugged. "Make me. I'm surprised you haven't already. What's wrong, Amon? Do you like having me touch you like this?"

Amon gently removed her hands from him. "Don't do that again."

She returned to the wheel. "You haven't convinced me to stop yet."

* * *

Amon let her be, and she didn't bother him for the rest of the trip. In fact, after the several day walk to the Eastern Air Temple, the entrance was quiet and unexciting. There was a small convent of Air Alcolytes who greeted them without much fuss.

"Is there a guru who lives here?" Amon asked.

The older Air Alcolyte who had been showing them around the rebuilt buildings of the temple nodded. "He typically goes over to the waterfall on the north side of the temple to meditate."

Amon almost felt awkward coming to see him now that it was actually happening. "Could I meet with him?"

"I'm sure he'd be delighted to meet you. Here, Jin can escort you to him." The nun turned to Emi. "Allow me to offer you two a place to live during your stay."

Emi smiled and leaned into Amon. "And I thought I'd be bored to death here."

They exchanged one last glance. "I uh, I'll see you tonight," Amon said before following Jin.

After a short walk, Amon and Jin stopped in front of a man meditating. After giving thanks to Jin, the nun walked off, and Amon was left alone with the guru, perhaps the only guru left.

Before Amon could even begin to come up with what he was going to say to the guru, he turned around and revealed himself. As opposed to the ancient man Amon expected, the guru had Earth Kingdom features—green eyes, slightly tanned skin, and dark brown hair—and only looked between fifty and sixty. The man smiled at Amon.

"Welcome to the Eastern Air Temple, friend. Are you looking for something?"

Amon nodded. "I'm looking for someone who can teach me how to open my chakras."

The guru smiled. "It's been so long since I've met someone who wants to learn the ancient arts. My name's Guru Zopa."

Amon joined him on the ground. "Amon."

The guru raised an eyebrow. "I'm curious, Amon. Why do you want to unlock your chakras? You seem rather well versed to even know the proper terms."

Amon nodded. "I uh, when I was a boy, a spirit took responsibility as my guardian after my parents died. He gave me a mask to keep our connection, but I broke it, and lost him. I think being as spiritually sound as possible could make it easier for me to possibly pass into the Spirit World."

Guru Zopa considered this. "You're a very ambitious young man." He smiled. "I'd love to help you."

Amon smiled. "That's great." He paused. "When can we start?"

"You know how chakras work, right?" Amon nodded. "Have you ever gone through the process before? I feel a need to warn you that it's not a pleasant one."

Amon shook his head. "Yes, and I understand, but I'd like to move on regardless."

"Alright, but be warned, I will slow you down if I don't feel you're ready." He shut his eyes, then opened them. "Are you ready?"

"Yes."

The guru reached behind his back and brought out a bowl filled with some thick light yellow liquid. "Good, now drink up." Amon took the bowl, swirled the contents around a bit, and sniffed it, the scent being vaguely sweet yet onion-y. Not wanting to disappoint the guru, he took a swig of the concoction, grimacing as it went down. "It's an acquired taste, I admit. But, my master, Guru Pathik, swore by it." Guru Zopa shut his eyes as Amon tried to fathom taking another swig, let alone finishing the bowl. The Guru opened an eye. "Are you going to finish?" Amon nodded and chugged down the remaining contents of the bowl. "Good. For the record, that's all you'll be eating while working with me." Amon struggled to maintain a straight face, offering a weak smile. "Now, for your first chakra: the earth chakra. Do you know the specifics about this chakra?" Amon shook his head, and the guru smiled. "Finally, something you don't know already! Now, take a meditative stance and try to do no more than listen to me."

Amon crossed his legs, put his hands in a more comfortable variation of the Fire Nation hand gesture he'd been forced to learn as a child, and shut his eyes. Raw determination alone fought off all distractions he could've had, leaving him waiting for the guru's words to fill the void of his mind.

"The earth chakra is located at the base of the spine. It deals with survival, and is blocked by fear."

_"Look here, little boy. Look at him here, trying to defend his father." The Moon Monster Triad leader who had just shot down his father and mother pulled his chin up. The man was tall, but not just tall—monstrously tall, with his muscle even showing through the veins pulsating through his hands as he grabbed Amon's shirt. "What're you gonna do, kid? Fire bend?" He laughed. "Oh, that's right. You can't." The Triad leader stood, and pulled his arm back. "It's time to pick out the weak ones."_

_Amon's vision was covered by the flame._

The image moved to something Amon didn't expect. Instead of seeing something through his own eyes, he saw himself. In darkness, moving like a shadow, he saw the masked man he had once been, unsure of his own point of view in the vision, but only that the person that should've been him was coming closer, and reached his hand out…

Amon broke from the meditation. "Can you see what I'm seeing?"

Guru Zopa nodded. "Yes."

"How can I be afraid of me?"

"Perhaps you should meditate on it. The process isn't necessarily short."

Amon took a deep breath and pondered the vision. It almost reminded him of the point of view his bending victims had when he approached them. How could he share the fears of a bender when he wasn't a bender? He stopped on each piece of the image: the mask he once wore, the black and maroon clothing, the towering appearance he gave off and…the fact that he couldn't see his eyes through the mask.

The longer he let the vision run, he watched as his masked self turned to the side. Suddenly, he understood the vision. A gust of wind came out of nowhere, and Amon watched as the mask fell from his vision self. The broken mask sucked the color out of itself, and the mask pulled itself back together, forming into the black and white Noh mask Koh used. When Amon looked back up at his vision self without the mask, he didn't have a face to look at.

"I'm afraid of Koh's punishment," he mumbled.

The guru smiled. "Your fears are at an interesting angle, Amon. It's like a bird who flies in order to escape a predator on the ground. You've flown away from your fears, but you're still convinced they're out there, lurking in the shadows, waiting to finish the job. While, in reality, like most predators, your fears aren't just focused on you. They lost you, and they've forgotten you. Allow yourself to accept that you've escaped them—you've survived—and you don't need to worry anymore."

Amon took a deep breath and allowed the images of the Triad leader and Koh to flow out of his mind. When he opened his eyes, he couldn't believe the weight that was off his shoulders. He couldn't even remember when the weight had been placed on him. He sighed contently.

"Thanks, Guru."

Guru Zopa nodded. "I think that's enough for today. Meet me here tomorrow morning at sunrise."

Amon bowed in that same Fire Nation fashion he'd been taught, and ran off to find Emi.

* * *

He found Emi in one of the refurbished Air Nomad huts, a simple place really with a Pai Sho table and two simply made beds.

"The sisters are teaching me how to make fruit pie," Emi announced as soon as Amon walked in the door. "Y'know, seeing the Air Alcolytes, it really makes Fire Lord Sozin seem like a true monster. Who would want to kill all the Air Nomads when they're so great?"

Amon nodded. "The division in the nations has come a long way. Avatar Aang would be proud."

Emi gave him a look. "Since when do you care about Avatar Aang?"

Amon shrugged. "He was a major figure, and one who did seem to care about non-benders. It's a shame his successor isn't as wise."

"You aren't giving Avatar Korra enough credit." Now he gave her a look. "Okay, let's forget that you have some spirit-fueled issues with her. She's only seventeen, and when we were alive for Avatar Aang, he was in his sixties. He was a wise, and well lived Avatar. Avatar Korra is only a teenager, and we're just unlucky enough to have to live in the time when the Avatar matures. Think of it as Avatar puberty: it's totally awkward and awful while it's happening, but it's guaranteed to end unless she dies before she gets the chance." Emi tried to smile when she saw the look of shock on Amon's face. "Was that too dark?"

Amon smiled. "Very Fire Nation."

Emi's jaw slackened. "Did you just smile and tell a joke?" She threw down the Pai Sho tile she'd been examining. "Have you ever told a joke in your life?"

Amon thought back to him and Tarrlok. "As a matter of fact, yes."

"Was it a good joke?"

"He didn't laugh…but then again I was taking away his bending."

Emi nodded, a shocked expression still on her face. "Uh-huh, you learn something new every day…" Amon sat down next to her. "So, how's the guru going?"

Amon half smiled for a moment. "I've unlocked my first chakra, but he put me on a liquid diet until I unlock all seven."

Emi frowned mockingly. "Aww, so poor Amon can't have any delicious Air Nomad fruit pies. Oh well, you're…being spiritually cleansed. I actually have no idea what you're doing." She forced a smile.

"I wouldn't expect someone like you to know."

"Oh, alright…"

Amon smirked. "What? Am I insulting you?"

"Yes! I know about spirits."

"Name one." She opened her mouth. "Not Koh."

Her expression faded. "Do those dragons count?"

"No."

She slumped her shoulders. "Fine, I'm a spiritual failure. Hey, at least I'm not the Avatar _and_ a spiritual failure, right?"

"You know who was a great Avatar…"

"Kyoshi?" Amon nodded. "You know why?"

"Because she actually got stuff done."

Amon looked away. "I bet she would've killed Yakone before he had the chance to blink after revealing himself as a bloodbender."

"And you too. Y'know, bathe in your blood and paint the streets with your entrails level. Avatar Kyoshi was brutal."

There was a moment of awkward silence while Amon waited for the blood to return to his face. "I…don't want to think about that."

She inched her hand toward his. "Amon…I kind of have a confession to make."

Amon's bliss began to fade, and his crinkled his brow. "What is it?"

"I uh, I," she sighed. "Amon, I've been keeping something from you. Something…kind of important."

"Stop beating around the bush. What's wrong?"

She bit the inside of her cheek, as if searching for her words. But, instead of saying anything, she leaned in and put Amon in a kiss. For a few moments, Amon was so blown away by the kiss that he didn't even realize it was happening. Urges that were barely past unfelt started shooting through his head like rouge fireworks. She tasted vaguely of fruit pie, bringing back memories of his mother's sweets from childhood.

Half a minute passed before Amon returned the pressure Emi put on his lips, digging his hands into the bed they sat on to avoid putting them on her body. The determination in her kiss faltered when he returned the gesture, and the moment of subordination was chilling for him.

And, as if surfacing from a hot spring dip in his winters as a child, the ecstasy ended with a whip of cold. Amon pulled away, and stumbled back. He wiped his lips and muttered, "I shouldn't have done that," before he ran outside.

A light breeze blew as Amon ran out and didn't stop until he was far into the abandoned structures of the Air Temple. By the time he decided he'd gone far enough, he was standing in front of a statue of Avatar Yangchen.

His vision began to blur and shift, so he took a seat, leaning his head against the wall facing the statue.

He had to clear his head. He couldn't let his guard fall like that again. If he got attached to Emi, not only would achieving spiritual enlightenment and connection be impossible, but he'd never be able to drag himself out of the chasm of humanity. He'd seen the way it affected people countless times over his years: a man falls for a woman and is willing to give up everything—his home, his job, his dignity—to make his wife happy. Whether he wants to or not, children come into the picture, and then there's no escaping fatherhood lest his honor be completely crushed. Amon wasn't a husband, and he wasn't a father.

He was a fighter, he was a revolutionary, and he was going to be a legend; Koh and Wan Shi Tong guaranteed it.

* * *

**A/N: **Oh Amon, you are quite the romantic, aren't you? So, there's chapter 8 - some Avatar Kyoshi jokes, some nostalgic chakra openings, and Amon's failure to get the ladies. The next chapter is a little (actually, it's pretty long) gem I like to call the infamous chapter 9. ;)

Anyway, I'd just like to thank everyone who's reading this story, and especially to those who leave a review, even if it is brief. I just want to make sure everyone finds Amon's character in-character, the story well-paced...stuff like that that you guys think I could work on.


	9. Bare Basics

**A/N: **Hello everyone and welcome to chapter 9!

**WARNING: This chapter contains sexual material as well as brief but graphic description of violence.**

* * *

Amon woke to dawn's slow approach when he felt someone sat down in front of him. He wasn't sure whether to be glad or disappointed that it was Guru Zopa who had joined him.

"You don't have to live that ascetically, you know." The guru handed him another bowl of onion-banana juice, which Amon accepted with minimal enthusiasm. "But I will admit, this is a wonderful spot for meditation."

Amon must've fallen asleep while meditating the night before. He briefly wondered if Emi had tried to find him, but replaced the thought with tackling the onion-banana juice. After one gulp, he knew it wouldn't be easy. "This still hasn't grown on me."

The guru chuckled. "Give it a few more chakras."

Amon didn't have the willpower to swiftly down the remaining juice, so the guru allowed himself about fifteen minutes of meditation before Amon was ready.

"Did I mention that your chakras are particularly mucked up?" the guru commented as Amon slid the empty bowl away from him.

Amon shrugged. "Things have been heavy lately."

"How did you unlock your chakras last time?"

"The spirit unlocked them. I'm not sure how."

Guru Zopa nodded. "Onwards. Your next chakra is the water chakra, which is located in the genitals, and deals with pleasure—" The guru glanced at Amon, who looked just a tiny bit uncomfortable. Amon moved into a perfectly formed meditative stance, as if attempting to erase his earlier concerns. "And is blocked by guilt."

One image entered his mind: the attack on the Pro Bending arena. The sheer numbers of the mission boggled his mind thinking back on it. For the first time, he could truly see his foes and allies laid out in front of him. It had been fantastical, the microphone nestled in his hand, Tahno and the Wolfbats already thrown off the stage, the world was his. He could see the people who had risked their lives to help his cause, see how far they had come with technology and numbers, and the Lieutenant and Hiroshi were there watching, proud to see their leader in the position he was in.

The image melted away once he recognized each detail. The audience slowly began to fade away, and then Hiroshi in the box with his daughter, until it was just him and the Lieutenant. His vision turned to a motion picture, and he and the Lieutenant met gazes. The betrayal on his second-in-command was palpable. As he faded away, Amon could almost hear him say, _You're a failure, Amon._

"I betrayed my movement, but more than that, I took hope from the people who needed it most. I could've survived and continued the Equalists if I hadn't left. Even if I couldn't take away bending, I shouldn't have left them like that. What kind a leader fakes his own death because one part of the plan doesn't work? I'm a failure."

The guru took a deep breath. "Your leaving the Equalists was inevitable. If you hadn't left, you would've had to leave during a different fight or perhaps for retirement. It's a finite thing, your leadership. What you don't seem to get, however, is that you didn't betray your movement, because your movement is an idea, and an idea is timeless. Accept that you've been affected by inevitability and don't dwell on forces you can't control."

Amon took a deep breath. "Should I feel guilty about liking a woman because I want to focus on my movement?"

The guru shook his head. "Think about it this way: the Avatar, whose sole duty is to serving his or her people, is able to find love. Why shouldn't someone like you be able to do the same thing?"

* * *

Amon dragged his feet the last few steps to the house, unsure of how exactly an apology to a girl worked. In fact, he didn't even think he'd ever said sorry to anyone besides Koh, and those apologies were mechanical and were never more than three words. Somehow, he knew that three words were not enough for women, especially a woman who had a man kiss her and run out without an explanation.

"Emi? You in here?"

Emi was sitting at the Pai Sho table, stacking game tiles without anyone to play with. "Well look who crawled back home."

Her tone was friendly; Amon relaxed his shoulders. "I'm really sorry about last night." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Lately, I've just been having a hard time coming to terms with this." He smiled. "I think it's starting to calm down."

Emi readjusted her chair so it was facing Amon. "What chakra did you unlock today?"

"Water chakra." He pulled on his straight face. "It's uh, the pleasure chakra."

Emi licked her bottom lip. "Interesting. What did you have to do to unlock it?"

"Just release guilt. It feels nice, opening this one. But…strange too."

They made eye contact, and he allowed those looming thoughts in the back of his mind to take over, if just for an indulging moment. Her black hair was loose, pushed to hang off the right shoulder, leaving the left side of her neck and collarbone exposed. She wasn't wearing makeup like she had back in the village, yet she didn't really need it: her eyes sparkled, and there was something about her facial structure—maybe her cheekbones—that them all the more attractive. Her skin looked smooth to the touch, and for the first time in so long, he felt a _need_ to feel it. Looking at her collarbone inevitably led his eyes to her chest, and he knew he was going into a sinkhole.

A sly grin formed on her lips. "What're you looking at?" Amon wasn't sure how to respond, but Emi stepped forward regardless of his silence. "Cause…I want to look at something, but you need to tell me something first."

He swallowed. "Ask away."

_You don't need to be a spirit, Amon. You're human. Even when you had all the power in the world, you were human. Let experiences come as they come. It's not like you haven't given in before…_

She put her hand on his stomach. "Where is this mystical water chakra located?"

"Lower."

Her hand lowered to the area between his navel and crotch. "Here?"

"Little more."

Her touch was light when it reached his crotch, and it took all his willpower to keep from tightening her grip himself. "This good?"

Amon nodded, and she fanned her hand to cover the whole area. Just the way her fingers knew exactly where to hold tight and where to stroke made him begin to lose control. _You're human, Amon. Let her do what you want her to do._ Emi smiled.

"This isn't much fun with clothes, is it?" She took the top of his pants and rolled it down one fold, revealing the trail of dark hair leading downwards. "Am I going too slow?"

Amon had come in without a shirt on, so he figured the next move was to get her as naked as he was. Having lost her shirt in the swamp, she'd been keeping her decency with wearing a shawl she bought in the Earth Kingdom port, but she'd shed it while in their house. So, all he had to do was undo the fabric protecting her breasts. He became entranced by the unbelievably soft skin, taking every angle he could: running his thumb along the bottom, cupping it, circling around her nipple and watching as it hardened. His other hand slid along the curves of her back and felt her shiver as his touch moved lower.

On the flip side, he also had consider Emi's warm breath on his collarbone as her graceful hands felt the contours of his own torso. He certainly hadn't made a point of having a six-pack, but his lifestyle had allowed some muscle to build in his arms, and it wasn't like he ate enough for him to have much more than a thin packing of muscle on his stomach.

"Mmm, you look so good," she mumbled into him. "Can't help but wonder…if you taste as good."

The words sent a bolt of electricity through him, and he could feel the very bare control he should have over his body waning. It only got worse when he felt her tongue dip into the soft spot above his collarbone and move up to just below his Adam's apple. He tried to hold in a gasp when she began sucking the spot. His attempt to call her name ended in a drawn out moaning of it.

She smiled, and moved them back onto his bed. "Too slow?"

He nodded, and focused on pulling off her pants and underwear. Almost unconsciously, he moved to make her pulling off his bottoms layers easier. Within seconds, he propped himself by his forearms with her lying straight underneath, their bare bodies inches from crushing into each other. He tried to resist, but couldn't keep himself from pushing their bodies together, grinding against her small but perky breasts, flat stomach, and the slight protrusion of her hipbones. In order to distract himself from his need for a sated hunger, he moved his mouth to hers, biting down on the bottom lip she'd been teasing him with for what felt like weeks. He prodded a jerked sigh from her, and realized with a growing anxiety that he was getting too excited far too quickly.

"Enough foreplay," he muttered, and moved to change the grinding into joining them.

"Fair enough." While they pulled together, his brushed against her sweet spot. She gasped, and her nails dug into the skin in his shoulder. He smirked, finally with a bit of something that could make her crazier than him. "Hey Amon?"

"Mm?"

His motions began as slow and lazy, sliding in and out with the touch of a tease. "You have a really sexy voice. Talk more. Come on, what do you want from me?"

He moved his speed up a notch, hoping he could take small enough steps before he was lost in his own desire and could have no more than barreling into her. "So it's my voice that turns you on? What were you thinking when you first heard it?"

He went a notch faster, and Emi joined into the motions. He gritted his teeth and took a deep breath; he could last a bit longer. "Mmm, I just thought…I thought about having that voice whisper to me while we had sex, just to hear how it would sound when I made him beg…"

"You're not gonna make me beg."

She smirked. "How do you know that?"

He tried to move another grade faster, but couldn't stand it. He was so close, and couldn't wait. This impatience was thrilling, and he couldn't help but act like a child moments before getting his prize. His movements became rough, perhaps even too rough if she hadn't been experienced. She nearly shrieked, and her body rippled in the most enticing way around him. Even the sting as her nails dug into his shoulder and neck felt good.

Ready to blow in seconds, he braced his arms against the bed and let the pleasure drown everything else running through his mind. Finally, he let the desire break free and take its reward. For a few moments, he felt warm, happy, enthralled, and…safe.

Once the moment ended, he pulled out and allowed himself to slump forward, panting like a dog. He was sure his stamina was mediocre from lack of experience, but there was a satisfaction in how tired he was. When he looked over at Emi, her expression was peaceful. He pulled her into him, where he could feel his quick heartbeats reverberate off her thumping ones. He took a deep breath and inhaled her soft scent; the convent made perfumes, and the smell was pleasant.

That feeling of safety only seemed to grow as he could finally indulge in the simple sensation of having her bare skin against his. He wasn't sure what it was, but it brought back memories that he thought he'd fully shut out: distant, hazy images of cuddling with his mother, having her kiss his forehead, and her quiet lullabies lulling him to sleep. The connection with Emi certainly wasn't a mother-son love, but it held the same warm feelings. He couldn't believe he'd let himself sink to this kind of care for another person, but it felt nice, and, in those moments lying in the dark with Emi, he couldn't care less.

"I guess you're finally a man," Emi joked.

"I had sex before," he muttered.

"When? I thought the spirits took away your ability to get an erection."

"Fourteen, before I met Wan Shi Tong. I can't even remember the experience, only that it happened. I'm sure she was some Fire Nation non-bender."

She ran a hand through his hair. "You're not gonna forget me like that, right?"

"Doubtful."

"Good. I'd get so mad at you if you forgot about that."

The conversation quickly died down, and Emi fell asleep in Amon's arms. His eyelids heavy, he picked the blanket that fell off the ground, spread it over them, and fell asleep.

* * *

Amon was surprised to find that the warm feeling he felt with Emi the night before didn't just go away. In fact, he went so far to request that he and Guru Zopa take a daylong break. Instead of meditating the day away, he followed Emi to meet with the Air Alcolyte sisters.

The experience was surreal, as if he'd been transported back a hundred and seventy years before. The only true difference between these women and the female Air Nomad who had been wiped out were the lack of airbender tattoos and the constant soft rush of air as it helped them through their daily lives. Everything else—the ring tailed lemurs, the bison, and the hum of a peaceful people—all thrived.

"Do you ever feel inadequate?" Amon asked the sisters as brought fruit to the lemurs.

"How so?" Jin, the sister who had led them around, asked.

"Because you can't airbend."

She shrugged. "We don't know the difference, frankly. Avatar Aang told the Alcolytes when they formed that one day, when enough airbenders were born, that they'd join us and begin the theocracy of the temples again. With the birth of Tenzin's second son, the sisters and I figure that when they come of age, one of each of his children will come lead a temple." She smiled. "Things are looking up for the Air Nomads."

For a moment, Amon almost felt…bad for what he was going to do to the airbenders. Sure, it would've only pushed their entrance to the temples another generation, but there was something perfect about the children's numbers and genders. Amon stopped, thinking about what he'd just learned. He took a deep breath and let the guilt pass him. It wasn't like he planned to take out the airbenders now anyway. If anything, all he owed to Koh was the Avatar and Tarrlok for himself.

"Where are you too from? We don't hear much from the rest of the world."

Emi put an arm around Amon. "We're from a small island in the central Fire Nation. But…this guy lived in Republic City for a long time."

"How's everything there? We haven't heard from Tenzin in a while."

Amon fought off a grimace. "Things have been chaotic in the city lately. The uh, Equalists, a group who believe that benders oppress non-benders, attempted to take over the city. The United Forces, I'm sure, took care of the problem, but the idea will stick in the mind of the city for a while."

Jin frowned. "Things have been falling out of balance ever since Avatar Aang's death. It's a shame that Avatar Korra hasn't matured as quickly as Avatar Aang, but I suppose Aang was a miracle Avatar to do so much at such a young age." She chuckled. "I mean, most Avatars are on their first or second element by Avatar Korra's age; she's doing rather well for herself."

Amon nodded. "She's a different kind of Avatar, that's for sure. Kind of reminds me of Avatar Kuruk."

Amon paused, remembering what Koh did to Avatar Kuruk. A shiver shot down his spine, but he wasn't sure if it was one of pleasure or dread thinking of what Koh would probably do to Avatar Korra if she didn't step up her game.

"She seems a bit more active than Avatar Kuruk, wouldn't you say?"

Amon supposed that was true, but he knew Koh and Wan Shi Tong also didn't particularly like her. Then again, Wan Shi Tong disliked Avatar Aang, and it was hard to hate Avatar Aang unless one was still a Fire Lord Ozai supporter.

Amon shrugged. "I may be grasping for strings, but I'm just concerned that she doesn't understand what being an Avatar truly means."

"How so?"

"For instance, the Equalists have a point dug into their extreme ways, but Avatar Korra hasn't addressed that once. If she's going to be an active Avatar, she ought to know how to be the Avatar in the senses other than fighting. Even ruthless Avatar Kyoshi had morals behind her Avatar work." He paused in order to wince.

"She's not going to kill you for saying her name," Emi joked.

"She almost got Avatar Aang killed by a bunch of crazy villagers thus causing the end of the world in order to admit she murdered a man."

Emi looked at a statue of Avatar Yangchen. "The last Air Nomad Avatar…was she as peaceful as Avatar Aang?"

Jin shook her head. "She understood that she had to give up on enlightenment in order to fulfill her duty to the world. She was feared for her abilities to do whatever needed to be done to maintain peace." She paused. "But um, perhaps handled differently than Avatar Kyoshi."

"Do all you guys think Avatar Kyoshi is going to kill you guys in your sleep?" Emi demanded.

Amon nodded. "Considering every time I close my eyes at night, I visualize her bathing in my blood and painting the streets with my intestines, yes."

"Oh! I forgot to add clothing the poor with your skin."

Jin and Amon took a not-so-subtle step away from Emi. "Is your girlfriend going to kill you?"

Somehow, Amon's automatic reaction was far from being concerned about the killer comment. "She's not my girlfriend."

"Oh, you say that one more time and _I'll_ give your skin to the poor as clothing. There's enough poor people who'd love it," Emi said, crossing her arms across her chest. It took two seconds of Amon and Jin clearly still disturbed to break the act. "I'm _joking_. Spirits, aren't you an Air Alcolyte? It's part of your people to have a sense of humor!"

Jin looked to Amon, who shrugged. "She's right."

Jin's eyes moved between Amon and Emi, finally catching a hint. She smiled. "I ought to go feed the Flying Bison. Feel free to explore the temple."

Once Jin had moved away, Amon pushed Emi against the wall across from the statue and their lips proceeded to meet and subordinate to a clashing of teeth and tongues. While their tongues fought for the opportunity to dig into each other's throats, their hands failed to stay chaste. While Amon's hands went to the back of Emi's neck and down into her shirt, Emi played dirtier, knotting one hand into his hair and the other down his pants.

Amon was almost embarrassed how just her touch turned him on in less than a minute. He groaned as she played with his hard on, her expert strokes almost pushing him off his feet.

"Em, this is too much," he mumbled as they pulled their mouths apart.

They made eye contact, and a smirk formed on her lips. "We're past the point of no return, hun. Nothing is too much." She winked.

They led each other to the floor, zippers down once their legs touched the floor. "You gotta remind me to pull out this time," Amon said as she kissed his collarbone.

Emi would've made some sarcastic comment about how Ran and Kyo probably knew more about sex without making babies than him, but her eyes caught the gaze of someone watching them. She pulled her lips off Amon's skin and her hand out of his pants.

"Um, I think we should go somewhere else."

Amon looked up. "Why?"

She physically turned his head so he could see the statue. "Avatar Yangchen is watching us, and she's the one who's supposed to want to use your skin to clothe the poor."

Still staring like an idiot, Amon stuffed his lost hard-on back into his pants and zipped up. "Why did we think this was a good idea?"

She leaned into Amon. "Do you think spirits are watching us right now?"

Amon shook his head. "No…"

Emi stood up and faked a cough. "I uh, I think…I think the Alcolytes were gonna make cake with me. I'm gonna go find them…"

"I…shouldn't temp myself." He glanced at the yet-to-be redone quarters of the temple a bridge away. "I'll just mediate for a while."

For a moment, Emi considered kissing Amon goodbye, but he slinked away before she had a chance. Sighing, she turned the other way and started off toward the convent. Maybe she could find him cologne; it'd be able to mask his banana-onion juice smell.

Amon himself walked two temples away from where Emi and him were kissing before, into an area that clearly hadn't been touched in decades. He spotted a sort of metal ring fixture, but that was about all that was intact. He ran his hand along the dirt-encrusted walls. He could imagine how beautiful they were before the genocide. The loss of the place was almost palpable, and it made even standing there hard to take. He moved on into the vegetation that grew nearby. There was an apple tree, with a few overripe fruits still clinging to the branches. On a whim he knew he shouldn't follow, he picked one of the apples. After cleaning off its skin, he sat down and stared at the fruit. Would it really affect his chakra opening that much if he broke his liquid diet just once?

He was about to take a bite when he felt an unfamiliar presence. He set down the apple and looked up, only to find a baby sky bison. It seemed to make a whining sound, and Amon turned the apple around in his hand.

"I guess you'd like this more than me."

He held the apple out, and the little bison opened its mouth. Half smiling, Amon tossed the apple in, and the bison chewed noisily. Amon moved to begin meditation, but he noticed the little bison looked like it was about to charge. Unsure of how to handle sky bison (the Lieutenant had been in charge of taking care of Tenzin's bison), he watched the bison all while avoiding eye contact. Nonetheless, the bison charged forward, pushing Amon onto his back, and proceeded to lather Amon's face in a good licking. Amon struggled to remove the baby bison from him, but memories still pushed through.

_Amon always loved feeding the hybrid pigs—the wooly pigs, moo-sows, picken, and pigsters—every morning. After just walking outside after pouring the slop into the trough, the wooly pigs and moo-sows would always sniff the slop he'd spilled onto his clothes, would tackle him to the dirt floor, and lick it off him. Usually, they couldn't tell that there wasn't any food on his face, and Amon would take it as them giving him wet, ticklish kisses. _

Gently pushing the baby bison off him, the animal proceeded to lumber around to Amon's back, where he collapsed. Amon tried to ignore him, but he started licking his hair into an upright position, and when he turned his head, licked his face again.

"You got your treat. Go back to your family." The sky bison returned to resting, and Amon was unprepared for the bison to use airbending to suck him backward, now positioned as if the bison were a pillow. Amon struggled to sit up, but when he did, he turned to the bison as if it were a misbehaved child. "I'm not playing games with you." The bison licked his hand. Amon was about to object to the bison again, but realized that he was talking to an animal. _Just like the good old days_, he thought bitterly. He relaxed. "You know, you remind me of an old friend. He was a wooly pig named Woogu. He was born right around when I was born, and he was my best friend. He used to lick me like you do. Once a year, my father and I would shave his coat so we could sell it to the local merchants." Amon frowned. "It all changed when I was six, when the firebender Triad members started bothering my family."

_At six years old, Amon was stuck between an opening mind and the nativity children cling to. It was early morning, the sun rising with a procession of oranges and pinks. Amon had just given the animals their breakfast, and he'd noticed his father leading Woogu, a frown on his face._

_"Daddy, where are you taking Woogu?" Amon asked, his stomach knotting. _

_"We're going to sell him, Amon. Times are getting tough."_

_Amon shut his eyes, willing his tears to stay at bay. He knew what his father meant by selling. He'd heard the squeals of terror from the barn and watched his father come back with a rag over his knife. Nausea filled the pit in Amon's stomach. He snatched the leash from his father._

_"You're not taking Woogu! He's a member of the family and he's my friend. You can't hurt him."_

_"Amon, I'm not going to hurt him."_

_"Don't lie to me! I know you're going to kill him and sell him to the mean firebenders. I won't let you. He's my pet, not someone's dinner."_

_Amon's father threw his hand out and grabbed a portion of the leash. "You don't understand what's happening right now. I know it's hard to lose a friend, but I told you not to get connected with the animals anyway. Spirits, I've told you hundreds of times! Now let go of the leash."_

_Tears welled in Amon's eyes. "You can't do this to him. Woogu's part of our family. You said so yourself. We treat all family equally. If you're going to kill Woogu, you need to kill me too."_

_Amon's father's eyes widened. "Amon, never say that again! You're a person, and the wooly pig is an animal."_

_"His. Name. Is. Woogu."_

_Amon knelt down and wrapped his arms around the shaking wooly pig. "For the last time, get off the pig and let me do my job. Do you think this is easy for me? The Triad is getting more demanding, and this pig hasn't been producing a good quota of wool anyway. The Triad asked for some pork, so that's what they're getting, no questions asked. When you get older, you'll understand what a sacrifice is. Would you rather I let your mother get hurt? This is our family, Amon! Me, your mother, you, and any other children we may have. Not this damn pig. Now let go of it before I have to force you off him myself."_

_Tears rolled down Amon's cheeks and into Woogu's wool. "I love him, Daddy. Please don't do this. You're not mean like the Triad. Woogu's like my brother, and he's always been there for me. He doesn't deserve to die. Why should he be treated worse than the other wooly pigs? All the wooly pigs should be treated equally, and you never hurt them. You're just doing this because you—"_

_Amon's father grabbed the leash and shoved it toward him, knocking Amon's face into the dirt. He offered Amon a hand, but he swatted it away. "Amon, please, you'll understand some day."_

_He wiped the dirt off and tried to run at his father again, but his mother came out of nowhere and held her young son back. He kicked and bit, but his mother held a strong grip on him, despite the tears running down her cheeks. "GET BACK HERE! IF YOU HURT WOOGU, I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!" He struggled more, crying out in pain and frustration. "Let go of me, Mommy. Daddy's gonna hurt Woogu. I have to save him!"_

_She nestled her son to her chest. "I'm sorry, Amon."_

_"NO! You can't be with him! You can't let him hurt him!" Amon's mother let him go once she was sure Amon's father had locked the barn door. "I HATE YOU!"_

Phantom grief from that childhood horror still stung. He swallowed, making sure there wasn't a lump in his throat. It had been silly that he loved that wooly pig so much. He deserved to have his love thrown back in his face. He bit his lip; it was only a few days later that the Triad member killed his parents. He thought back to Woogu, to the animal's big brown eyes and how he had the funniest walk and how soft he was. His mother made him a shirt made of Woogu's wool, and Amon refused to take it off until it smelled vile and his mother would rip it off him to wash it.

He could still remember the scream of pain that came out of Woogu the morning he was slaughtered. As a child, the sound had haunted him, and how he'd turned to a sniveling mess outside his father's door. His father had come out with blood running down his hands and tears down his cheeks. Even so, Amon's childish hatred burned as he saw him.

"I never saw Woogu after that. Mom offered to give Woogu a grave, but I said Dad wouldn't come, so I didn't want one." He shook his head, his thoughts moving away from his dead parents onto the Triad. His tone turned embittered, angry even. "They were horrible men—monsters even. I bet they turned Woogu into roast pork without the batting of an eyelash." Even decades and lifetimes later, the thought of his old pet being turned into someone's dinner still made him queasy. He fumbled to his feet, and looked down at the baby bison he spilled more of his childhood to than any human. "You should probably get back to the other sky bison."

Amon picked another apple and led the little bison back to its siblings and one of the Air Alcolytes.

"Thank you for finding this little guy." The sister caring for the sky bison said. She looked down at the little bison. "Come on, Woogu, let's go."

Amon shook his head, sure his mind was somewhere else. "What's his name?"

She petted the bison's head. "Woogi."


	10. Bloodied Ties

**A/N: **Greetings, all! I hope everyone who has been reading this fic has been thoroughly enjoying it!

Oh, and this is kind of awkward, but the content of chapters 9 and 10 bled into my mind, and I realized that it should be **WARNING: THIS chapter contains brief but graphic description of violence.**

* * *

Amon wasn't sure how, but walking back into the house, he felt both exhausted and completely energized.

"Where could you have possibly been for this long?" Emi asked when Amon walked in.

"Made friends with a sky bison and he wouldn't let me leave."

Emi laughed. "You and animals bonding? It sounds too good to be true."

Amon pulled his boots off. "I'm a farm boy, remember that. I'm actually really good with animals."

"What kind of animals did your family raise?"

He tossed the boots aside. "Pig hybrids."

Emi nodded. "Local roast pork always was the best."

Amon tried to brush off his discomfort with the comment. "Wouldn't know." She crinkled her brow at him. "I uh, don't eat pork."

Emi frowned. "Sorry, I didn't realize you didn't. I figured since you—"

Amon shrugged. "It's an easy assumption. Don't worry." He looked to her. "So did you finally learn how to make fruit pies or did they reveal that it's a strictly Air Nomad secret?"

She shook her head. "Nope, just that my lack of inner peace would probably result in it not being its top quality."

"Interesting."

Emi lightly pushed him. "I was kidding." She paused to watch him and his seemingly extreme distraction with his fiddling with his clothing. "What're you thinking about?"

"How much I want you right now."

She smirked. "You could've just asked." She pushed him down into a lying position on the bed he was sitting on and pulled off his shirt. Impatience took over, and Amon wriggled out of his pants and underwear. Emi chuckled. "For someone so spiritual, you're not patient in bed."

He smirked. "Do you blame me?"

She pulled off her top and allowed Amon's still a bit shaky hands to pull off her bottom clothing. "Well, I _am_ pretty irresistible."

Amon showered her neck upwards in kisses, his tongue then poking eagerly into her mouth. Emi responded positively, and figured she'd let Amon take the reins. With every move he made, it was if he was determined to hit every sensory spot in her mouth, running along each tooth, the soft palate at the top of her mouth, and almost so far into her throat that she would've gagged. Even in those slightly unsure moments, all she would do is lightly bump her tongue against his. Like a moose lion having a small rock thrown at it, it didn't do much for Amon besides stun him for a few seconds before returning to what he was doing before the distraction.

Emi could still sense his inexperience from just the way he couldn't keep foreplay up for more than a few minutes, slipping his tongue back into his mouth while taking Emi's hips and moving them into a more optimal position. She kissed the tip of his nose as his features scrunched in that Amon-serious concentration.

"Mmm, what can I do for you, Em?" Amon mumbled as they pulled together.

"No worries about me. We have all night, right?"

"Just tell me one hint to you."

"Told you, talk to me."

They caught a similar rhythm, and Amon pulled Emi against his chest, her head resting so he could whisper in her ear. A bit of anxiety crept into Amon as he realized that he wouldn't get as lucky as the first time with Emi.

"You've changed me, Em. I hope you know that. I used to never let people get this close, and now, with you…" He stroked her cheek as they picked up speed. "Spirits, this is just too much sometimes. Take me, Em. Just take me from this old life I led."

"Oh, I'll take you _far_ beyond your old life…"

He shut his eyes, the ecstasy moments away. His breath hitched as the moments fled. Just as Emi had done, he dug his own filed down fingernails into her shoulders. She gasped when he dug them fully in her shoulders and his breath played on her neck. "Spirits Em, I _love_ you…"

She could sense his unwinding. "Don't forget to p—"

He moaned into her ear, and, although there was a nearly climactic pleasure from Amon's orgasm, she couldn't help but feel the mood cracking.

"Amon?"

"Hmm?" he replied, still recovering.

"You didn't pull out. Again."

Amon hadn't cleared his head enough to care. Instead, he pulled her into a kiss. "Stop worrying."

She pushed him away and pulled herself away from me. "No, spirits, you don't get it. We _do_ need to worry." She sighed. "Put your pants on, I can't tell you this naked."

Wholly uncomfortable with the mood Emi had sunk into, Amon pulled on a frown as well as his clothing. "Get on with it."

"Amon…I've been keeping something from you…about my family." She took a deep breath. "My father was an active member in the Moon Monster Triad when we were kids." Amon's stomach clenched. "He…he was the leader, actually. He…well, he…he killed your parents."

Images flashed by his head of the tall, dark haired man with the muscled shoulders who had burned his face. He could still hear the man's voice with its growling pitch and the way sarcasm dripped off the word _non-bender_ when he spoke to a young Amon. He remembered the man's eyes, and how they were darker than the yellow-gold of most people of Fire Nation heritage, but rather a honey gold like Princess Azula's eyes. When he looked up at Emi, he saw the same honey gold.

"Why did you tell me this now?" he demanded, his voice low and forcefully controlled. He'd lost his true calm demeanor the moment he tried to kill that Earth Kingdom boy, maybe even the moment his mask broke.

"Please Amon, don't take this as an attack or act of malice from me. I only kept it from me because I wanted to redeem my family and treat you like the person my father should've treated you as. I don't hate non-benders like my father. You know that. I don't even like bending. All my life, my father made my bending a point to mold me in his image, but I never wanted to be a killer like him. Please Amon, I know I should've told you sooner—"

He couldn't dare to look at her, disgust blinding him. "I trusted you. Spirits know I trusted you. What was this for you? A trip so you could lessen your guilt at your legacy? I meant nothing to you, and I bet I still don't."

"I do care about you."

He shook his head. "No, no, you know what, I'm glad you told me. Someone needed to clear my head from this nonsense I've taken on in the past few days. What was I thinking? Sleeping with a bender, let alone a firebender. Thank you, Emi, for reminding me exactly why benders can't be trusted."

He stood and walked to the door. "Can you hear a word I'm saying? I didn't become close to you so you could cast me aside as any bender. I knew you held a grudge against benders the moment I recognized you as the farmer's boy. I came with you so I could learn my father's mistakes, and see exactly what that kind of violence did to people. So yes, I wanted to make myself feel less like a monster, but it was also for you. Don't deny it, Leader of the Equalists: you slept with me even though you knew I'm a bender. You don't really care as much as you say that I'm a bender."

He pushed open the door. "You've got some nerve trying to lecture me on how I dealt with what I went through. This balance between our families isn't equal, in case you haven't noticed. Your father murdered my parents and took my face. You're disgusting, just like your father was."

Amon turned around. "Spirits, you are so stubborn sometimes. Why don't you look me in the eyes and try to hear me out. I gave up my bending for you! Does that mean _anything_ to you? I don't know why I thought you were different, that somehow _you_ could see that I'm not just my dad's daughter."

Amon squeezed his eyes shut. "Blood's the strongest connection any of us have. You didn't see them that night, but I did. Mom had told me a week or so before that she was pregnant. _Your father_ didn't stop at a killing blow to the chests or however it is you firebenders kill. No, he wouldn't stop until he'd cooked them alive. When I found them, they were creatures out of a nightmare. They were barely meatier than skeletons, with charred bits of flesh hanging off their bones like a moo-sow after a village feast, chunks of organs still lay in their ribcages, intestines going from grey red to sizzling into a burned crisp, the clothing somehow able to show only the most gruesome parts. Their faces—oh, it was one of the worst parts. Teeth were the only real parts that stayed intact, but covered in black, half baked lips falling off the skin, noses a few flesh specks and the black holes, eyes a pile of melted vanilla ice cream with the pupils sunk into the mess or gone all together." He sucked in a breath. "Mom was burned so badly that I could see inside her womb and see the fetus. The fetus' face was half burned off, showing its cartilage face and its right eye was in full view as the sphere it was. Its hand was burned to a skeleton, and I could see the half-finished innards only warmed."

He turned back to face her. "You father was a monster, and you're a fool to think the wounds of the past can be healed with a stupid love affair between the witness generations." He moved to leave, but her hand clasped his arm. "Let go of me, or I'll take this as you wanting to fight me. I'll gladly accept. If my honor's in shreds, what's left than to do whatever I deem necessary to get it back?"

She let go of Amon's arm, and he broke into a sprint out. Tears threatened to pour out of Emi's eyes.

"Go ahead and run like the coward you are! Don't think I'm going to go chasing after you!" she yelled into the darkness.

All common sense spilled out of Amon's mind as he ran, his only coherent thought being a need to get away from Emi and her legacy. He ran through the temples, eventually getting so concerned with escaping that he took to running on the edges of walkways. The vertigo from his ears returned with a vengeance, rocking the world as he ran. Right before he was to jump back onto solid ground on a walkway between temples, his balance tipped him to the left and off the wall.

He was registering his feet losing contact with the wall when he hit the grass and dirt floor fifteen or twenty feet below. Luckily, his shoulder took the brute of the impact, his head and neck taking the aftereffects. Dazed, he looked up and watched as the world continued to toss as if he were still on the boat in the open ocean. His shoulder sent a shot of pain through his body, and knocked it against the floor until it stopped hurting.

He looked up again, but the world hadn't steadied itself. He groaned and shut his eyes, hoping the unsteady vision would go away. His head ached, but he wasn't sure if he was feeling that pain or the one in his shoulder.

He opened them once more, only to find his sense begin to cut out one by one. What little hearing he had shut off. He wasn't sure what went next, but even with his eyes open, he felt like he was in a dream state, like he was seconds from falling asleep. He shut his eyes, letting his body skip a step.

* * *

Amon woke up with nearly every muscle in his body aching, his mouth with the distinct tastes of dirt and blood. He spat out the blood, but knew the dirt taste would be sticking around. Pushing through the pain, he sat up.

If he'd tumbled another fifty feet, he would've fallen off the cliff. All in front of him lay what was once a lower balcony, but plants had transformed it nearly back into the field the stone sat on. He glanced behind his shoulder at the wall he'd fallen off of the night before. He winced, not remembering it being so high.

He glanced to the side, and saw the guru headed toward him. It was a wonder that the man could keep finding him, but Amon let it slide.

"Quite an interesting meditation spot," he commented as he sat down.

Amon coughed a pathetic dry cough. "Do you have any water?"

He handed Amon a canteen, and he drank gratefully. "So, my friend, what do you say to unlocking that third chakra today?"

Amon's shoulders slumped; he couldn't imagine any of his emotions willing to flow down the metaphorical creek. "What does it involve?"

"The fire chakra, located in the stomach. It deals with willpower, and is blocked by shame."

Amon's stomach lurked; shame was a domineering emotion in his mind, and he couldn't bear to meditate on it. "I um, I don't think I'm ready to meditate on that yet."

Guru Zopa raised an eyebrow. "Are you shameful?"

He nodded. "I'm overwhelmed with it."

"Perhaps talking about it will help? If you won't face your shame head on, try to touch its edges, for now at least. Like I said, this process can take as long as you want it to take." The guru took a meditative position. "Give your shames a name."

Amon took a deep breath, still barely sitting up. "Where do you want me to start?"

"Name your biggest shame. The one that turned your fire chakra from mildly mucked up to clogged and oozing spiritual muck."

It was strange to think that there was a spot on his stomach oozing spiritual muck, and he guessed it theoretically was very ugly. For the first time since he was a kid, he actually felt the shame washing over him. He couldn't look at the guru. "I betrayed my dead family. I was blinded by lust and…slept with the daughter of the man who practically roasted my parents to death. My honor's gone, and…I know you're from the Earth Kingdom, but in the Fire Nation, honor is just about all anyone cares about."

The guru chuckled. "The Fire Nation and their honor obsession has always been funny to me, but I'm glad you brought it up. So, can you fully sit up, Amon?" He pulled himself into a cross-legged position. "So you think that you should be shameful of your supposed love affair with the daughter of your parents' murderer, right?" Amon nodded. "Why is that so? Has the daughter showed any signs of mirroring her father?"

"She has the potential."

"How so?"

He bit his lip, but let it go, realizing how childish that habit was. "She's a firebender, and so was he. She fights with a lack of control. Actually, her whole demeanor is based on a lack of forward planning and control. Without a conscience and control, how can I not be wary of her?"

"I don't mean to disrespect you, but I think you're pulling excuses out of the air. It's nothing to be shameful of, what you did. Even so, I can understand where this kind of opinion would've sprung. Amon, if you can't see a direct link between your parents' murderer and his daughter, you shouldn't treat the daughter as her father."

"But my parents…how can they look at me as anything but shameful? Out of the millions of girls in this world, I pick this one."

"Your parents would be cruel to set restrictions on your happiness. If they are people worth caring about, they would be happy that you found love with a good girl." Amon stayed silent. "Allow your shame to flow out. Accept that you're a man, and your love for this woman is nothing more than normal and something that should be treasured, not scrutinized. What we're born with doesn't make us."

Amon shut his eyes and tried to let the shame pass.

Tried.

He honestly tried, but it was as if he was throwing his soul into the chakra creek. How could he just throw his loyalty to his parents and his morals out just like that? It was a mistake to have slept with a bender, and not even the lust-filled whisper in the back of his head could defer him from that. He opened his eyes.

"I can't do it. I can't let my shame go."

The guru didn't show any signs of disappointment, which somehow only made Amon feel worse. "Like I said, there's no reason to make the process quicker than it needs to be." He stood. "I'll be around if you want to unlock it. Don't rush yourself."

Days passed and Amon didn't leave that spot. Woogi the sky bison sniffed Amon out and would bring water and onion-banana juice with him, thanks to the guru. Despite him being a solitary person in general, he found the isolation unnerving. He'd go between meditating with little success to contemplating exactly how he'd nursed his bender hatred.

_"Mommy, do you think you'd be happier if you were a firebender?" Amon asked his mother a few weeks before things started going downhill._

_Amon's mother crinkled her brow. "Why would I be happier?"_

_"Because benders are more powerful and can do neat tricks."_

_She slid her hand up and down his back. "Do you wish you were a bender?" He shrugged. "To be honest, I don't know what I'd do if I got bending. It's just not a part of who I am, and I think benders would feel the same way if they lost their bending."_

How ironic, how her mother's tolerance of benders had turned to a drawing plan for his own revolution against them. It had never even occurred to him that his parents might not approve of what he'd done to the world.

Yet, how could they _dislike_ it? All he wanted was for everyone to be treated equally, for non-benders to have their voices heard. Sure, maybe his means weren't ideal. He had taken away a supposed piece of benders' lives, and maybe he had left them a little lost, like if his mother had gained bending all of the sudden. He could recall people calling his movement terrorism. Could terrorism really have a good message attached to it? Was it possible that he'd gone along the wrong lines to equality?

He shook his head. He'd used the exact tactic Koh and Wan Shi Tong asked of him: fear. They were spirits; they couldn't possibly have suggested something wrong. What had they said about benders and their place in the world? They'd asked him to usher in a new era of non-bending, yet they had to know that his power only allowed temporary freedom from benders. They knew that all Amon would be doing would be scaring benders for a certain amount of time, almost like teaching a misbehaved child.

It wasn't wrong to punish a misbehaved child. It wasn't wrong to take away benders' bending if they weren't using it for the purpose the spirits had originally intended it for. He and all the other non-benders were the innocent, bystander child. Was it wrong to think lower of the misbehaved child? Was it wrong for him to hate all benders simply because he had been told to reprimand them? Should the punisher hate the misbehaved child in order for the child to learn, or would acceptance have worked better?

Amon broke out of his trance, picked up a stray rock, and threw it over the cliff. That didn't even make sense! How could he take away bending yet still accept benders? How could he possibly care for his fellow non-benders while not resenting the very people who oppressed them?

_A few months after Hiroshi Sato agreed to secretly fund the Equalists, Amon sat in the rundown apartment he shared with his most trusted subordinate, an Earth Kingdom native whom Amon had named Lieutenant, even from the day Amon walked into his small village and picked the nearly dead man off the dirt after local thugs had beaten him for trying to save his farm from being possessed. The two were sharing an increasingly abundant indulgence of a bottle of expensive sake wine Sato gave them as a gift for their work. _

_"What do you think of Asami, Hiroshi's daughter?" Amon asked as Lieutenant poured them each a serving of wine in cups hardly worthy of the beverage. _

_The Lieutenant raised an eyebrow, and wished he could see through Amon's mask, something he refused to take off, even when the Lieutenant could see Amon's black hair flowing out the mask and his casual clothing. Nothing about the twenty-year-old leader of the Equalists said armored leader yet, and the mask felt out of place. "You mean Sato's ten-year-old daughter?"_

_Amon nodded. "She's quite interesting, if you ask me."_

_The Lieutenant shifted in his seat and gulped down some of the wine. "I think I'm misinterpreting you, sir."_

_Amon lifted his mask and took a sip of wine. "Her psyche. You notice how she's so carefree and so clearly not against benders like her father? They suffered the same loss."_

_"Perhaps she just has the benefit of youth. Kids tend to block out traumatic events."_

_Amon knew this wasn't true; he could still clearly remember the charred skeletons of his parents and would-be sibling. "I don't think it has to do with youth. I think it's something about the way she thinks as an individual. It's tragic that she doesn't feel anything for her mother's death, yet I don't see her as a completely lost cause."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_Amon traced his fingertip around the rim of the cup, as if it'd make the same tune as a real wine glass. "She doesn't hold the anger and resentment people like you, Hiroshi, and I hold towards benders, yet she should. It baffles me, to be quite honest. Here's a young girl who lost her mother, her _mother_, and young girl's idol, and reacts with no more than apathy after several months. After the grief passes, I'd expect her to be cynical."_

_The Lieutenant shrugged. "There will always be traitors, sir. Non-benders who refuse to see benders as anything but great. There won't be enough of them to get in the way of your plans."_

_Amon took another sip, but waited until the mask was secure against his face before speaking. "I can see so much potential for her to turn to our views if Hiroshi would let me. If a girl doesn't feel anger that her mother died, convince her to feel guilty for not feeling angry." Amon stared at the glass and the clear liquid still in its container. "You know why he won't let me near her, don't you?" The Lieutenant shook his head. "He doesn't trust me. He trusts me with his money, but he doesn't trust me to talk to his daughter. Should I be insulted, Lieutenant? Why should Mr. Sato assume that I'd do anything inappropriate with his daughter just because I'm a young man? Do you look at me and think I'm anything more than a man with an idea?"_

_"I wouldn't know, sir. I can't see your face." Amon smiled for a moment, but let it slide off when he took off his mask. By age twenty, the scars were no more than marks across his cheeks barely deeper than a layer of skin. If he wanted, he could cover them with makeup. "You look like a spirit's soldier, sir. No average, lust-obsessed degenerate."_

_Amon picked up his glass and dumped the remaining wine down his throat. _

_"It's gonna be a pathetic day when Asami turns to the enemy because her father refused to accept her differing morals," Amon muttered as he slammed his glass down. _

Asami had taught him a valuable lesson in the ways of some non-benders. She'd suffered a tragedy caused directly by non-benders, yet had developed an appreciation for benders, a hatred for non-benders, even. Well, Equalists, anyway. What had caused her to walk another path? Was Asami betraying her fellow non-benders by not supporting the Equalists? Amon didn't hate non-benders because they didn't support him; a good leader never hates those who he fights to protect.

What would he have told Asami if he'd been given the chance, whether it have been when she was ten or when she was eighteen? In those solitary moments, he couldn't think of a single solid argument to having Asami switch causes. Yes, he was sure that Asami wasn't being treated the same as her bender "friends," but that didn't mean that they hadn't treated her with care. Non-benders did have their places among benders, and Asami had fulfilled that, considering Avatar Korra and her pack didn't fail miserably in taking back Republic City.

He looked up at the sky, surprised to find it already blackened by night. He yawned and laid himself down in the grass. As he let sleep take over, he couldn't help remember some dream as a result of a night of too much celebratory drinking from the Equalists' early years that had scripted his advice to Asami:

_I don't want you to become an Equalist. What I really want out of this movement is the idea. Equality. That's what I want from you: I want you to spread the message of equality, of a cease of fear from non-benders of benders, of non-benders having a voice in power, of non-bender children growing with the self-assurance that they can be just as great fighters._

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__**A/N: **I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! I actually think my favorite scene in this chapter would be the flashback with Amon and the Lieutenant at the end. I was always kind of sad when in LOK they never showed those two during their downtime. (Whether or not they were, erm, together or not) We're 4 more chapters from the end of this fic, so I hope everyone has found the story worthwhile. :)


	11. Tracing the Design

**A/N: **Not even school starting way too early will keep me from updating this story! As usual, I hope everyone is enjoying the fic and I hope the same positive feelings come from this chapter.

* * *

When Amon woke up, he looked down at the tick marks he'd made in the dirt to keep track of the days. It'd been four days, and, when he looked to his side, he saw a canteen and a bowl of onion-banana juice, just as always. It was humbling how kind the Air Alcolytes and Guru Zopa had been to him, but he wasn't sure how much closer he was to a breakthrough in his chakra block.

He thought back to that drunken dream he'd had years ago. There wasn't much to say about the conscious hours, only that there had been a time in his life when he drank to celebrate and that particular night, he'd toasted with a bottle. Nothing nefarious happened, and he passed out into that dream. On most days (including the morning after that particular night), he would've been disgusted with such soft advice as _spread equality_ and nothing else. It should've been meaningless; what were words without actions?

He rubbed his shoulder, which had begun throbbing from an awkward sleeping position. There was something poetic about his mind when he wasn't himself. The world he wanted to describe to Asami was a beautiful one, yet a world that felt better in place in a far off fantasy. Thinking back to the vision he had when he lead the Equalists, it was nothing like the world he wanted to give Asami. No, the world he'd almost formed involved laws and punishments.

Some part of him was relieved that he hadn't reached that step.

If he shouldn't be angry at Asami for choosing to side with the benders, did that mean that it was possible she wasn't doing everything wrong? What kind of enlightenment did Asami reach that he couldn't step to? He wished that Hiroshi had let him speak with her; there were so many things he wanted to ask her. How had she never felt anger toward benders, even after they killed her mother? _He'd_ even felt the pain of Mrs. Sato's death when he stared down her killer. How had she invited herself so far into bender society that she dated a firebender?

_Why ask her? _You_ slept with a firebender_, Amon reminded himself. He closed his eyes and tried to reach that spot he'd been in while having sex with Emi. Why hadn't he turned her down? He knew he had enough basic self-control that he could've rejected her even if he wanted the action. What had allowed him to trust her?

_Just one man and one woman._ He couldn't remember who'd said it, but the words stuck out in his head. That night, that's all they had been. Not once had she shown that she was anything more than a woman, and he showed no more than her. Was that what Asami had adopted when she began dating the firebender?

That night, Emi hadn't been a firebender, and she certainly hadn't been her father's daughter.

Amon took a deep breath. Maybe, just maybe, it was okay that he'd done what he'd done. He would've stepped up to find the guru, but the guru found him.

"You've got quite a skill for coming to me when I need you, don't you?" Amon commented.

The guru smiled. "Your aura is very demanding, and I noticed that it calmed while making my rounds. Are you ready?" Amon nodded. "If I may, let me offer you some modern-day logic." Amon looked to him. "You aren't a farmer, are you?"

"No."

"But your father was?"

"Yes."

"Well, your friend's father was a Triad leader and that doesn't mean she is. Now, let all your shame run out of your mind."

Amon let the feelings of the past few days float away, and his eyelids seemed to feel lighter as he opened them. He turned to the guru and smiled. "You're amazing."

"I'm simply guiding you. It's you who's been doing the amazing feats."

Amon took a moment to take in his surroundings once more: the muted scent of the grass, the beating sun, and the cloudless blue sky. "Could we keep going? I think I'm ready for the next chakra."

"Did you have your onion-banana juice today?"

Amon glanced at the bowl and pulled it toward him. "Do you just use this to amuse yourself?"

"Partially." Amon still wore the grimace as he drank. "You haven't acquired the taste yet?"

"And I don't think I will."

Guru Zopa chuckled. "Don't be cynical." Once Amon looked ready, the guru continued speaking. "The fourth chakra is the air chakra, located in the heart. It deals with love, and is blocked by grief."

Images passed like a shuffling deck of cards: his mother, his father, and even Woogu.

"Incredible how few you've loved enough to feel their loss," the guru commented. Amon opened his eyes. "Do you know why some people are able to continue on with their lives after the death of a loved one?" Amon shook his head. "The part of us that mourns is really just an empty part of us that was once filled with love. People accept death because they allow the love now soaring around them to come back in the form of new love. You never let people into your life enough to ever truly fill the void losing your parents and pet left. Have you felt love in your life, but failed to acknowledge it?"

Two images popped into his head, one of a girl in her early teens with lighter brown hair cut short and her face half covered in Kyoshi Warrior makeup. The other…was Asami Sato when he was a young girl and had first smiled at him when they caught gazes in the halls of Sato's mansion.

"I know you may be confused by the image of the young girl. Not all love is necessarily romantic love, like with the Kyoshi Warrior. But, what's the first image's story?"

"I learned to chi block on Kyoshi Island and she was one of the Kyoshi Warriors. They were all non-benders, so even then I didn't mind her, and a lot of the girls crushed on me because I was charming and showed off a lot. We had one night together, but I had to leave for the desert the next day." Amon paused. "Even so, I wasn't thinking romantically while with her."

"And the young girl?"

Amon shrugged. "I was drawn by the way she lived her life. Everyone before her that I met had always been bitter to benders after the death of loved ones. She never was. I wanted to care for her, help her at least come to a more solid place in life, but I denied myself the opportunity because I had to stay cold in order to lead the revolution. I became apathetic to her by the time she betrayed her father."

"But you have let love in now, haven't you? Did you notice a mentally good feeling after being with Emi?" Amon nodded. "It's that void being filled up. Now, close your eyes, and imagine that pain of loss flowing away."

The pain, the crying, and the hopeless feelings—he let them all go, imagining Emi's face. When he opened his eyes again, there was an unfamiliar warm, fluttering feeling in his stomach.

"Spirits Guru Zopa, I think I'm in love…" he said as he covered his eyes with his hand.

The guru chuckled. "There's nothing wrong with that."

Amon lifted his head. "Yeah, if I ignore that she hates me now."

"Give it time. Two chakras are enough for today. If all goes well, we'll open chakra five and six tomorrow. Seven needs a day on its own."

Amon spent the rest of the day icing his shoulder and talking with the sister who cared for the sky bison.

"Woogi really likes you," the sister commented as the baby sky bison once again walked up to Amon and collapsed.

"He thinks I'm gonna give him food."

The baby bison stuck out its tongue and began licking Amon's hair again, and the sister laughed. "She must think you're her baby."

Amon once again tried to push the bison off him. "Anything else, just get the bison to stop licking me before my hair's permanently stuck like this."

"You know, bison spit turns to glue when it's left in for more than thirty seconds." Amon stared at her in horror before she broke down giggling. "So I guess you don't know everything."

"I don't remember saying I did."

The sister smirked a bit. "You either are or were very cocky at one point." She studied Amon. "Now that I think about it, I think life beat the cockiness out of you."

"Bludgeoned is more like it."

"What do you look forward to in life?"

_Gaining my powers, Koh's approval, and my honor back. _"Nothing. Maybe Emi forgiving me."

They stayed silent for a few minutes. "You know, the lack of spirituality in this day and age is awful. You know you're the only Fire Nation native who's ever been able to reach the spiritual level you have? People have stopped going to temples, and events like Pro Bending make a mockery out of an ancient art. Do you think there's any hope in us returning to a more appreciative place?"

"I was supposed to be the solution to that."

"What did the spirits think about Avatar Korra and her lack of spirituality?"

"They said she failed the world. I can't help but agree."

"You really don't like her, do you?"

Amon looked her right in the eyes. "I've come to realize something: it's not the benders that are the problem, it's the person who's supposed to be keeping the two sides in balance. Korra is not my Avatar. She's not the non-benders' Avatar. She's let us be abused, oppressed, and killed because we don't have some power. Actually, you know what? The moment I knew she stopped being my Avatar was when I looked back after escaping Republic City and it occurred to me that not once had she even thought to just _talk_ and try to find a compromise for the benders and non-benders. If she can't figure out that basic Avatar duty at seventeen after knowing of her identity since age four, I doubt she'll ever gain it. So now she's showing her true colors—without three elements and her past lives, forced to scrounge up whatever spirituality still exists in this world and hope that they aren't as bitter as me or the ancient spirits about the turn of the world."

"Sounds like a pretty harsh punishment."

"It's what the world needs."

* * *

Amon was surprised by how easily unlocking the sound and light chakras: a quick talk about how he lied about his death and a bit of confirmation that benders themselves weren't the problem, but the Avatar, Amon's new working theory.

"This is my last bowl, right?" Amon asked as he lifted a bowl of onion-banana juice to his lips.

The guru rolled his eyes. "Yes." Once everything was said, the guru explained the last chakra. "Your final obstacle to face is the thought chakra, located at the crown of the head, that deals with cosmic energy and is blocked by earthly attachments. Once you clear this chakra, you'll have reached a state of enlightenment, thus making visitation into the Spirit World a feasibly possible feat."

Amon began mediation, quick images passed of the Equalists, his parents, and Emi. He took a deep breath allowed the insight from the illusion of death and spirit and earth to fall away. He wasn't sure what the feeling was, but it was almost the lightweight feeling of flying with the sisters on one of the sky bison bareback.

"You've reached spiritual enlightenment. Perhaps your lack of connections wasn't the worst thing for you."

Amon opened his eyes. "I simply learned from a wise teacher. Thank you."

"No, thank _you_ for giving me hope in the world again. I haven't helped a non-Air Alcolyte student in what feels like a lifetime. You're a very wise man yourself. I hope your spiritual journey comes to a good end. Would you like some time alone to meditate?"

Amon nodded, and let himself pull the reins connecting him to earth thin, ready to find the Spirit World.

Hours passed. The morning light that he'd opened his chakra in turned to black and rose into light again. Amon opened his tired eyes, trying to keep his frustration at bay. _It's not an easy task to enter the Spirit World_. He tried to clear his thoughts to enter another meditative trance, but exhaustion pushed him toward sleep instead.

When he woke up, and he dragged himself to his feet and walked back toward the houses, sick of the simplistic and lonely atmosphere of the abandoned areas. The house was empty when he walked in, seeing if maybe Koh had left him a clue (doubting the possibility the whole time). He shuffled through his few belongings, still no more than some clothing and…the mask. The cheap mask he'd bought from that town in the United Nations. It was white, about the shade his old one was.

He slipped the mask into his hand and walked back out to the outer area of the convent buildings. He stared at the relatively similar nose mold and the too-small eyeholes. It didn't have a mouth.

So it had been a mask that kept his connection to Koh. Was it possible that he needed to forge that connection himself? He flipped the mask around, looking at the smooth surface of its concave side. Even then, he could remember those moments where his own sweat had become an adhesive to the mask and it came off his face with a _pop_, and his hair would them proceed to stick to his face where the mask had left chaffing marks. In a way, he was relieved that his skin could breathe.

In a moment of inspiration, he pulled out his shuriken and carved a mouth hole exactly as his old one had looked. A bit of hope rose in him, and he proceeded to make the eyeholes the proper size as well.

The mask was the right shape, but it still needed the design. He walked out to the stream the guru always talked about and scooped some mud from its banks. After a bit of layering, the mud stuck in the curves design around his forehead, cheeks, and chin. He bit his lip, puzzled over how to address the red dot in the middle of the mask.

The material came quickly to him, and he took his index finger and dug it into his canine until blood was drawn. From there, he drew a dot on the mask, squeezing his finger to get more blood to ooze out. It took a few instances of a bitten tongue, but his little cut produced enough blood to make the dot.

He took a deep breath, stuck the mask on, and fell into meditation.

Something was different, something that made him smile from under the mask.

* * *

**A/N: **This story has almost come full circle! If there's anything you think I could've improved about the character/pace/plot, please tell me. Or, if nothing else, I'd love to hear other thoughts on the chapter and story itself. Thanks to everyone reading and reviewing already.


	12. A Clean Slate

The moment Amon dropped into the Spirit World, he was surprised to find how disorientating it was. He landed in a marsh-like environment, and when he looked around, the already surreal area was spinning. He clamped his eyes shut and waited until the blackness stopped moving. After a few deep breaths, he opened his eyes again. The place he'd landed in wasn't in his memory, yet he somehow knew where he was.

Slowly pulling himself to his feet, he glanced down at his appearance in a river of some sort that reflected a tan brown, reflecting the red-brown twists of the trees. Rings ran from the trees that touched the water continuously, despite a lack of disturbance.

In the water, he saw what had become an old friend: his mask he put on was still present, but his clothing had turned back into the black sleeveless trench coat, the dark pants, knee-high boots with the kneepads, shoulder pads, wrist cuffs, and the hood obscuring his hair. He looked like a monster again, and he couldn't have been more relieved. _I'm not letting you steal my face this time, Koh._

By the time he reached the mouth of Koh's lair, fear had its claws on his ankles and was ready to snatch him: his heart was pounding, his hands were shaking, and felt the need to swallow every few seconds. No matter how many times he'd dealt with Koh, that fear never really went away. There was no denying that Koh was a malevolent spirit who found amusement in prodding emotions out of victims and stealing their faces.

He took a deep breath and put on a straight face for old time's sake. He walked in to the always-darkened cave, and expected Koh when he slid in from behind.

"Why, hello again, young one," he said, his first face being the Water Tribe woman's.

"Hello, master," Amon said with a quick bow.

Koh stood so his full centipede form loomed over Amon before crushing Amon in an embrace, his stick arms lightly touching Amon's back. "I've missed our constant chatter." Koh released the embrace. "You're just like a dog, Amon. No matter how far I throw the stick, you always bring it back to me." The face changed to the black and white Noh mask. "And look at how big you've grown in spirit. You made it here by yourself, didn't you? I hope you didn't go through too much trouble to reach me."

Koh made a full circle around Amon. "I didn't, master. No obstacles are too big for me."

"What did you come here for?" He chuckled. "I know I wasn't expecting this visit."

Amon swallowed. "I came here as a humble servant, asking for your forgiveness and a second chance. I'll make it up to you. I'll take away the Avatar's bending once and for all. She's the problem with this world, not the benders. She hasn't dealt with the imbalance in the world."

Koh frowned. "Amon, my dear boy, I have some regretful news. I truly didn't have a place for you the moment your mask broke. I have no control over your greatest power. How could you have not realized that your ability to take bending came from Wan Shi Tong, not me?" The frowned flipped to a smile as his face changed to the curly tailed blue nose. "Of course, if you want Wan Shi Tong, I'm sure he'd love to finish you, make you a nice wall piece."

"You must be able to do something, master. I don't need the owl's powers. I can still take away her bending. Physical means. Mangle her arms and legs and she's virtually powerless."

Koh fully wrapped himself around Amon, and Amon could feel his slimy skin slid across his bare hands. "Dear Amon, please, listen to an old spirit. You served me well. You truly did. However, my plans have altered, and I'm afraid that I have no more for you to do. My plans for our young Avatar are more along the lines of what I did to Avatar Kuruk. You taught me a valuable lesson, young one: humans, simply, are not everlasting. Don't take it personally. You're what you are."

"Please Koh, please. I have nothing more than you. Everything about me depends on you. I've come so far. You can't just abandon me."

Koh tightened his grip around Amon's body. "It's not like you to beg, Amon. Besides, what's wrong with what you've got? You've become so connected with the physical world, even with your spiritual connection. This may amaze you, but I do want what's best for you, and you've found a good place in the physical world. You've been so loyal, and I can't hurt you even with my plans. You and I are no longer connected, young one. I've let you go, now you must let yourself go."

"I'm your soldier. You promised me that I'd be something bigger than just another human."

Koh unwrapped himself, took one circle around the back of his cave, and came back within inches of Amon's face. "I'm noticing something with you, Amon. Something…quite disturbing. I noticed it a bit with the swamp. You're…power hungry. It's something common with humans, but I thought you'd be immune to it." Koh's breath was beginning to make Amon nauseous, and his face had changed to the blue Noh mask. _Keep a straight face._ "I'm not pleased to discover this, young one."

"I hadn't—I'm sorry, master."

Koh backed up a bit. "Amon, I think I've been too involved in your life. You did you job, and you deserve a clean slate."

"What are you gonna do?"

Koh's face turned to an old man's face. "Just take back your mask, take away the physical reminder."

Amon watched in silence as the mask disappeared from his face and appeared where Koh kept his faces. For the first time, he could see his own gold eyes in the mask and watch as its mouth turned into a twisted smile.

"Smile, little one. I promise I won't hurt you." Scared and figuring it was better to follow Koh's order than show fear, he forced a smile. "But, _this_ may sting a little. Goodbye, young one. For your sake, I hope we never meet again."

The pain started in Amon's left eye, and it felt somewhat similar to having it cooked over an open fire. He held a scream in, and felt the pain rage until it shut off the vision in his left eye like a broken light bulb, and proceeded to spread to the rest of his face.

* * *

Several Air Alcolytes, the guru, and Emi followed Amon's cries and found him huddled in a ball, his hands covering his face, unable to suppress his whimpers and screams. Emi looked to the sister who had last talked to Amon with the bison.

"What's wrong with him?" she asked.

She shook her head, and Amon choked out one broken phrase. "The mask…"

The mask he spoke of was on the floor, with dirt and blood dripping down and cracking off. "What about it?"

"G-Give it to me!" Hesitantly, Emi picked it up and held it a few feet from him, still in shock.

"Amon, what's—"

"GIVE ME THE MASK!" he yelled through a cry of pain.

He tied the straps with shaking fingers and stumbled to his feet, realizing in that instant that he was half blind. His face burned like it was still covered in fire. Tears welled in the one eye that could still produce them. The pain was unbearable, but he ran. _This isn't happening. This isn't my face. This isn't my face. _

He ran until he reached a cliff, stopping a few feet from it.

Some stirring deep within him told him to keep walking until he was walking on air. Still in agony, his leg moved as if dragging through two feet of solid mud, as if he was being bloodbent again. But, just as when he resisted the bloodbending, he stepped forward and kept walking.

* * *

**A/N: **You know, I forgot that this chapter was so short...Or, well, short for my standards (I usually write my own fiction, in which chapters range from 3,000-5,000 words). I hope everyone enjoyed the climax of this story, and are excited for the last two updates. For literary nerds like me, I love how this fic managed to have the parallelism between here and the first chapter.


	13. A Soothed Burn

"Amon!" He tried to ignore Emi's call and just get the pain over with, but some human, lovesick, and scared part of him stopped walking. "I know you're hurt. I know you think this is the end, but please…spirits, I can't do this. I can't—Amon, I'm sorry I didn't chase after you. I'm sorry I couldn't convince you not to visit Koh. I don't know what he did to you, but if you're in this much pain—physically and mentally—it couldn't have been good."

"He brought me back to the moment after your father burned me."

Emi finally connected the screams of Amon to her father, and her eyes filled with tears. "My father was a monster, Amon, I know. And I know how alone you must feel right now, but you're not alone. There's more for you in this world."

"He called me power hungry. He said I was just like everyone else. He said he'd give me a clean slate, but what's a monster's face as such? I'm not going to walk through life in shame. Let's just pretend we never met and that I really did die at the Equalist rally. I'd rather die as a legend than as a man."

"You already died a legend! Don't you see? The Amon, leader of the Equalists, is dead. He's been dead ever since your mask broke. Now you're Amon, the Fire Nation kid who survived something horrible but came out stronger. That little boy who got burned has wanted to live ever since the attack, but you're too strung up in your dreams of grandeur that you won't give that little boy the chance he deserves. So yes, your face is going to attract pity and maybe even fear, but it's a symbol that you aren't going to let someone's bullying keep you from living your life."

"That little boy has nothing left for him. What's living when it's hardly more than surviving? Everything I had to live for is gone."

Amon took another few steps forward, his toes hanging off the cliff.

"Not everything. You haven't lost me."

Shame swirled in with the physical pain. "You should hate me for what I did to you."

"But I don't. Amon, you aren't alone. You aren't alone because…because I love you."

Amon inched his heels back. "You won't love me when you see what I've become. I'm pathetic, a repulsive cripple. Go on with your life. You deserve far better than me."

Emi moved a few tentative steps forward. "I don't care who you were, whether you're a bender or a non-bender, or what your face looks like. I love you, and if you have an inkling of care for me or yourself, you'll turn around and let yourself experience a real life."

After what felt like an eternity, Amon turned around and unfastened the straps on his mask. When he pulled it off, Emi could finally see what her father had done:

From the left side of his forehead to the left side of his nose down to his chin was screaming red flesh, the cheek that had once only been a deep red was a sinewy mess, and she swore that the hole went all the way through to the inside of his mouth. The skin on the perimeter of the burn looked almost bubbling, and extended into the right side of his face. Parts of his nose revealed the cartilage. His left eye was in a permanent squint, and his ear was still just a mound of broken cartilage. His left eye didn't grow eyelashes, nor have an eyebrow above it. There was a single tear stream falling from his right eye.

"This is what you're getting," Amon mumbled.

She pulled him into a gentle embrace. "It's perfect."

* * *

One of the sisters spread some kind of gel onto Amon's burn that lessened the pain, and put a bandage over it.

"Thank you, Sister Iio," he said as they left the sister who had cared for the bison.

"I wish you well. You've taught me a valuable lesson."

Amon nodded. "The spirits aren't done with us."

Emi pulled Amon away. "Come on, you could probably use some food and water."

Amon was led back to the house, where Emi left for fifteen minutes and returned with a plate of food—dumplings and a slice of fruit pie. His mouth watered.

"You've reduced me to an animal," Amon said as he cut off a piece of dumpling and stuck it in his mouth, pushing it off to the right side.

Every movement of his jaw sent a jolt of pain to the left side of his face, making the process too laborious to be a pleasure. He swallowed with a grimace.

"You okay?" Emi asked.

"I'm fine."

She smirked. "Then take another bite."

Whatever controlled his pride was still in running the show, so he cut off another piece of dumpling and stuck it in his mouth. The pain was about the same as before, except in a moment of fading focus, he let the half-chewed food to roll to the left side of his face. The pain ripped through, and he almost panicked. But, clarity hit with speed, and he leaned down and spit the food back onto his plate.

"You, my friend, are the embodiment of attractiveness right now."

Amon raised an eyebrow. "Low blow."

"I meant you spitting your food out." She glanced at his plate. "Maybe you _should_ be on a liquid diet."

"No! No, no liquid diet…"

She glanced at him. "Can't you get an infection if you get anything stuck in the hole in your face?" He nodded. "Do you think you could swallow that without touching your cheek?"

He glanced down at his plate. "Yeah."

"Try it."

He succeeded in swallowing a spoonful of pre-chewed food. "Just for the record, I'd rather starve than have you pre-chew my food for me."

She nudged him. "Come on, who's gonna know besides you and me?"

"This wasn't the intimacy I had in mind."

She smiled and spooned another mouthful of what Amon had left on his plate. "You really don't have anything to lose."

"At least let me feed myself."

She handed him the spoon. "Well, if you don't want pre-chewed food, I think you'll just have to be on a liquid-like consistency diet until we can fix the hole in your face. Plastic surgery should be available near the Fire Nation capital."

He swallowed. "I can't afford that."

"But I can. Come on, we're in this together, right?" She looked away, as if to seem flippant. "Assuming you forgave me for existing."

"Emi, I—" He coughed, and swore his skin was breaking from the force. "I love you too."

She smiled. "Well, now that we have that painful exchange out of the way…"

She leaned in to kiss him.

"Not on my face."

Emi thought about rolling her eyes, but simply kissed his neck. "Well, I don't need to touch your face to fool around, if you want."

Amon sighed. "Tonight's not the night."

"Guess we have a while more if I'm sticking around to pay for your surgery."

He took her hand. "Emi, please, I can't ask something that huge of you."

"Do you plan to drop me as soon as we leave the temple?"

"No. You—I thought we were gonna travel together now."

"Even if I have to go back to the village to say goodbye to my sister and nephews?"

Amon nodded. "I'll go with you. We're…kind of together now."

She smiled, and moved a hair out of his eye. "Looks like I bagged the leader of the Equalists."

Amon smiled through the pain. "I think he walked in willingly." He paused. "You don't mind that all my chakras are probably permanently blocked, right?"

"I don't know what chakras are," she said as she wrapped her arms around him.

She gave him a peck, and it left him biting back a whimper. "I was planning on punching you in the face if you tried to ask for me back, so we're even now."

He gave her a look. "You were gonna punch me in the face?"

"Or balls. Whichever inspired me most at the time."

Amon shook his head. "You're no weakling."

After Amon giving his greatest gratitude to everyone in the Eastern Air Temple and saying goodbye to Woogi, Emi and Amon began their quiet journey back to the Fire Nation.

"Hey Amon?" Emi asked on the morning they would arrive in their old village.

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever worry that…Avatar Korra will realize that you're still alive?"

Flashes of Koh's face as his mask went through his head. "I can guarantee it."

It was strange how time worked; Amon felt like they never left the little town when they first walked back in. Everything felt like it'd been stopped: merchants and customers chattered at vegetable stands, the small houses stood humble among the rich green fields and fire lily patches. Amon counted himself lucky, guessing it was the last few days of bloom for the flowers.

Right before opening her front door, Emi's eyes widened.

"What?" Amon demanded.

"I didn't get Tahno's autograph for the boys!"

Classic Emi. "Give them my autograph."

As soon as Emi opened the door, the twins ran into her arms, gushing her name. Emi's sister stood in the corner, watching the scene with her arms crossed across her chest and a smile on her face.

"Are you and Takeo dating now?" Twin One/Two asked.

"Actually Ran, Takeo isn't his real name." Emi nodded toward Amon. "His name's Amon."

The boys' eyes widened in awe. "You're Amon?"

For some reason, Amon figured this was the time to take off his bandage. "Yeah."

They flocked to him, poking and prodding at his burned face. "Did you really live in an airship?"

"Did you get bloodbended and live?"

"Did you get shot by lightening and live?"

"Did you meet Avatar Korra?"

"Did you sleep with Avatar Korra?"

"What happened to the Equalists?"

"Do you have an Equalist glove for us?"

"Or a tank?"

"Can I stick my whole finger in your face?"

"Is your face real?"

Overwhelmed, Amon let his instincts kick in and chi blocked both boys until they were giggling heaps on the floor.

"Ran, we just got chi blocked by _Amon_!"

Ran smiled. "I _know_!"

Emi's sister stepped forward, shaking her head. "I never thought—you—you're a disgrace to non-benders, what you did to them—how did you—?"

Emi and Amon exchanged a glance, and Amon decided to get some air, slipping the bandage back on. Emi had a hooded robe for cover against any grudge-holding Triad members, and he had the ugly white piece of cloth that could desperately use a washing.

Lingering memories that needed a solid background moved him back to that small house that he couldn't enter weeks before. Finally, with shaking hands, he twisted the doorknob and entered the home.

It had been sacked time and time again: furniture was dusty or broken, and nothing that had even the slightest shine was around the rubble. What had once been floors that his mother took pride in cleaning were covered in dirt encrusted shoe marks. The windows were covered by boards, leaving the light minimal. Even so, he kept walking until he reached the bedroom he and his parents had shared—one double bed for them that stood on a rickety frame and a mat that was stuffed with picken feathers for his bed. The mat was ripped and frayed, but still on the floor. He let himself collapse onto it, the mat only able to hold half his body.

He sighed and sifted through the feathers. He may have a new life, but that didn't keep his old one from existing. Maybe this new life was a continuation of the one where he was a farm boy. After all, the farm boy life had only served as a story in the life of the leader of the Equalists.

Amon was surprised when his hand touched something of a different texture than the feathers. He pulled it out, and a lump rose in his throat.

It was a photo of his mother, his father, and him. He was squirming and laughing as the photo was taken, his parents looking at him with smiles on their faces. After taking a long look at it, he stuck it in his pocket and got to his feet. There was still one more place he'd like to go to before he and Emi left.

"I still love you guys, wherever you are," Amon muttered as he shut the door behind him.

His next stop was the old inn, knowing the innkeeper was out shopping after having passed him through town. As a child, he'd always taken Woogu and explored the old inn, him being one of the many kids who believed that the spirit of an old Water Tribe woman named Hama still haunted the place and would kill anyone Fire Nation who stayed there. At his age, Amon no longer believed in the part about Hama bothering people in the present day, but believed wholeheartedly in her being a bloodbender—the first bloodbender—in life. Thinking about Yakone, anger welled in his chest as he thought about the monstrosity Hama had created.

When he opened the inn door, he met gaze with a couple local kids, staring at him with wide eyes. "You're not gonna tell Mr. Yuang, are you?" one of the boys asked.

Amon shook his head. "You guys shouldn't be hanging around here. It's too scary for kids."

"Is there really a ghost here?"

Amon nodded. "And trust me, you never want to feel what her power is like. Bloodbending is just about the worst feeling on earth. Only monsters use it, and she's one of them." He knew the boys were staring at his bandage, so he pulled it off. "It hurts even more than what the monsters around here can do."

The boys scurried out, leaving Amon to return to his old instincts and find the attic room he'd discovered as a child. Once inside the room, he sat down and stared at the old box that Hama had left in the room. It was empty, just as he knew from his childhood. "You were an awful person, Hama. I hope you know you did nothing to stop the war. All you've caused is a new era of pain none of us should ever have to experience."

"Talking to walls?" Emi asked as she joined Amon on the floor.

"You know, I've met one real bloodbender: Tarrlok. He and talked when I captured him—he didn't want to talk, of course. He was still in shock that I'd resisted the bloodbending more than losing his own bending. Anyway, I got him to work with me on a backstory for me in exchange for his freedom. He told me how being the son of Yakone, a famous gangster, was not a pleasant one. He'd been drilled since the age of seven, yelled at, forced into the cold, and carved to perfection. He told me how his father used to make him bloodbend wolves, and how much he hated it. Seeing him like that, hearing that story…I never really let it sink it how sad it was." He turned to Emi. "And more recently, I realized that I know two people with that backstory."

Emi looked away. "Dad didn't make me firebend wolves."

"But he did try to mold you into something you didn't want to be. Tarrlok told me, the last time I saw him, that I'd saved him somehow. Said he didn't even realize that he'd been made into a tool of revenge." Amon paused. "I hope he figured it all out. Do you ever feel like that? A tool of use to your father, instead of his daughter?"

She crossed her arms. "I used to, back in the few years between when I ran away from him and when he died. But, now, with you, having not used my bending in a while, I feel like I have more control over my destiny. To be honest, I never thought I'd leave this town. You gave me hope." She took his hand in hers. "Did I give you your honor? Cause then I think we covered all major life emotions."

He chuckled. "I don't think I can ever gain that back."

"Hey, give it some time. You ready to leave?"

Amon nodded. "Let's leave this town of memories behind."

As they walked back to the sea, Amon handed her a fire lily. Emi smiled.

* * *

**A/N: **I thought the beginning of this chapter was a little cheesy, but I guess it wasn't as bad as me awkwardly killing off Amon when me being pissed about canon!Amon's death was the reason I even wrote this. XD Anyway, there's one little epilogue left, and then this fic is done! Thanks to all my readers, reviewers, and everyone who gave this fic a favorite or alert. The response I've gotten for this, especially considering it was my first fic, was so wonderful for me, so thank you all and I hope you've enjoyed this story and will stick around for the epilogue.


	14. Epilogue: Headfirst into the Flames

- six years later -

"Daddy! Daddy, guess what?" a five year old boy with a full head of shining black hair and light amber eyes said as he ran at his father.

"What is it, Taro?" Amon asked as he threw his son into the air and caught him.

"I can firebend! Put me down so I can show you!"

A sense of discomfort dug itself into Amon's stomach, but he plastered a smile on as his eldest son showed him some basic firebending moves. "That's great." Taro smiled and returned to his father for a ride back to their home.

"Why aren't you super excited?" the boy asked with a crinkled brow.

"I am, you just can't tell."

Taro's expression turned to annoyance. "You always say that, but I do know when you're happy!"

Amon hoisted him onto his shoulders. "Let's wait to discuss this with your mother, okay? She'll be mad if we're not on time to dinner."

Taro rested his hand on his cheek. "I guess you're right."

That night, dinner was spent in silence between Amon and Emi, both sensing the elephant rhino in the room.

"So who'll be teaching me? Will I go to a class or will Mommy teach me?" Taro asked.

Emi answered. "Ro, your dad and I need to talk a bit about it. How about after dinner, you wash off and get your night clothes on and we'll tell you before you go to bed?"

Taro smiled. "Okay!"

Once Taro went speeding out of the room, Kenji, Taro's thirteen-month-old brother, started fussing. Emi pulled him out of his high chair and jiggled him.

"What do you think?" Amon asked.

Emi frowned. "I can take care of it. Teach him, practice with him. It's fine. You don't have to even think about it."

Amon shook his head. "For some reason, I feel like I should be dealing with this. I can teach him, and you're busy with the baby."

"Amon—"

"Come on, I can do this."

She smirked. "You can't firebend."

He smirked back. "Princess Azula's firebending teachers were non-benders, yet she was one of the best firebenders in history."

"I uh, I'd kinda prefer if he didn't turn into Princess Azula."

Amon chuckled. "I was going for Dragon of the West."

She patted his shoulder. "That's better." She sighed. "I guess we can give you a try. Don't screw him up."

"I won't."

"Your honor is relying on this."

"I know."

* * *

The next morning, Taro and Amon hiked out to an unpopulated area of the island town Emi and Amon had settled on years before. When they reached a clearing with a small patch of fire lilies and a pond, Amon stopped.

"How can you teach me firebending when you're not a firebender?" Taro asked.

Amon sat down and crossed his legs. "Because I know how to teach you. Join me." Taro took the same cross-legged position next to his father. "What I'm going to teach you is control, and after that, you can learn all the bending tricks you want with your mom."

"Why's control so important?"

"Fire is a dangerous element. One wrong move, and you could burn down this whole field." Taro looked around with apprehensive eyes. "Just like strokes with a brush, a firebender cannot take back a blast of fire, even if they don't mean to hurt something…or someone. But, if you learn control, you don't have to worry so much about this happening to you. Plus, it allows you a clearer frame of mind so you can learn tricks that your friends can't figure out."

Taro smiled. "How do I control?"

"Your bending comes from the sun. Can you feel the sun beating down on you now, filling you with power?"

Taro tried to copy his father's hand position as they sat in his lap. "How do I know if I can feel it?"

"It'll feel like energy running through your chi paths."

"Huh?"

"Just trust me, you'll be able to feel it."

Taro closed his eyes, but they fluttered back open. Then what?"

"Proper breathing leads to a more powerful firebending. So, breathing."

"But I already know how to breathe!"

Amon smiled. "You have to learn discipline if you don't want to end up hurting anyone."

Taro's expression softened. "Like what happened to you."

Amon's scar, after plastic surgery in its first month, had softened in appearance: the angry red was a pink-red, the skin in his cheek had been recovered by a graft, and the areas around the scar that had been blistered and bubbly textured skin had been reduced to skin that was raised and felt leathery to the touch. But, his ear still looked malformed, and did not work, and neither did his left eye. "What happened to me was deliberate. But, you could still hurt someone."

"I don't want to hurt anyone."

He put a hand on his son's back. "I know you don't, but we have to be careful."

Taro closed his eyes. "I want discipline."

Amon drilled his son in breathing exercises for hours, with the boy only becoming more antsy and frustrated as the hours dragged on.

"I'm tired of this!" Taro exclaimed as he broke out of the stance Amon had put him in. "I want to firebend!"

Amon took a deep breath; he couldn't keep his son from the flames, no matter how hard he tried. He picked up a leaf and handed it to his son. "See how long you can keep this leaf from burning."

The leaf was burned into a crisp and left a flame in a matter of under a minute. A huge smile locked onto Taro's face as he played with the tiny flame.

"Be careful with that, son," Amon said, watching how Taro used his ability.

"It's okay, Daddy. I have this."

Taro experimented with making the fireball bigger and smaller, and even throwing it into the air and catching it. Amon stared off at the fire lilies, reminiscing. In a moment of naivety that could only come from a five-year-old discovering a great power, he threw the fireball to his father, forgetting that there was no way Amon could catch it.

"Heads up, Daddy!" he cheered, realizing his mistake a moment later.

The fireball was en route to hit Amon's face, but he managed to deflect it with his hand. He sucked in a cry of pain and plunged his hand into the pond. Taro's eyes widened and he ran to his father. "I'm so sorry, Daddy! I forgot. I'm—I'm so sorry. Please don't get mad at me. I promise, I'll never do that again. Daddy?"

Amon took a deep breath, letting his frantic thoughts settle. "It's okay, Taro. Training accidents happen. Go pick your mom a couple fire lilies and I'll be ready to go back when you're done."

Although the boy still looked like he could burst into tears at any moment, he followed Amon's orders. He sucked air in through his teeth as the burn couldn't be quelled with just the pond water. The pain was nowhere near the pain of losing his face, but he hated having Taro see him as weak.

When Taro returned with two fire lilies, Amon walked him home.

"Daddy, I'm so sorry I hurt you. It won't happen again."

"I know. Really, I'm not mad."

Amon must've repeated that answer ten times on the walk home, and Taro locked himself in his room once he reached the house. Emi looked to her husband. "Something wrong?"

He held out his hand. "Give me some aloe and some time. It'll be okay."

Emi put down Kenji and spread aloe on Amon's burn. "Lost control?" Amon nodded. "You sure you can handle it?"

Amon nodded. "He told me he never wants to firebend again. I have to face my prejudice head on."

Once the aloe was spread, Amon walked into Taro's room. "Can we talk?"

Taro wiped his nose. "I guess."

"You shouldn't stop firebending because of what happened. When I was younger, I would've told you to stop bending, but I had a twisted view back then. Now, I see something: bending is a part of you, and it isn't something you can suppress."

"I'll keep it inside if it means not hurting anyone."

He placed his hand on Taro's shoulder. "You can never prevent accidents. I should've been paying more attention. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're only five."

"But you were so brave at my age. You tried to protect your parents from a mean firebender and then Koh gave you special powers. All I can do is hurt you."

"I would never ask for my past for you. You're lucky. Now please, let yourself be a firebender. You were so excited about it before."

"But you're a non-bender. Why are you letting me firebend, even if I'm dangerous?"

Amon took a deep breath; all he had to do was say that he was too dangerous to firebend and he'd have a non-bender son without any special powers. Yet, what had life taught him? He knew what it felt like to lose pieces of himself, and he could never wish that upon his own flesh and blood. Remembering the pain of losing his balance to the deaf ear and his perception abilities from the blind eye clawed him to his final answer.

"There's nothing wrong with being a bender so long as you learn from your mistakes. I think you're going to be more careful next time, so I want you to keep learning."

He licked a tear from his cheek. "Will you still teach me?"

"If you really want, I will."

Taro buried his face into Amon's chest. "You're being so nice to me, but I hurt you. It doesn't make sense."

Amon rustled Taro's hair. "You're my son; I'm not allowed to be mean to you. Now come on, are you gonna keep firebending?"

"I guess."

Amon wrapped his arms around his son. _He won't turn out like his grandfather. You have to have faith._ "Why don't you go play with your friends? You've been working really hard today."

Taro wiped the tears off his face and ran out into the open. Amon stayed behind with his wife.

"I did it. He's okay to keep bending."

Emi smiled. "It took some guts to do that. How do you feel?"

Amon shook his head. "Anxious, but that might just be the fact that Avatar Korra and I haven't made connection in six years and I can't imagine Koh's going to keep himself from her for very long."

Emi shook her head. "You always focus on the wrong things."

She kissed his cheek. "I think that's fairly important."

"Yeah, but I can think of something more important."

"What?"

"I think you regained your honor."

* * *

**A/N: **Whew! Wow, yup, there's the ending to my first full length fic. I hope that everyone enjoyed this story!

Thanks to everyone who read, favorited, and alerted. A special shoutout to thearistocrat, SarahSimon, Anime-baka, KhAel, UltiXevoz, Elena-Unduli, SaiyanWarrior200, goodgirl528, Vazio, Gauchadeutsche, Aeire, Apples Who Dance With Oranges, Gravespawn, flutflutflyer, eelbroth, and the various anonymous and guest reviewers. Whether you reviewed one chapter or all of them, I truly appreciate the feedback.

As for my future as a fanfiction writer, I can't exactly say what's going to be happening. I'm focused on my original fiction right now, but I'm going to begin an urban fantasy series that takes influence from the Spirit World of Avatar if anyone's interested in that, PM me.


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